story98.xml

story98.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-02-28

At home, with a 2 1/2 year old and eight months pregnant my husband called me telling me to turn on the news. I turned on CNN to see one of the World Trade Center towers on fire. It was terrible to see but not frightening- at that point the news commentators were still speculating on the cause. Most still thought it an accident. As I watched I could see another plane, live, heading for the tower. At first I thought it was a replay of the first tower. Then I knew it wasn't. It was clear then that no one knew what was going on but that it was all intentional. I could not leave the TV. I quickly feed my two year old, thankul that he could play by himself some. I started making phone calls. I called a close friend here in Princeton to ask if she was watching the news. She was. She was upset and couldn't talk. Her father, in New York on business, was in one of the towers. I got off the phone stunned. There were several friends of mine whose husbands worked in town- even in the towers. I started making calls. I cried with most of them. We started a network, calling everyone to make sure they were ok or had someone with them while they waited news. Then the Pentagon was hit. My father in law works there. I had to call my husband and tell him. Very difficult. I called my mother in law- she had no word but would try to get in touch with him. She was calm and I was glad of that. I couldn't eat and I was starting to feel sick. I could feel my heart pounding. I was very very afraid. When the plane went down in Pennsylvania, I felt very vunerable-in the middle, literally, of it all. I wanted to pack the car and leave. Go somewhere. They had no idea how many planes where out there and they scrambled to get them accounted for and landed. I called my friend again, and offered to watch her young daughter while she awaited news on her father. It was comforting, a bit, to watch the young ones play and sing oblivious. Soon after I heard from my mother in law that my father in law was ok. I was very happy to make that call to my husband. The TV never went off that day, or for several days, it seemed. It was instantaniously different- a different world, and new feelings. I was afraid for my son, for my unborn child. I was afraid he wouldn't be born. The circumstances of his impending birth felt threatened and unclear. I was sure that nothing would be a certainity again. I could not even be sure the next day would come.

It is now amazing to me, on the last day of February 2002, how normal life seems again. So soon. And yet, there it is- in every day life; on shows, in the news, in the way we go about our day with new security and restrictions. All my friends' husbands were accounted for and safe. My good friend's father was not. There it is. Everyday.