story6642.xml

story6642.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-12

ON THAT SEPT.MORNING I WAS WATCHING THE NEWS TAKING MY LIFE FOR GRANTED AND BEING ANGRY THAT MY BOYS DID NOT BEHAVE.
I CRIED,FROZE HELD MY BREATH AND DEMANDED ANSWERS FROM EVERYONE...AT FIRST I TOOK THIS PERSONAL...THEN AS THE DAY WENT ON I FELT HELPLESS,USELESS AND THEN WAITED..AND WATCHED.
I LEARNED THAT DAY,,I CHANGED THAT DAY,,
I DONT TAKE MY LIFE FOR GRANTED ,I'M NOT ANGRY AT MY BOYS FOR ACTING UP ANY MORE .WE JUST WORK IT OUT.I'VE COME TO RELIZE THAT ALTHOUGH EACH INDIVIDUAL PERSON IS IMPORTANT ,
IT'S "WE" OR "US" OR "ALL OF US" THATS MOST IMPORTANT.


I WROTE THIS IN AN UNPOSTED WEB SITE . IT OF COURSE HAS PICTURES THAT I DID NOT ADD HERE BECAUSE SOME OF THEM ARE FROM THE NEWS POSTS AND THEY ARE NOT MINE TO ADD HERE. THE OTHERS ARE OF MY BOYS AND FAMILY THAT I WOULD LOVE TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD BUT IM NOT SURE ITS OK.SO I KEEP IT FOR MY FAMILY.
I FEEL THAT THIS WORLD IS FOR OLD PEOPLE AND LITTLE ONES AND US IN THE MIDDLE ARE HERE TO HOLD IT UP AND KEEP IT MOVING . I AM HEART BROKEN AND FRIGHTEND BECAUSE SOMEONE OR A GROUP OF "SOMEONES" THINK THAT THE WORLD IS THEIRS AND THAT THEIR BELEIFS ARE THE RIGHT ONES....SO TO TAKE A LIFE OR MANY LIVES AS THEY DID ON SEPTEMBER 11 OF LAST YEAR IS A VICTORY ....NAAAH!!!!!!VICTORY WILL BE WHEN IN LIFE THOSE WHO DID THIS STAND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND LEARN THE MEANING OF " UNITED STATES " AND IN DEATH THEY FACE WHO EVER IS THEIR GOD AND LEARN THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE...
I STATED THINGS THIS WAY BECAUSE I AM AN AMERICAN AND I KNOW THAT AS A PERSON THESE THEIVES OF LIFE ARE INTITLED TO THE GOD THEY BELEIVE IN...
I AM 47 YEARS OLD AND MY STORY IS THAT I AM ALIVE, I AM AN AMERICAN AND I WILL HOLD MY HEAD HIGH PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER WITH MY HEART IN ONE HAND AND MY OTHER HAND REACHING OUT TO LEND A HELPING HAND , OR TO HOLD ANOTHER.



so what is new :

this is.... at least I like to think it is...
never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that something like this could happen . these things happen in the minds of people who write scripts for movies..
my friend and I were talking and the subject came up about the terrorists and the hate that came spewing out of my friends mouth was as foul as the act of terrorism itself..
the morning of 9/11 I watched this unfolding on channel 4 and wanted to fall to my knees and ask for forgiveness for all. I never realized I could feel that way .
I love different cultures and the differences in people. I believe it's what makes the world turn. keep things on an even keel so to speak.
my next statement is something I thought about and ridiculed myself for having these thoughts. If we were all created the same then maybe war would not happen ...................
I'm very wrong . and I know this because of my own boy's .
one night the older boy was teasing the little one and it turned into a full fledged fight over a pair of dirty socks....
who could ever think that 2 human beings would fight over something so petty .
h'mmm did I say petty oh!!! well this is my breaking point !!!!!!!! enough I yelled and took the socks away , now both boys are being lousy beasts and I'm cursing at them . as I'm sitting here typing I ask myself who am i. where do I come off saying that the dirty socks are petty .



as stories break in the media I think how stupid is this.....
well again I'm wrong....this is not stupidity . I don't know what it is but as things go stupid is not standing up and taking a bow for this .

this looks like a picture from another country and another era . not 2001 in the united states .my grandmother always told me to look for the good in everything O.K. I'll give it a shot....... there's a human giving yes giving a helping hand..or maybe some reassuring words .what ever is going on it seems that there is one person there for another so with that in mind I would like to say
thank you
for being with each other.
I don't know who this man is the only thing I do know about him is he is a fire man , he was at the world trade center that day along with all the other firemen , police , and every other person who suffers this on a hands on basis . I really can't even think of a way to put it into words . bless him .AND I thank him and all of the others from the very pit of my soul .


I received this in an email. a beautiful perfect baby right ? well this baby is sick. and she needs help. and god willing she will get what she needs and will live a happy healthy normal life. but what will be "normal" when she grows up ??? what are we leaving her and all the other children ?

all I know is when I say my little silent prayer for her it is for more than one reason and I ask her forgiveness now......
these are my guys
the 4 of us are learning to live together. its been pretty tough . my little ones are "picked babies ". it doesn't mean we don't love each other it just means these 2 charming children live like they are an "only" child in a house of 2 children .

and my husband
this man has made me the luckiest woman in the world .in fact alive . he is everything to me ."life" "touch" "reason" "sanity" even a little insanity. Everything I exist for is because of him .or at least because he loves me . just writing this bring a smile to my lips .





oh these 2 the bigger one is my natural son . I gave him life but then he gave me life . We've shared an awful lot of things. I cannot even think of life with out him . from day one he has been a pleasure . warm , loving , a thrill to go through the years with . I can honestly say that he got the hang of growing up right the 1st time . Michael Brian , you are the foundation of my life and it has been an absolute pleasure . thank you for being my son .

oh boy!!! my red headed wonder . my 1st picked baby . you have been a thrill . a lesson in love , tolerance and new horizons . I never new the meaning of hope , will power or the light side of life till I held you . you are the sparkle in my heart the force in my drive and the warmth that carries me every day .I think without I would have gone through life a little bit angry . thank you for being my son Michael Vincent .



oh puss my 3rd child and 2nd picked baby. oh honey have you been a lesson in emotions . much different than anything I ever experienced in my life .David without you one foot would not go in front of the other.baby you are the challenge of a lifetime . and you can challenge me everyday as long as you keep loving me in your special way . puss your it . I knew this the day you were born . petite , and sweet . we all know that your not that little anymore your our beast . but your still sweet . your my reason to walk and talk. you Put the fight back in me . David , thank you for being my "baby" I need you. without you I don't go forward . your my push ,love , and my gift in life . thank you for loving me.


All my physical being and emotional being goes into "hoping" that this is not the beginning of what we are leaving you .I am in awe of all the children of their new lives . and I pray that they are smarter than those that came before them .
I pray that forgiveness and reason are a daily practice