story737.xml
Title
story737.xml
Source
born-digital
Media Type
story
Date Entered
2002-06-06
911DA Story: Story
Like most people in America, and the world,I watched the events of September 11th unfold on television. I awoke to see the World Trade Center on fire. I knew I wouldn't be going to my job that day. After hearing that the Pentagon had been hit by a plane I had only one emotion: terror. I really feared for my life, not knowing what would happen next. After watching both towers collapse, I went totally numb.I saw the smoke in the sky from my house, and worse I could smell it. It smelled like death.I had no feelings whatsoever for the rest of the day. I knew life was going to be totally different from now on.
My father is a retired firefighter in the FDNY, and hearing that more than 300 firemen could be dead hit me very hard. I have known firefighters my whole life, and they are among the bravest of the brave. The first estimates of the dead were close to 10,000, and that was a number so incredibly hard to bear. But absolutely nothing could prepare me for the most devastating, shocking news that I was about to get on the night of September 12th.
On the day of the 12th, I rode the Manhattan Bridge over the river from Brooklyn. I saw the smoldering remains of the WTC from the subway, and my first thoughts were that I felt as if I had a couple of old friends. I went to school in the shadow of the WTC, and worked in Greenwich Village since 1984. So seeing those buildings was such a common occurrance for me, that not seeing them was absolutely surreal. It still is.
I still had a nagging feeling that someone I know was lost in those buildings. But I tried not to think about that. But on the night of the 12th, my worst fears were confirmed. I received an e-mail from an old friend of mine who informed me that a dear friend of mine named Joyce Ann Carpeneto was missing in the World Trade Center. I went all numb again. I tried to convince myself that Joyce was fine, in a hospital somewhere and just hadn't gotten word to her family yet. I called my old friend and he told me not to give up hope. I did my best. For the remainder of the week I prayed, lit candles and asked God for a miracle. I still had no word yet by Sunday, so I called my friend back. He told me he had heard nothing. At the moment I knew Joyce didn't make it. The numbness returned again.
Joyce worked on the 83rd floor of the North Tower in a company called General Telecom. None of us are exactly sure why she didn't make it out. There were 4 other firms on that floor, and everyone in those firms made it out of the building alive. All 13 people in General Telecom were killed. None of their remains have ever been found.
One week later a friend of mine sent me the address to a website that Joyce's mom had set up for information about her whereabouts. It contained a stunning picture of Joyce, and the moment I saw it, I broke down and cried for about 2 minutes. It was the hardest I had cried in about 30 years. It was the first time I had let out my emotions since the tragedy unfolded.
Over the next few weeks, myself and many of Joyce's longtime friends had a brunch, and a Halloween party, both in her memory. They were both bittersweet occasions. I wanted to be around people who knew and loved Joyce. On October 20th I saw Ground Zero for the first time. The devastation was absolutely beyond words. Fortunately I had three friends with me there to lean on. After we viewed the site my friends and I stopped a few blocks away and I read a memorial that I had written in Joyce's memory. My friends were very touched, and one of them I wanted me to e-mail a copy of it to her. I did, and little did I realize, but it hopped all over the Internet. I received dozens of e-mails from people who were so moved by it. I heard from people who didn't even know me, but knew Joyce and saw the tribute I wrote for her.But something even more incredible was about to occur.
On November 25th I went to Ground Zero for the 4th time, this time with a friend of mine named Deborah Burton. It was a very emotional day for the both of us. This was an experience that would be stamped on my brain forever. After this I remember telling Deborah that I had more to write about Joyce, but I didn't know in what form. On New Year's Night, it came out of me, in the form of poetry. I wrote a poem called "There's an Angel Watching Over Us", based on our trip of November 25th. It was just my heartfelt words about that day, and about Joyce. I had no idea the amazing things that were about to happen to me.
One week later I decided that I would leave the poem in my poetry book, and not send it to anyone. A few people would see it and that would be it. Two days later I received an e-mail from poetry.com, about posting poetry on their site. I never received an e-mail from them before but I went to their site, and something told me to post it in their September 11th Dedication Poems section. I did, and entered it in their January poetry contest. I didn't win anything, but I was picked as a semi-finalist in the contest.
I also posted the poem at September11victims.com, in their poems section. After I did, I received an e-mail from a 14-year-old girl in Missouri named Erica Spiess, who asked me for my permission to read my poem in her school's speech contest. I was so touched by it, tears came to my eyes. I said yes, and she also asked me for more information about Joyce, as she wanted to do an introduction about Joyce. Well, she read the poem in May and won a fourth place trophy, and was asked to read it to two 5th grade classes. She said it moved everyone who heard it.I also heard from a 15-year-old girl in upstate New York who read my poem and memorial to her art class, and she also everyone was moved by them.
Also in January I went to a rally at the Park Avenue Armory for the WTC Victims Families. That was a very moving rally, with Mayor Bloomberg and Governor Pataki there. I wore a Mets hat to it with a message for Joyce on the back of it: "Joyce, You Are Forever In My Heart". A photographer from Newsday took a picture of it, and it appeared on page A7 on January 18th. I was so moved by it, and I have a copy of the photo. It is framed and will stay with me forever.
I have received so many touching and moving e-mails about my poem. Dozens of people from the USA and Canada have told me how beautiful and moving it is. Many people who read it who didn't know Joyce have told me, "I wish I could have known her". One lady from California wrote to me and said, "I'm better for having read your poem" and a man in Toronto told me, "The beauty and warmth of you and your poem help to reming me and make me appreciate the beauty that is inside many people". Hearing things like that has really helped me get throught this horrific experience.
In March a man in Greenwich Village who saw my poem and memorial wrote to me thanking me for helping me "connect" him to Joyce. He also suggested that I send my poem to New York Historical Society. I did, and the curators were so touched by it and my memorial that they will both be a part of an exhibit that will debut in September 2003 called "Unfinished Lives", along with the Mets hat with the message for Joyce.
I have also posted my poem at the mural at the Union Square subway station, at the Ground Zero Memorial, and at Penn Station and Grand Central Station. Any place where people can read it. Right after I posted it at Ground Zero, a man went right over and read it intensely. He then walked over to me, and without saying a word, shook my hand and walked away. I could tell in his eyes he had lost someone, and I was so moved by that touching gesture.
This has been without question the most incredible experience of my entire life. I never could have imagined something wonderful coming out of such a catastrophic event. I am convinced beyond any doubt that the original e-mail from poetry.com was somehow "directed" to me by Joyce. I believe she wanted the world to see this beautiful poem I had written for her. I also believe that she keeping an eye on all of us who love her. Joyce will forever be Our Angel. She was one of the sweetest people I have ever known, and I hope I have made her proud with my poem. I did not want her to be just a name on a memorial someplace. She made an impact on everyone who knew her, and I wanted to remind the world that she was here. Her mom said it best on her website: "If you knew her, you had to be her friend. She loves everyone."
And all of us love you Joyce. Forever.
As I conclude this story, I would like to share my poem, "There's an Angel Watching Over Us" with you. I welcome any comments you may have. God bless you all.
John Brian Quinn
Brooklyn, NY
Salesicon@aol.com
"There's an Angel Watching Over Us"
This poem is dedicated to my dear sweet friend Joyce Ann Carpeneto, who will always and forever live in my heart.
It's a gray, overcast day
In late November
The fourth time I've been
Down this way
The pain in my heart rises
As soon as I walk out
The subway station
But I had to be here for you
I'm not afraid to be here
As I know
There's an Angel watching over us.
Our eyes fill with tears
Pictures line the walls
And the picket fences
Thousands of dreams
Shattered in an instant
A soft rain starts to fall
Could it have been sent
By you?
To show us both
The depth of your love
And the tears still within you
It's an unmistakable sign
There's an Angel watching over us.
Loved ones write their own
Words of sorrow and grief
On a huge makeshift sheet
I struggle through my tears
To tell you those precious words
I couldn't tell you
When you were here
In this life
Now the rain and the tears
Have left together
And the sun peeks
Through the clouds
Now I am so confident
There's an Angel watching over us.
I've been down this way
Three times before
But this will be the final
Time I come down here
The heartache for me
Is just too great
Seeing that terrible site
Where you left this world
I'd rather remember
The good times we shared
You'll always be
Safe in my heart Sweetie
I'll never break
The Promise I made to you
On the Brooklyn Bridge
You'll always be alive
In my heart forever
I'll never be afraid to die
Because I'll see you again
One day I know
And because from above
There'a an Angel watching over me.
January 2, 2002
John Brian Quinn
Salesicon@aol.com
My father is a retired firefighter in the FDNY, and hearing that more than 300 firemen could be dead hit me very hard. I have known firefighters my whole life, and they are among the bravest of the brave. The first estimates of the dead were close to 10,000, and that was a number so incredibly hard to bear. But absolutely nothing could prepare me for the most devastating, shocking news that I was about to get on the night of September 12th.
On the day of the 12th, I rode the Manhattan Bridge over the river from Brooklyn. I saw the smoldering remains of the WTC from the subway, and my first thoughts were that I felt as if I had a couple of old friends. I went to school in the shadow of the WTC, and worked in Greenwich Village since 1984. So seeing those buildings was such a common occurrance for me, that not seeing them was absolutely surreal. It still is.
I still had a nagging feeling that someone I know was lost in those buildings. But I tried not to think about that. But on the night of the 12th, my worst fears were confirmed. I received an e-mail from an old friend of mine who informed me that a dear friend of mine named Joyce Ann Carpeneto was missing in the World Trade Center. I went all numb again. I tried to convince myself that Joyce was fine, in a hospital somewhere and just hadn't gotten word to her family yet. I called my old friend and he told me not to give up hope. I did my best. For the remainder of the week I prayed, lit candles and asked God for a miracle. I still had no word yet by Sunday, so I called my friend back. He told me he had heard nothing. At the moment I knew Joyce didn't make it. The numbness returned again.
Joyce worked on the 83rd floor of the North Tower in a company called General Telecom. None of us are exactly sure why she didn't make it out. There were 4 other firms on that floor, and everyone in those firms made it out of the building alive. All 13 people in General Telecom were killed. None of their remains have ever been found.
One week later a friend of mine sent me the address to a website that Joyce's mom had set up for information about her whereabouts. It contained a stunning picture of Joyce, and the moment I saw it, I broke down and cried for about 2 minutes. It was the hardest I had cried in about 30 years. It was the first time I had let out my emotions since the tragedy unfolded.
Over the next few weeks, myself and many of Joyce's longtime friends had a brunch, and a Halloween party, both in her memory. They were both bittersweet occasions. I wanted to be around people who knew and loved Joyce. On October 20th I saw Ground Zero for the first time. The devastation was absolutely beyond words. Fortunately I had three friends with me there to lean on. After we viewed the site my friends and I stopped a few blocks away and I read a memorial that I had written in Joyce's memory. My friends were very touched, and one of them I wanted me to e-mail a copy of it to her. I did, and little did I realize, but it hopped all over the Internet. I received dozens of e-mails from people who were so moved by it. I heard from people who didn't even know me, but knew Joyce and saw the tribute I wrote for her.But something even more incredible was about to occur.
On November 25th I went to Ground Zero for the 4th time, this time with a friend of mine named Deborah Burton. It was a very emotional day for the both of us. This was an experience that would be stamped on my brain forever. After this I remember telling Deborah that I had more to write about Joyce, but I didn't know in what form. On New Year's Night, it came out of me, in the form of poetry. I wrote a poem called "There's an Angel Watching Over Us", based on our trip of November 25th. It was just my heartfelt words about that day, and about Joyce. I had no idea the amazing things that were about to happen to me.
One week later I decided that I would leave the poem in my poetry book, and not send it to anyone. A few people would see it and that would be it. Two days later I received an e-mail from poetry.com, about posting poetry on their site. I never received an e-mail from them before but I went to their site, and something told me to post it in their September 11th Dedication Poems section. I did, and entered it in their January poetry contest. I didn't win anything, but I was picked as a semi-finalist in the contest.
I also posted the poem at September11victims.com, in their poems section. After I did, I received an e-mail from a 14-year-old girl in Missouri named Erica Spiess, who asked me for my permission to read my poem in her school's speech contest. I was so touched by it, tears came to my eyes. I said yes, and she also asked me for more information about Joyce, as she wanted to do an introduction about Joyce. Well, she read the poem in May and won a fourth place trophy, and was asked to read it to two 5th grade classes. She said it moved everyone who heard it.I also heard from a 15-year-old girl in upstate New York who read my poem and memorial to her art class, and she also everyone was moved by them.
Also in January I went to a rally at the Park Avenue Armory for the WTC Victims Families. That was a very moving rally, with Mayor Bloomberg and Governor Pataki there. I wore a Mets hat to it with a message for Joyce on the back of it: "Joyce, You Are Forever In My Heart". A photographer from Newsday took a picture of it, and it appeared on page A7 on January 18th. I was so moved by it, and I have a copy of the photo. It is framed and will stay with me forever.
I have received so many touching and moving e-mails about my poem. Dozens of people from the USA and Canada have told me how beautiful and moving it is. Many people who read it who didn't know Joyce have told me, "I wish I could have known her". One lady from California wrote to me and said, "I'm better for having read your poem" and a man in Toronto told me, "The beauty and warmth of you and your poem help to reming me and make me appreciate the beauty that is inside many people". Hearing things like that has really helped me get throught this horrific experience.
In March a man in Greenwich Village who saw my poem and memorial wrote to me thanking me for helping me "connect" him to Joyce. He also suggested that I send my poem to New York Historical Society. I did, and the curators were so touched by it and my memorial that they will both be a part of an exhibit that will debut in September 2003 called "Unfinished Lives", along with the Mets hat with the message for Joyce.
I have also posted my poem at the mural at the Union Square subway station, at the Ground Zero Memorial, and at Penn Station and Grand Central Station. Any place where people can read it. Right after I posted it at Ground Zero, a man went right over and read it intensely. He then walked over to me, and without saying a word, shook my hand and walked away. I could tell in his eyes he had lost someone, and I was so moved by that touching gesture.
This has been without question the most incredible experience of my entire life. I never could have imagined something wonderful coming out of such a catastrophic event. I am convinced beyond any doubt that the original e-mail from poetry.com was somehow "directed" to me by Joyce. I believe she wanted the world to see this beautiful poem I had written for her. I also believe that she keeping an eye on all of us who love her. Joyce will forever be Our Angel. She was one of the sweetest people I have ever known, and I hope I have made her proud with my poem. I did not want her to be just a name on a memorial someplace. She made an impact on everyone who knew her, and I wanted to remind the world that she was here. Her mom said it best on her website: "If you knew her, you had to be her friend. She loves everyone."
And all of us love you Joyce. Forever.
As I conclude this story, I would like to share my poem, "There's an Angel Watching Over Us" with you. I welcome any comments you may have. God bless you all.
John Brian Quinn
Brooklyn, NY
Salesicon@aol.com
"There's an Angel Watching Over Us"
This poem is dedicated to my dear sweet friend Joyce Ann Carpeneto, who will always and forever live in my heart.
It's a gray, overcast day
In late November
The fourth time I've been
Down this way
The pain in my heart rises
As soon as I walk out
The subway station
But I had to be here for you
I'm not afraid to be here
As I know
There's an Angel watching over us.
Our eyes fill with tears
Pictures line the walls
And the picket fences
Thousands of dreams
Shattered in an instant
A soft rain starts to fall
Could it have been sent
By you?
To show us both
The depth of your love
And the tears still within you
It's an unmistakable sign
There's an Angel watching over us.
Loved ones write their own
Words of sorrow and grief
On a huge makeshift sheet
I struggle through my tears
To tell you those precious words
I couldn't tell you
When you were here
In this life
Now the rain and the tears
Have left together
And the sun peeks
Through the clouds
Now I am so confident
There's an Angel watching over us.
I've been down this way
Three times before
But this will be the final
Time I come down here
The heartache for me
Is just too great
Seeing that terrible site
Where you left this world
I'd rather remember
The good times we shared
You'll always be
Safe in my heart Sweetie
I'll never break
The Promise I made to you
On the Brooklyn Bridge
You'll always be alive
In my heart forever
I'll never be afraid to die
Because I'll see you again
One day I know
And because from above
There'a an Angel watching over me.
January 2, 2002
John Brian Quinn
Salesicon@aol.com
Collection
Citation
“story737.xml,” September 11 Digital Archive, accessed January 11, 2025, https://911digitalarchive.org/items/show/18810.