nmah751.xml

nmah751.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-03

I was at work at the state capitol. We have CNN online, so very soon after the first plane hit the first tower, people were in the hallway, pale-faced and stricken, saying, "Turn on CNN! The World Trade Center has been hit by a plane!" I turned it on, and watched in disbelief, thinking, "How could any pilot NOT see the WTC????" And just moments later, as I watched, with chills going down my spine and the hair on the back of my neck rising, I watched as the second plane deliberately banked towards the tower. I watched it enter the building and the fireball rise. It was hard for me to breathe, and there were tears in my eyes, but I could not tear myself away from the horrific scene in front of me, nor keep the wall of panic from rising inside of me. In the background of my mind, I heard co-workers crying, one woman screamed "What is HAPPENING to us??!!!?!?!" I called my husband, who was at home getting ready for work. I told him to turn on the television. We both didn't say anything as we watched the events unfold in front of us. Soon our offices were shut down for security purposes, and I drove home in stunned silence. My husband and I watched the TV as the towers crumbled into dust; watched the inferno at the the Pentagon; witnessed the devastation of Flight 93 in Pennsylvania. We watched for hours, just holding each other, and then holding my daughter when she came home from school. That night I prayed. I try to pray every night. But that night my words and thoughts endlessly mingled with my tears, and as much I needed it, and prayed for it, the peace I sought didn't come.

Yes. I'm not so sure of our future, not my family's, nor our country's. There is a ever-present frisson of fear in my heart. I gained a new respect for American humanity as I watched all the heroes step up to the plate, the common unity of our nation without regard to much of the usual bigotry, the great outpouring of prayers, money, and love. I watched with incredulity the dancing of people in the street in countries we've helped and fought for. I watched with gratitude the candles being lighted and our flag flying in other countries as they mourned with us. I will not be able to put my teenage daughter on a flight by herself to visit her father, as unreasonable as that might be. I could not stand the thought of her being alone, should the unthinkable again happen. Sometimes I hope that the Navy will call me up to join them again if they need me, even though it would mean family separation and a lot less money. I conciously try to be kinder in my thoughts and actions, and try to always see the other point of view. I hate the way I hesitate when I see someone of middle-eastern descent. I don't understand why we are hated so much. It hurts me to know that some see our country as condescending, pushy, immoral and currupt.

That we should never, ever forget it. We shouldn't whine about the long lines at the airport, or that our privacy may be violated. We should always keep our door and hearts open to those that need us, but still be more vigilant in guarding our shores, even tightening our policies regarding immigration. We should expect more from our citizens, and those that benefit from our immigration programs. We should not become complacent, nor allow our government to become complacent. We should remember the fear, the confusion, the terror of that day. And if we do that, then maybe we can prevent it from happening again. Here, or anywhere in the world. I think that we should remember to pray for world peace every single day.

Partly because my husband and I are both veterans,we've always had an American Flag out during Memorial Day and the Fourth of July, but now it's a constant thing. I hope that people stick with it, continue to show their pride in our country by flying our colors. Our home (as well as others) was shown during the local news shortly after the 11th because of the large and small flags we had displayed, and I was SO proud.