nmah410.xml

nmah410.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-24

I am a high school English teacher. On the morning of September 11, 2001 I was in the library preparing lessons for the days ahead. While working, I was approached by our dean of students. It was unusual for him to be in our library at that time of day, but as he chatted a bit, he got around to asking if we could turn on the TV monitors and watch the news. We said, sure we can, but we rarely do since we're busy. He said he'd like to turn them on...he had heard something on the radio he'd like to check out.

From that point on, my day turned from ordinary to unforgetable. We watched in confusion at one burning tower with a plane headed toward the second. The reports at that time were, of course, full of uncertainty and speculation. Ironically, even the newscasters were initially naive and incredulous.

It was with great agony, fear, sadness that the day unfolded. That first class period ended and with it my "prep" hour; I needed to go to my classroom to face my students. I didn't even consider not turning on the television in my classroom. I needed to watch, and understand, and, also, to help a classroom full of 15-year-olds do the same. Some students had heard the news in their first period class; others hadn't. We shared what we knew for fact, wondered about all we didn't.

Every single student understood the gravity of the situation without a "talk" or message from me. They asked meaningful - and heartwrentching - questions as they searched for some meaning. By the time the second tower crumbled, the enormity of the tragedy was too much for some and we could no longer hold back tears.

We quickly learned how little we knew about Bin Laden, Al-quida, and Afghanistan. And how little we understood others' views of the world and of the US.

As the day went on, each of my classes reacted differently. Some classes wanted to talk about what was happening, others were overwhelmed and wanted a "normal" hour of class, get another wanted "an update, please" and then quiet time to reflect in journals.

Although the school day finally ended, the effects of the tragedy and the emotional drain continued much longer.

On the surface our lives look much the same, I imagine. What's changed is internal: an awareness, a sadness, a sense of loss of control. I guess the positive changes are there, too. An appreciation for those who work to help others. And, also, for me there has been a stronger commitment to do more to build good in this world.

That we are a community in every sense of the word. I mean within our families, cities, countries, and the entire globe. We need to love more, help others, cherish life,and appreciate the heroes around us. Certainly we know evil exists and there are violent, hateful people in this world. We have learned that we must protect ourselves from that danger. But more importantly, we need to remember that where goodness exists, there is less evil.

I am sad to say that I had never been much of a flag flier prior to September 11. Always it was my father who was the one who proudly displayed the flag for our family. He was a WWII veteran who served in Germany and his patriotism always ran deeper than mine. I think that I now understand his feelings for that great symbol. As our country was attacked, I had such strong personal feelings that it was I and my fellow citizens being terrorized. Our flag now represents all of us in a way it had never done before.