nmah147.xml

nmah147.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-17

I am a firefighter/paramedic in St. Louis County, Missouri, and I was finishing my shift on the morning of Sept. 11th and as we were sitting around the table at shift change talking when the news began to come in, and at first everyone thought it was a horrible accident. As soon as the second plane hit the Towers we knew instantly this was no accident. I will never forget the horrible crushing feeling that grew with each passing update as we witnessed the unfolding events together. There was a fire alarm call and the on duty crew responded and by the time they got back, the Pentagon information was coming in, and we wondered how much more would happen. There were reports of unknown numbers of missing and possibly hijacked planes and every plane in US airspace being ordered grounded and I remember that I could not tear myself away from the tv at work for about 4 hours, even though my shift was over. I had to call and tell my wife and children that were at home that I loved them. I finally drove home and when I got home I struggled all day with the urge to go and get my kids at school just to bring them home and hold them. At home we learned of the plane that went down in Pennsylvania and we watched tv the rest of the day and late into the night hoping they would find survivors, hoping nothing else would happen, hoping reports would come in that it wasn't as bad as first thought. I vividly remember first feeling sorrow, then horror, then disbelief, and then lastly fear. How could this happen in the United States? When would it end? Would we ever feel safe again?

My life has changed in that I feel a new appreciation for life and family and co-workers. As a firefighter we have all noticed a big increase in appreciation and attention, and often feel humbled by the kind words and actions of our fellow Americans.

I think our vunerability was exposed and we should never take for granted our safety.

I am a Gulf War veteran and I flew a flag prior to Sept. 11th and I have always had a strong American pride. I have always wondered why there was seemingly a decline in national pride prior to Sept. 11th. After Sept. 11th I was glad there was an increase in flag flying and patriotism, I just wish it had not taken an event like this to bring it to the surface.