story4283.xml

story4283.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-11

It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. I was on maternity leave, in my home getting my son ready for the morning. He was barely four weeks old. The phone rang, it was my husband. He was a little out of breath and sounded strange. He told me there was an explosion at the World Trade Center and that there was also one in Washington, DC. I thought he was joking with me - I said yeah, right. He said really, turn on the TV. So I turned on the TV and almost fell to the floor. I could not believe what I was seeing - it was like watching a disaster movie, but the reality of the situation hit home and my head was spinning. I could not think of any of the things I needed to do that day, although there were a few. All I could do was watch the TV, switching back and forth from one channel to another to see if there was any difference in the coverage. Each channel was showing the same tragedy with little difference in the coverage. When the World Trade Centers collapsed the thought of all the people trying to get out and the people trying to help them get out brought me to tears. No escape, little hope for survivors - I could only imagine how the families of these people were feeling as they too watched the same coverage. My heart goes out to all of them. I was finally able to pull myself together and get my son ready to go out and go to the food store. I needed to see for myself what was going on. I drove to our local hospital - 10 minutes away - as you can see the New York skyline from the parking garage. All of the streets were blocked off into the hospital - I don't know why, maybe security, later I found out that some of the victims were being transferred to this hospital - but I found my way in. I drove up to the top of the parking tier with dread hoping that it wouldn't be real - I found many other people had the same idea. The side of the parking garage that faces the City was flooded with people who were, in my mind, also trying to face the reality of the situation. With a heavy heart I got back in my car and drove on to my destination, the food store. Once inside the store, I was shocked to see how busy it was. Walking up and down the aisles I noticed people with their carts full of things like bottled water, canned goods, toilet paper, etc. I decided to forget my regular shopping list and do the same - bottled water (almost none), canned goods, etc. Standing in line to pay for my purchases there was total silence, no usual chatter amongst the customers and check-out clerks, no children begging for candy or any of the usual bantering at the checkout. There was one elderly lady standing behind me in line, she must have seen the look on my face as I looked into the other faces looking for some sign of hope. She started a conversation with me about my beautiful son - how old was he, what was his name, what a beautiful baby, etc. A look of sadness came over her as she commented on what a shame the baby had to live in such a chaotic and scary world. That was the end of our conversation as we checked out and went our different ways. I went home and immediately turned on the TV to see continuing coverage. My husband came home shortly after that, we held each other very tightly and we watched the devastation together with our infant son sleeping peacefully in the next room, oblivious to the evil and drastic changes that would take place in our country. Over the next several days, and following weeks, my beautiful baby boy woke up early in the morning, as most babies do. I would take him out of our bedroom and into the living room so I would not wake my husband who had to go to work in a couple of hours, I would turn on the TV to watch the continuing coverage, and as the days and weeks went on, the personal stories of sadness, tragedy and fear unfolded on the news. As my son fell back to sleep, satiated from his bottle, I looked at pure innocence and held him very closely, and I cried.

It is now one year later, my son is thirteen months old. He is the light of my life and a pure joy. My husband and I want the world for him and we will try to instill good values and patriotism into him every chance we get. Every day I drop my son off at the babysitter with my heart in my throat and a tear in my eye - will there be another 9/11 tragedy? will today be the day? will I be able to get to my son fast enough if I need to? will my husband be able to get to us if he needs to? Has my life changed because of this tragedy? YES. I fear for my family, my extended family, my friends and for mankind in general. I go about my daily routine - go to work, do things with my family, take care of my son and husband, but these questions are always in the back of my mind. I cannot even imagine the thoughts that go through the minds of the families and friends of the victims and the survivors. My prayers go out to all of them and for my son and husband and family and friends.

Barbara Estrada