September 11 Digital Archive

1723.pjpeg

ProudToBeAnAmerican.jpg

Title

1723.pjpeg

Description

Hello,

I came to your Web site this morning and was delighted to find that someone took the time to gather and preserve images, content, emotions and materials from 9-11.

It's been hard for some of us to deal with the pain and loss, some people can deal with the pain in an more immediate manner and others it takes longer. I was in the ladder. We were trained to deal with the problem at hand and take whatever measures needed to resolve the emergency. However, we weren't trained to deal with the pain, so we avoid it.

On the morning of 9-11, I woke up (west coast time) to see the smoke raising from the 1st tower and telling my wife that I had thought an Air Traffic Control problem had taken place. Then about 9 minutes later seeing the 2nd plane crash, I was in shock, I was helpless.

I stayed glued to the television for the next day and a half, sleeping intermittently when I could. It all happened so quick it seemed. Watching the President, The Pentagon, hearing the story of the PA flight, watching the buildings fall. The pain of seeing people jumping, the emergency crews at work and then their losses. Oh my God it was so hard to deal with it all.

It was harder to know that my wife, an RN had to get bits and pieces of information when she could and her origin from another country had to feel so scared, because her country has never known terror in her life time. On 9-11, she would call home to get information/ updates and I could hear in her voice the fear and then quit sobbing.

I and all of us, dealt with it. We're American's, it's our job to deal with tragedy and to handle it.

It took me some months to express my pain after the initial ordeal. In Jan. '02, I started taking all of the images I had from newspapers, e-mails and news clips and using it, I found a way to better express the pain I so deeply felt. I created a simple 800x600 background and I felt that wasn't enough. Feeling unsatisfied, as a result of the sorrow and as a tribute to that day, the people, the dead and the living - we created a screensaver, "Proud to be an American."

It has nothing fancy, it's not of the caliber of some of the other flash submissions you have on file, but it's from the heart. It took a while to finish it. I cried many times at certain points while trying to complete it. I showed it to my family and to some friends and they could see the pain I felt and at least for those moments I felt like I was able to convey the pain I feel though this avenue, better then spoken words. All the words had been used up by every media outlet and none of them could identify my individual feelings, and just complicated how I felt. Every time I did try to convey my pain, every word had been used already.

My wife and I would like to submit the two; 800x600 background image and screensaver to you with maybe hopes of it being attached to your works honoring 9-11 and being our contribution to the archives.

Source

unknown

Media Type

still image

Original Name

ProudToBeAnAmerican.jpg

Created by Author

yes

Described by Author

yes

Date Entered

2002-10-28

Citation

“1723.pjpeg,” September 11 Digital Archive, accessed June 23, 2024, https://911digitalarchive.org/items/show/36583.