story682.xml

story682.xml

born-digital

story

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no

2002-05-29

Even though it has been eight months and some-odd days since September 11th when the World Trade Centers, the Pentagon, and Flight 93 got more than their share of 15 minutes of fame, the minutest details of that fateful day still remain vivid in my memory. A teacher running into the classroom like a scene from a movie abruptly interrupted Global Studies. His face was ashen and all that he could manage to utter was a command to turn on the TV. He spoke these words with a tone of fear that was clearly perceptible by the eccentric contortions of his pallid face and representing that of an apparition.
Mrs. Capen, my Global Studies teacher, immediately grabbed the remote control and turned on the television like well-learned reflex. Usually patient and placid, Mrs. Capen could not stay calm and she looked as upset and as confused as I felt. What I saw was horrific. So many people distraught, troubled, and baffled as to what they were supposed to do next, where to go, what was going on. My eyes were astonished as to what they saw unfolding and numerous uncontrollable emotions were welling up inside of me. My emotions were like a bag of M&M's, I ate through them very quickly and every time I reached into my bag of emotions, I pulled a different color for each of my emotions. I felt sadness (blue), anger (red), bewilderment (purple), flabbergasted (yellow), and hatred (orange). The only emotion that I didn't feel was envy because I was certainly not envious of people who could commit such a destructive act of terror, so when I'd had enough M&M's, all that I had left was a few green M&M's at the bottom of the bag. How could this happen? Why did we let this happen? Who could do this? Questions that couldn't be answered ran through my mind the rest of that grim and excruciatingly painful day.
The rest of that day was like bad dream to me. It was like I was in the ocean and every time I got close to the shore and close to a partial understanding of what had happened, an enormous wave pushed me back and I was just as puzzled as I had been when Mrs. Capen turned on the TV in second period. As the day progressed I found it increasingly hard to reach the end of the school day so that I could go home and be with my family. As you might expect we didn't have a normal day at school. Thanks to the high-quality technology at my school, there is a television in every classroom. Instead of doing work, we watched the news in every single class, which was fine with me because I am the type of kid who could watch the news all day, everyday. As the news coverage continued, the news became increasingly worse and increasingly disheartening. By the end of the day (it finally came), the World Trade Centers were nothing more than heaps of rubble, the Pentagon had been transformed into part building and part wreckage, and an airplane with a number of 93 was now nothing more than a heap of debris lying on the ground in Pennsylvania, and all of these ruins were reminders of the terrible terrorist attacks that had made history earlier that day. The photographs and live shots of these troubling scenes will forever hold a place in my mind. The most heartbreaking portion of that whole gloomy and dismal day was the count of those who had lost their lives on that tragic day. At the end of the day the total count of the deceased was nowhere near being reached but its numbers were already climbing well into the thousands and was not ceasing to grow. Every single person that I passed in school had their heads hung down in despair and everyone that I passed in the quiet, desolate hallways was grief-stricken and inconsolable. September 11th was undoubtedly one of the most tragic and depressing days of my life.
When I got home no one else was at home except for my dog, Doc, who was comfort enough for me at that moment. Despite the fact that I was home alone, it was nice to know that I had a house to be alone in. That night I didn't even get to see my parents because my mom had to work and my dad had to school (he goes to NCCC), so I had to baby-sit my brother and sister.
I didn't really know how to deal with my siblings about the horrendous events of the day, so I asked them if they knew what had occurred that day. My brother said, "Yeah, I know what happened. A bunch a dumb people made a lot of kids lose their moms and dads. I'm glad that they didn't come here." Hearing that from my eight-year-old brother made me realize how lucky I am to be blessed with all of the things I have and how much I take them for granted. I have a magnificent family who until September eleventh I don't think I ever truly appreciated, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food to eat, a superb education, and the list of things I should be grateful for is endless.
That night when my mom got home from work, there was an awkward silence and my mom just held out her arms and I gave her a hug and cried on her shoulder. My mom and I don't have a great relationship with one another but that moment brought us closer than ever. I looked up at my mom and she was in tears as well. She told me that I would never know how much she loved me and that she thanked God for me every day. I told her that even though she didn't know it, I loved her more than words could ever express. I gave her a kiss goodnight and went to bed. At the moment I thanked God that I was alive and that I was surrounded by the people who, even though I didn't always show it, I loved more than life itself.
It is inevitable that September 11th touched many people's lives and left a considerable impact on all of those touched that was unforgettable. Perhaps I wasn't in Manhattan; Washington, D.C.; or in Pennsylvania on that catastrophic day but I know that along with everyone else in the country, I was certainly feeling the negative effects of the dreadful calamity. I felt as if I had been transported back to my youth because I felt extremely vulnerable and baffled, as I had often experienced in my adolescence. You may be questioning the fact that I am only 14 but I feel that this unbearable incident in our history has required many teenagers to feel as if their age has quickly matured many years. It is my observance that this terrible occurrence has caused many young people to feel more adult and often times they are obligated to act older than they really are. This day, which has forever left its mark on history and on me and can never be washed away. This day can never be forgotten in my mind and someday I will have to retell this painful day to my grandchildren and although this day has done more harm than good, it has everlastingly left me grateful for those things that I am able to call my own.