September 11 Digital Archive

email57.xml

Title

email57.xml

Source

born-digital

Media Type

email

Created by Author

unknown

Described by Author

yes

Date Entered

2002-03-11

September 11 Email: Body

Hello professor XXX,

I am writing to inform you that as of next week-if there aren't anymore terrorist attacks-I will be reinstated into school for the rest of the semester.  I am still on alert, and my next call from the national guard will be possibly be to be gone "indefinite" as my orders say.  

Professor, I want to update you of my situation.  Since we (my unit) were the first ones on the scene, and the last to leave from the initial forces there, we saw a lot of things that that to many of us became traumatizing.  

A crisis management group came to speak to us and determined-from us being exposed to body parts, and the aftermath of such a horrific event-that we are going through traumatic stress reaction.  It is a very emotional time for me; I get very emotional when talking about the things I saw and did out there in ground zero.  I am supposed to talk about it and accept the emotions, but can't because I don't want to traumatize my family.

Today I experienced a flashback, where I thought I was back out on the Manhattan streets and spoke to my mother as if she was a soldier whom I was asking about our status and war situation; she left the room scared and reacted to it by making me hot chocolate to drink.  I am having trouble sleeping, because I hear people screaming when I close my eyes, I can't sleep alone, and out there I rested for 15 minutes a night where I laid down armed with a knife.

If I experience a flashback, please be very patient and excuse me.  If you feel offended, or "weird" from my being emotional by speaking, then I understand if you want me to stay away.  I fear that people my think that I am crazy.

I am so happy to come back to my beloved thematics program, and want to thank you and all the thematic studies professors at John Jay College for your support in this difficult situation.  When I speak of you and some of the professors to my friends or family, I speak of you guys (especially you) as if you were family.

PS Would you mind if I spoke to you because I really need to speak to someone about this.  Please don't think I am crazy.

September 11 Email: Date

Sept 17 2001

September 11 Email: Subject

Need to talk to someone

Citation

“email57.xml,” September 11 Digital Archive, accessed June 29, 2024, https://911digitalarchive.org/items/show/37132.