rc_story6.xml
Title
rc_story6.xml
Source
born-digital
Media Type
email
Date Entered
2003-09-12
RC Story: Story
An e-mail chronicle from the two weeks following 9/11
Tue's. Sept 11th 2001
Sorry you were so worried. I was not able to call you there , as a lot of phones were out. and I would get a very fast busy signal.. I did get through to Mom, and she called Laurie, so You more than likely Know by now that we are Alive. Ben spoke to Chantal But I have not been able to get through to her .. when I call there I get that fast busy signal.. So pass this on to everyone If you can We are as OK as we can be under the circumstances..
This is unfathomable ,It is to much too take in ... I have a fireman friend (Steve Olson) who is missing .. all we can do is pray. It touches all of our lives on such a profound level.. .... I was just in the World Trade Center yesterday ! I can't believe this.. Thousands of people thousands of lives..
this country will never be the same again. They came in through the back door and hit everyone .. not only physically, but on all other levels (at least, I believe their intent was to terrorize, but also to demoralize). That they were able to hit the Pentagon like that .. the linchpin of our security system. I had just arrived at work when I found out about it from Elaine,the owner's daughter, she called looking for her father. Her husband works next door to the World trade Center.. She was understandably pretty shaken up, as she couldn't reach him on his cell phone. He was OK fortunately, he , along with thousands of others walked home across the B'klyn bridge!
Steve, My employer could not get out of the city at all, all the cell phones were out.
I sat there at work at my drawing table, by myself all day, listening to the radio. I could not take it in. .. and it suddenly really hit me, about 2 o'clock .. before that it was too mind boggling to completely take in..
and I started to cry, and cry .. for all of the terrible pain ...
the radio is estimating it in excess of 10 thousand people .. Pearl Harbor had a little over 2 thousand killed!! I went into shock again when I finally got home, and actually saw the footage on television, and then I went down by the church and looked at the skyline of New York, and It was like the twilight zone. I was looking at another City ,it was not The New York city Skyline , but some other city ..
and this was not the USA but somewhere else.
Our hearts may be broken but our spirits will not be!!
Love Bea
Wen. Sept, 12th 2001 The terrible events yesterday were predicted in the bible ( Revelations)
and in the writings of a prophet named Ellen G. White, She lived and wrote
around 1890 she was given visions that described events, She wrote, (and I don't have a book here to quote exactly) " The tallest buildings would be hit by giant balls of fire from the sky and would fall into themselves as if made of matchsticks"
Events to come are really terrible, and we are like people in the days of the flood , we don't want to hear it. We want to go on with our lives and not listen to the prophecies that are coming true ... Myself included!
and when I think of my tiny little life in the grand scheme of things I understand a little better why the Bible says "All is Vanity" I believe we have to use everything we've got, everything God gave us, to fight this monstrous evil..
and pray for more strength than we have, because God is all powerful and knows the beginning and the end. In the final analysis our salvation depends on him.
although it's really hard to let go of the vanity and put it in Gods hands.
I am not at all strong without God, it( my own strength ) is all an illusion that I feed myself to get me through this life. I do a lot of things in my life that I know are wrong, and have in my past done many things that I know are wrong .. I try to live my life right but my strength is vanity. I know this is true.
Our only true hope is in our prayers for each other, and in God's grace.
Many people in recent years, (Especially), have been so self involved, and only concerned with their own pleasure and gain, me, me, me, even in their charity, and in supporting politicly correct causes, the driving motivation has been how they are viewed by others. Image rather than substance. I believe the reasons we do things are important. God is the one who sees our heart.
Please Pray for my friend, Steve Olson who is one of the hero firemen missing. Pray also for his wife and young children, one of his children is recovering from Cancer. Pray that she has the strength to deal with whatever she needs to deal with, those in such terrible pain need our prayers.
Love Bea.
May God help us all. Amen.
Thurs. Sept. 13th. 2001 You have such a good heart.. My sweet niece .I see that. I know if you were here you would be right in the center of things .. from choice not because you had to be. I don't think things will ever be normal here again !
At least not normal in the sense of being the same as they were. I doubt that there are many people in New York, or even the tri State area, who do not know someone. who was lost. They are talking full scale war now..
part of me wants to get as far away from New York as humanly possible.
(which,with all of the lock downs isn't very far these days) and the other part wants to fight!! I just think that most people do not have any Idea, really of who we are dealing with.. The totally alien thought process that brought this whole thing about.. I believe, these people have had many years in which to hone their skills in psychologically demoralizing techniques. They are masters at the subtle and not so subtle twists such as using our own planes to attack us, training their suicide pilots in our country! Twisting the meaning of freedom and democracy into an ugly weapon to use against us!
Laughing at us while they Kill thousands of defenseless people!! and the scariest part is the complete lack of respect for any life including their own. This was planned for many years.. I heard a rumor , I don't know if it is true, but I heard that just before the attacks there were no cabs at all in the area of the twin towers. Food for thought if its true.??? ?And if the cab drivers knew.. why didn't the CIA? ??
They want to use our own openness , freedom and belief system against us ...
I believe that they are not afraid of retaliation, this is what they want..
they want to plunge us into a totally chaotic 3rd world war. They believe, they are on a holy mission and are being directed by God !! therefor they have no fear of death, and no wish to preserve life on earth. They only want to be around long enough to destroy every one .. that to me is really scary.
I am so filled with conflicting emotions, and struggling so hard to think clearly . Feeling such deep Pain for those lost, and those left behind in pain, shock, terror and confusion ( NOT HELPLESSNESS ) we are not helpless.
I personally feel jagged, my pain is fresher , because of my own resent horrendous losses) I write about my feelings because its easier for me to write than it is to articulate and it is my own personal way of organizing my mixed up emotions and dealing with things. That and Prayer... God help us All.... The only good thing that came out of this is the way that people are rallying to help one another, and boost moral. Everyone it seems , is doing everything they can, to help out and aid the victims and their familles..
and all of the people working so tirelessly at the site to try to save lives..
if they can. I am only an artist, such a superficial skill in a time like this, When all priorities change. Candle light vigil tomorrow night at
7 EST throughout the country!!
love Bea
Sept. 14th 2001
I just came in a few minutes ago, it was heart warming to see how many people were outside for the candlelight vigil! . Ben has Volunteered, he has been unable to get into the city to work. there is still no ferry service except for emergency personnel. He is helping to organize and distribute supplies for the fire fighters etc., blankets, flashlights, socks, gloves, canine food, etc. It feels good to be able to do something to help out.
Everyone feel like they want to do something. (I have racked my brain to find ways I can help in this crisis) Then I thought of all of the things I have in the basement, a lot of Cameron's Books, CDs, games, toys, My huge drafting table ( which is wonderful but too big for the apt! ) and other things. So .. I am trying to organize a yard sale to raise money for victims families. After Cameron died, other than his personal things, I don't wish to keep anything,, His death was so painful to Us) I think Cameron would like that his things are being sold for this cause . I work here on Staten Island so don't have the commuting problem, ???I have been able to continue working all week, by the way my new hrs are Tues. Through Sat. I have Sunday and Mondays off. I hope I can get it all organized for this coming week.
Thank You for your prayers, they help. God bless you and keep you safe.
Love Bea
Mon. Sept. 17th.
I have sat here, and cried and cried as I watched and listened to the horrors unfold on TV and radio,(I'd almost rather not see it). I can't imagine what it must be like for those that must deal on a daily basis, with sorting through the rubble separating body parts from twisted metal... a different kind of strength.. (than I feel I have ).
We have neighbors (in our building) who are dealing directly with it..
an EMS worker, a Nurse, and an FBI agent.. all of whom had been working double shifts for the first few days, The FBI agent still is. I haven't seen her in days, (just heard her, getting ready to leave for work noises, at odd times, like midnight).
The glut of emotions, since this horror began, have been so intense,and conflicting .. one feels guilty, about feeling good, about anything...
My friend Marian, and her husband Brian ( EMS worker & Nurse)
went out to Dinner last night, trying to get a small measure of relief from the intense stress.. Brian has been working at the Staten Island Land Fill ( closed down last year reopened for this ) which is where they are taking everything picked up from ground zero..
Things have to be separated and labeled. Body parts found and separated from the rest ot the debris.. God help us.. Marian told me she felt guilty about feeling good, ( the one emotion that has been in short supply
lately!) I have felt numb since yesterday.. unable to cry any more (it seems, for the moment the well is dry) then I feel guilty about that! Knowing that We must move on, must try to reestablish some sort of normal activity schedule and life. It is hard.. just when you feel good, or laugh about something , you hear or see another tale of horror. ( A TALE OF TWIN TOWERS)
It does help to be doing something towards the effort. The yard sale for next weekend. ( the proceeds will go towards a disaster relief fund)
I made up a flier and put it all over the neighborhood. The reaction has been positive if I can get more people to contribute.? Maybe we can raise some real money. The President does seem to have a handle on this situation .. I don't think we have a choice.. We must fight this thing.. But this will be unlike any war the world has seen to date. We have to know the nature of the scorpion we are dealing with, or maybe it's more like a multi-headed hydra!!
Ben just came home.. he said the city is beginning to smell of death,It is like a giant open grave, and it will get worse before it gets better.
There is two or three miles of water between us and Manhattan..
Little by little bit by bit we will get through this. but in getting through it, I hope we never forget. This is a gentler, kinder, and more sober City now and apparently there has been less crime.. murders are down, domestic violence is down.. child abuse is down... there have been a lot more bomb threats though. It seems to have impacted a lot of businesses, large and small! From major airlines, to all of the small businesses in lower Manhattan ( below 14th street) that have been closed since it happened.. 20 thousand lay off's in United Airlines alone! so many people connected with finance worked in and around the Twin Towers.. we too , have had several cancellations of appointments in the past week.. a lot of the businesses that had offices in the twin towers, have moved out of state to N J or elsewhere .
I don't know when the dominos will stop falling..
God bless you and yours.
Love Bea
Mon Sept. 24rd. 2001 Hi Chanti Well the yard sale went so well .. I am going to do it again next Sunday!
we raised $210.75! I sold a couple of my prints, and an angel I have to get some more made up for next weekend. I am going into the city today for the first time since this horror happened .. I'll email you later .
Love Mom.
Mon. Sept. 24th. 2001
Well, the city is very strange now.. the military is all over the place you see soldiers in fatigues walking in groups, street corners and subway stations are very well policed now. especially the downtown area, and the mood is very subdued.. You know how New York has always had that kind of kinetic energy? well it's like the whole city had .. not just the air knocked out of it but, it's been wounded, horribly. and people are scared.
The other night we had a thunderstorm and there was an especially loud clap of thunder Ben woke up, and Shot out of bed.. he said his first thought, was that they sent a missile.. We are really trying to get back to normal, but I think it will take a long while, and things will never ever really feel safe again..
and it all still has the feeling of being on a movie set or a bad dream , we are just not waking up from.. So many things, are so radically altered..
and so heartbreaking.. I'll call you soon..
Love Mom
Tue's. Sept 11th 2001
Sorry you were so worried. I was not able to call you there , as a lot of phones were out. and I would get a very fast busy signal.. I did get through to Mom, and she called Laurie, so You more than likely Know by now that we are Alive. Ben spoke to Chantal But I have not been able to get through to her .. when I call there I get that fast busy signal.. So pass this on to everyone If you can We are as OK as we can be under the circumstances..
This is unfathomable ,It is to much too take in ... I have a fireman friend (Steve Olson) who is missing .. all we can do is pray. It touches all of our lives on such a profound level.. .... I was just in the World Trade Center yesterday ! I can't believe this.. Thousands of people thousands of lives..
this country will never be the same again. They came in through the back door and hit everyone .. not only physically, but on all other levels (at least, I believe their intent was to terrorize, but also to demoralize). That they were able to hit the Pentagon like that .. the linchpin of our security system. I had just arrived at work when I found out about it from Elaine,the owner's daughter, she called looking for her father. Her husband works next door to the World trade Center.. She was understandably pretty shaken up, as she couldn't reach him on his cell phone. He was OK fortunately, he , along with thousands of others walked home across the B'klyn bridge!
Steve, My employer could not get out of the city at all, all the cell phones were out.
I sat there at work at my drawing table, by myself all day, listening to the radio. I could not take it in. .. and it suddenly really hit me, about 2 o'clock .. before that it was too mind boggling to completely take in..
and I started to cry, and cry .. for all of the terrible pain ...
the radio is estimating it in excess of 10 thousand people .. Pearl Harbor had a little over 2 thousand killed!! I went into shock again when I finally got home, and actually saw the footage on television, and then I went down by the church and looked at the skyline of New York, and It was like the twilight zone. I was looking at another City ,it was not The New York city Skyline , but some other city ..
and this was not the USA but somewhere else.
Our hearts may be broken but our spirits will not be!!
Love Bea
Wen. Sept, 12th 2001 The terrible events yesterday were predicted in the bible ( Revelations)
and in the writings of a prophet named Ellen G. White, She lived and wrote
around 1890 she was given visions that described events, She wrote, (and I don't have a book here to quote exactly) " The tallest buildings would be hit by giant balls of fire from the sky and would fall into themselves as if made of matchsticks"
Events to come are really terrible, and we are like people in the days of the flood , we don't want to hear it. We want to go on with our lives and not listen to the prophecies that are coming true ... Myself included!
and when I think of my tiny little life in the grand scheme of things I understand a little better why the Bible says "All is Vanity" I believe we have to use everything we've got, everything God gave us, to fight this monstrous evil..
and pray for more strength than we have, because God is all powerful and knows the beginning and the end. In the final analysis our salvation depends on him.
although it's really hard to let go of the vanity and put it in Gods hands.
I am not at all strong without God, it( my own strength ) is all an illusion that I feed myself to get me through this life. I do a lot of things in my life that I know are wrong, and have in my past done many things that I know are wrong .. I try to live my life right but my strength is vanity. I know this is true.
Our only true hope is in our prayers for each other, and in God's grace.
Many people in recent years, (Especially), have been so self involved, and only concerned with their own pleasure and gain, me, me, me, even in their charity, and in supporting politicly correct causes, the driving motivation has been how they are viewed by others. Image rather than substance. I believe the reasons we do things are important. God is the one who sees our heart.
Please Pray for my friend, Steve Olson who is one of the hero firemen missing. Pray also for his wife and young children, one of his children is recovering from Cancer. Pray that she has the strength to deal with whatever she needs to deal with, those in such terrible pain need our prayers.
Love Bea.
May God help us all. Amen.
Thurs. Sept. 13th. 2001 You have such a good heart.. My sweet niece .I see that. I know if you were here you would be right in the center of things .. from choice not because you had to be. I don't think things will ever be normal here again !
At least not normal in the sense of being the same as they were. I doubt that there are many people in New York, or even the tri State area, who do not know someone. who was lost. They are talking full scale war now..
part of me wants to get as far away from New York as humanly possible.
(which,with all of the lock downs isn't very far these days) and the other part wants to fight!! I just think that most people do not have any Idea, really of who we are dealing with.. The totally alien thought process that brought this whole thing about.. I believe, these people have had many years in which to hone their skills in psychologically demoralizing techniques. They are masters at the subtle and not so subtle twists such as using our own planes to attack us, training their suicide pilots in our country! Twisting the meaning of freedom and democracy into an ugly weapon to use against us!
Laughing at us while they Kill thousands of defenseless people!! and the scariest part is the complete lack of respect for any life including their own. This was planned for many years.. I heard a rumor , I don't know if it is true, but I heard that just before the attacks there were no cabs at all in the area of the twin towers. Food for thought if its true.??? ?And if the cab drivers knew.. why didn't the CIA? ??
They want to use our own openness , freedom and belief system against us ...
I believe that they are not afraid of retaliation, this is what they want..
they want to plunge us into a totally chaotic 3rd world war. They believe, they are on a holy mission and are being directed by God !! therefor they have no fear of death, and no wish to preserve life on earth. They only want to be around long enough to destroy every one .. that to me is really scary.
I am so filled with conflicting emotions, and struggling so hard to think clearly . Feeling such deep Pain for those lost, and those left behind in pain, shock, terror and confusion ( NOT HELPLESSNESS ) we are not helpless.
I personally feel jagged, my pain is fresher , because of my own resent horrendous losses) I write about my feelings because its easier for me to write than it is to articulate and it is my own personal way of organizing my mixed up emotions and dealing with things. That and Prayer... God help us All.... The only good thing that came out of this is the way that people are rallying to help one another, and boost moral. Everyone it seems , is doing everything they can, to help out and aid the victims and their familles..
and all of the people working so tirelessly at the site to try to save lives..
if they can. I am only an artist, such a superficial skill in a time like this, When all priorities change. Candle light vigil tomorrow night at
7 EST throughout the country!!
love Bea
Sept. 14th 2001
I just came in a few minutes ago, it was heart warming to see how many people were outside for the candlelight vigil! . Ben has Volunteered, he has been unable to get into the city to work. there is still no ferry service except for emergency personnel. He is helping to organize and distribute supplies for the fire fighters etc., blankets, flashlights, socks, gloves, canine food, etc. It feels good to be able to do something to help out.
Everyone feel like they want to do something. (I have racked my brain to find ways I can help in this crisis) Then I thought of all of the things I have in the basement, a lot of Cameron's Books, CDs, games, toys, My huge drafting table ( which is wonderful but too big for the apt! ) and other things. So .. I am trying to organize a yard sale to raise money for victims families. After Cameron died, other than his personal things, I don't wish to keep anything,, His death was so painful to Us) I think Cameron would like that his things are being sold for this cause . I work here on Staten Island so don't have the commuting problem, ???I have been able to continue working all week, by the way my new hrs are Tues. Through Sat. I have Sunday and Mondays off. I hope I can get it all organized for this coming week.
Thank You for your prayers, they help. God bless you and keep you safe.
Love Bea
Mon. Sept. 17th.
I have sat here, and cried and cried as I watched and listened to the horrors unfold on TV and radio,(I'd almost rather not see it). I can't imagine what it must be like for those that must deal on a daily basis, with sorting through the rubble separating body parts from twisted metal... a different kind of strength.. (than I feel I have ).
We have neighbors (in our building) who are dealing directly with it..
an EMS worker, a Nurse, and an FBI agent.. all of whom had been working double shifts for the first few days, The FBI agent still is. I haven't seen her in days, (just heard her, getting ready to leave for work noises, at odd times, like midnight).
The glut of emotions, since this horror began, have been so intense,and conflicting .. one feels guilty, about feeling good, about anything...
My friend Marian, and her husband Brian ( EMS worker & Nurse)
went out to Dinner last night, trying to get a small measure of relief from the intense stress.. Brian has been working at the Staten Island Land Fill ( closed down last year reopened for this ) which is where they are taking everything picked up from ground zero..
Things have to be separated and labeled. Body parts found and separated from the rest ot the debris.. God help us.. Marian told me she felt guilty about feeling good, ( the one emotion that has been in short supply
lately!) I have felt numb since yesterday.. unable to cry any more (it seems, for the moment the well is dry) then I feel guilty about that! Knowing that We must move on, must try to reestablish some sort of normal activity schedule and life. It is hard.. just when you feel good, or laugh about something , you hear or see another tale of horror. ( A TALE OF TWIN TOWERS)
It does help to be doing something towards the effort. The yard sale for next weekend. ( the proceeds will go towards a disaster relief fund)
I made up a flier and put it all over the neighborhood. The reaction has been positive if I can get more people to contribute.? Maybe we can raise some real money. The President does seem to have a handle on this situation .. I don't think we have a choice.. We must fight this thing.. But this will be unlike any war the world has seen to date. We have to know the nature of the scorpion we are dealing with, or maybe it's more like a multi-headed hydra!!
Ben just came home.. he said the city is beginning to smell of death,It is like a giant open grave, and it will get worse before it gets better.
There is two or three miles of water between us and Manhattan..
Little by little bit by bit we will get through this. but in getting through it, I hope we never forget. This is a gentler, kinder, and more sober City now and apparently there has been less crime.. murders are down, domestic violence is down.. child abuse is down... there have been a lot more bomb threats though. It seems to have impacted a lot of businesses, large and small! From major airlines, to all of the small businesses in lower Manhattan ( below 14th street) that have been closed since it happened.. 20 thousand lay off's in United Airlines alone! so many people connected with finance worked in and around the Twin Towers.. we too , have had several cancellations of appointments in the past week.. a lot of the businesses that had offices in the twin towers, have moved out of state to N J or elsewhere .
I don't know when the dominos will stop falling..
God bless you and yours.
Love Bea
Mon Sept. 24rd. 2001 Hi Chanti Well the yard sale went so well .. I am going to do it again next Sunday!
we raised $210.75! I sold a couple of my prints, and an angel I have to get some more made up for next weekend. I am going into the city today for the first time since this horror happened .. I'll email you later .
Love Mom.
Mon. Sept. 24th. 2001
Well, the city is very strange now.. the military is all over the place you see soldiers in fatigues walking in groups, street corners and subway stations are very well policed now. especially the downtown area, and the mood is very subdued.. You know how New York has always had that kind of kinetic energy? well it's like the whole city had .. not just the air knocked out of it but, it's been wounded, horribly. and people are scared.
The other night we had a thunderstorm and there was an especially loud clap of thunder Ben woke up, and Shot out of bed.. he said his first thought, was that they sent a missile.. We are really trying to get back to normal, but I think it will take a long while, and things will never ever really feel safe again..
and it all still has the feeling of being on a movie set or a bad dream , we are just not waking up from.. So many things, are so radically altered..
and so heartbreaking.. I'll call you soon..
Love Mom
RC Story: Response
Held two Yard Sales to raise money.
RC Story: RC Volunteer
no
RC Story: RC Employee
no
Collection
Citation
“rc_story6.xml,” September 11 Digital Archive, accessed May 4, 2024, https://911digitalarchive.org/items/show/434.