nmah238.xml

nmah238.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-19

I was watching TV, waiting for the Regis and Kelly show to come on. All of a sudden Matt Lauer made an announcement about the Trade Center and on the TV was this horrific picture of the North Tower burning. I made a phone call to try to reach my brother and while I was talking to his secretary I watched a plane flew into the other tower. I immediately said "another plane hit! its no accident! That's got to be on purpose!". I hung up the phone and left to go over my Mom's apartment, because she had cable.

Later that morning, after the Pentagon was attacked, I was sure there was going to be World War III, and I went up to the store and bought lots of bottled water. That's all. That's all I could think to buy. I couldn't think of what was needed for the end of the world. I was so nervous and there were other people there, too, and lots of the water was gone. No one seemed panicky, however. After I loaded up the basket with water I went back to my Mom's. After I parked, I heard a jet fly over, and I ducked. It looked like a military plane and I was relieved. For days I sat in front of the television, mesmerized, anxious for news. And for weeks every time I heard a jet I instinctively ducked.

I had bad nightmares for about three months. I would wake up crying every morning. Usually I would dream about the people I saw jumping out of the buildings. I would dream of trying to catch them. In my dreams I'd be running around with my arms outstretched, reaching out, and their bodies would fall right through my open arms, like shadows falling across the yard. That's when I would wake up.

I'm a very emotional person, and I cry whenever I read about 9/11. And I'm a very curious person, too, and I have read a lot about the people who died, and their stories, and the experiences of those who lived. And that means I have cried a whole lot.

I wish I could do something besides cry. I feel so helpless. And I feel angry that people could be so cruel and evil to do something like this.

We need to remember that we have enemies that wish to destroy us, and those enemies have no conscience, and are willing to do anything to us. We need to fight back, and destroy them before they destroy us. It is a kill or be killed situation. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd feel that way about war. I had thought that war was something to be avoided, now I know that we have to defend ourselves.

I taped a small paper flag on my door, as a symbol of solidarity with the victims and with America.