nmah367.xml

nmah367.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-21

Being on the night shift that week, I was asleep when it all began to unfold. At about 9:30 that morning, my phone began to ring off the hook and no one was leaving messages on my machine. Over and over it would ring about every five or ten minutes until I finally couldn't stand it anymore and got up to answer it with a rather shall we say, angry salutation. It was my girlfriend on the line and she was terrified. "Sweetie, i know you're sleeping and I'm sorry but I think you'd better go turn the TV on." This made my blood run cold. As I moved to the living room I asked what was going on, because it's very unlike her to be this freaked out over anything. Her response as she began to cry, "the World Trade Center is gone, the Pentagon is on fire, it's gone, they're all gone..." My only resonse was, "What do you mean gone?" That question was answered with one look at the TV. The image showed the North Tower in flames and just then the second jet slammed into the South Tower. I had no idea I was watching a replay of this. It was like some sort of bizzare dream. Then they replayed the collapse. I said, "Oh my God, they've dropped." To which my girlfriend sobbed, "That's what I've been telling you!" From the moment I laid eyes on the scene, I couldn't even hear her anymore, everything was silent, I hadn't heard a word she was saying. That numbness and the inability to absorb or even fathom what I had seen with my own eyes dogged me for days after. I was addicted to CNN for weeks after the 11th, and no matter how many times or from how many angles it was shown, I still found it hard to swallow that this had actually happened. Knowing how many people work in those buildings, and the speed with which they collapsed, I had feared the final death toll would be in the tens of thousnads. Even a year later, I still find it hard sometimes to wrap my head around it.

Every single facet of the events of September 11th have become an obsession. It stems from my need to understand it all. I think however, that this will be one of those defining moments in history that will defy understanding forever. Since the 11th, I haven't been able to enjoy a beautiful blue sky day without thinking back to that morning. I hope I'll be able to put it to rest someday.

The lives lost and to no lesser degree, the rescue and recovery people who did an outstanding job under horrific conditions. Heros one and all. I firmly believe that in the future, Sept.11 should not so much be a National holiday, but a National day of rest and rememberance for these people.

I did, and will do so on September 11th for the rest of my life. On that day, we were all Americans, we were all one people. The American flag gave us all something to rally around and it gave us a means to show our support. I'll never look at it the same way again.