story390.xml

story390.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-04-12

Ughhh another day of work on such a gorgeous day. Routine morning- leave the house, hop on the train with my eyes barely open. The Q express train from Kings Highway in Brooklyn to be exact which goes over the Manhattan Bridge where you get a view of the gorgeous skyline and on that gorgeous morning as I went over the bridge all I thought to myself was "WOW, Im living in the greatest city in the world. People fight theyre whole lives to get here and I have it in the palm of my hand." I really said that to myself every day my train went over the bridge. And all you can do it look at the Twin Towers which I did that morning. It must have been around 8:25 or so. Anyways I make my transfer at 14th St Union Sqare to an R train- for some reason the trains were running slow that day and I was late for work by about 20 minutes. When I get off at 23rd St and Broadway I saw everyone looking up at the sky from the corner of 24th St but I didnt know why. When I looked up and saw a fire that looked like it was from WTC I asked someone "Is that the World Trade Center on fire?" He said "Yes we hear a plane just hit it." This is exactly 8:50. So I go into my building which is 7 blocks from the Empire State building and I tell my boss about the news. Apparently word traveled at the speed of light that day because 2 minutes after this happened everyone knew. I called home where my mom and dad both had the day off (my father in part of the NYPD). Yet everything seemed calm. I remembered hearing that back in the 40's when we were at war a plane crashed into the Empire State building so I figured it was an accident. My boss and I went to the window to see what was going on. A few other people join us as we discuss whats happening. As were talking out of the corner of my eye, flying south from 34th St I see a low flying plane and say "hey guys you see how low that plane is flying...It looks like its going towards the Trade Center." As it disappeared from our vision I thought oh well must have been a low flying plane. Then I see an explosion and my co-workers and I went nuts. Everyone then new it was scumbag terrorists. I almost threw up from being so scared especially working right near the Empire State building. My office is in a frenzy by this time. I called home again and my parents who are the most calm people I know seemed to be very conerned. I told them I was leaving work. 9/11 marked 3 months since I started full time so I had no vacation or personal days accumulated. My parents in a very frustrating moment told me to ask my boss if it was alright to leave. In anger I screamed "What the hell are you crazy. This is life and death right now and you want to stay over here?" I realized my father would probably have to go into work. I told him to quit the friggin job. I was trapped, no way out of the city but I figured being outside was safer than a tall building. I tried rounding up my co-workers to at least try to get across a bridge to Queens or Brooklyn but it seemed like everyone was bullshiting. When it comes time to leave a bad situation noone knows better than me when to leave. As Im planning what to do I hear the Comptroller of my company screaming "Its gonna fall, Its gonna fall. Oh my God, Oh my God." Thats when I knew things were getting bad. At that point I felt my heart in my throat. I didnt want to see it fall so I stayed far away from a window. Then Im remembering a girl who I was dating at the time worked right near there who I was with the night before. I tried calling but all phone lines were out. I remember thinking about the first possible death from someone I know from this situation and thinking "I was with this girl last night and now shes gone." I didnt know if the building toppled or not cause if it did there would have been alot more buidlings damaged. I also remembered that I went to school a few blocks away from WTC at Pace University, which I graduated in May 2001. We also had a campus on the 55th floor. I started calling people there to tell them if they dont get out theyre gone but no phone lines were working. My boss and another co-worker huddled in prayer so I joined. Then it really hit me that theres a chance I may be next. After that I said fuck this Im leaving with or without you guys so I did. My plan was to go towards the east side of Manhattan and south towards the Brooklyn, Williamsburg or Manhattan Bridges. I tried avoiding going near any tall building or landmark. Going uptown to the 59th St bridge was a bad idea also because you have the UN and Israeli Embassy on the way. As I get out onto the streets, I was in a trance. I remember walking by myself and saying this is a nightmare. Everyone was walking in groups that day. People who didnt know each other from a whole in the wall- didnt matter what race religion race or nationality you were. As I was taking my route that day to try and get to a bridge I remember passing alot of bars and liquor stores. Man people were throwing their drinks back left and right. I decided to buy a bottle and walk the streets with it and maybe being drunk it wouldnt be as bad. However the liquor store was sold out of anything I drank so other people had the same idea. I remember seeing everyone just walking uptown- people that used to do security at my school, covered with dust. Then someone said the other tower went down which happened while I was coming out of my building but not to my knowledge. I figured how much worse can it get but apparently it did. As Im walking in a trance someone I graduated college with saw me. Of course we were chatting about what was going on. His brother had an apartment on 1st Ave and 11 St in the East Village which was 2 blocks from where I was standing. I was very thankful that I could stay there. In there people were just piling in that he knew. People from Pace started coming up there so I was glad to see everyone was ok. Phone lines finally start working so I call the girl I was dating. My message went something like this: "Lauren I hope youre alive...call me back." My buddy Mio called my house saying that another friend (Etnyre) who we were close with worked on the 69th floor and he couldnt get in touch with him. Thats when I began to think I must know alot of people who worked down there. Luckily later that night Etnyre wound up on his doorstep covered in dust. When trains finally opened up I tool the L train from 1st Ave and 14th St to my grandmother in Williamsburg Brooklyn. She looked at me like she saw a ghost. I just took a nap there since I was so tired. I finally took a cab to my house which is in southern Brooklyn at around 5:30. Seeing my house that day felt wierd. It felt like I was living in a different place when I left that morning. Either way I was home and felt safe. I checked my email and it seemed that people who I havent talked to in years were checking on me. Girls from Chicago and Boston who I met on Spring Break, friends from years ago- it was insane. My pager voicemail was overloaded with messages from my ex-girlfriends and other close friends. Made me feel like everyone was concerned which was a nice feeling. I feel blessed that I didnt know anyone directly that was killed. My heart goes out to those who were and any of their loved ones and friends. I thank God everyday for my father being alive because if he were at work he would have been down there and who knows what would have happened. The next few days were tough to deal with as well just watching the news and hearing about all the casualties.

Bottom line here: There are so many details that I left out. The emotions I felt that day cannot be put into words-its just a way of talking about it to try and heal myself. It was one of the darkest days in American history but also one of the brightest. From that day on Ive never felt so proud to be a New Yorker and an American. This country is based on freedom which other countries are jealous of because of the harshness that is brought upon them. We fought long to have this freedom and we wont let it be taken from us. Its a shame that 9/11 has opened everyones eyes to things like this even my own but in a way its almost a good thing that we finally realize who were are. Unfortunately you still have these scumbags who cry racism and prejudice and all other things. Grow the fuck up. Everyone saw from 9/11 how productive America can be if we work cohesively and throw all this bullshit behind us. Another thing we should learn is to never let our guard down. Unfortunately these terrorists hate what we stand for and will try anything to make us misreable like they are in their 3rd world countries. We have to make sure that were not going to let 9/11 happen again. Be vigilant- if it means profiling, so be it. If it means act when something looks supicious, do it. Treasure life and what it means to be free because it was what happened that day that is what happens when you do the opposite. I can speak alot about this subject as you can see but Ill stop here. God Bless America, NYPD, FDNY, EMS, PAPD and victims who worked like ordinary people in those towers and the pentagon and on the plane in Pennsylvania. Coward terrrorists can hold us down.