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2002-09-15

On Sept. 11, 2001, I was with my wife Bonny at St. Anthony's Community hospital in Warwick,New York. My wife was getting some same day surgery done when the attacks happened. We both watched it on TV once she came out of surgery and the nurses informed us of the situation. We didn't see the planes hit but we did watch the towers fall. This may sound selfish for the rest of this story but I will explain later. While watching all of this occur, I was thinking I have to get out of the hospital and get moving back to Vernon, NJ ( where I live) because I knew we were going into New York City. At the time I happened to be the Captain of Vernon Township Volunteer Ambulance Squad and I knew there would be a major response to this. I was torn between my duty of being a good husband and my responsibility to my squad. I knew I had to be there for my wife yet, I also knew I had a job to do now since I was in charge of my squad. To say that I was thinking straight is an understatement. I hope that no one ever has to be in that situation like I was placed on that day. My wife was upset yet, she knew I had to go. I started contacting my Squad and the Vernon Police Department by payphone from the hospital until my wife was released. I didn't leave her at the hospital but I was costantly running between that payphone and my wife upstairs. I contacted my Senior LT. at the time, Gary Anderson, and he informed me that three of our rigs were leaving for Sparta Township PD where all of the Sussex County EMS units were gathering to go to the Meadowlands to meet with the rest of the response from New Jersey. At this point, I knew I wasn't going to make it back in time to go with them. I also found out that members were staying behind to cover the town with our other rig. Once I got my wife home, I called up her sister, Heidi, to come over to stay with her while I was out. I finally left my wife when her sister arrived. For the rest of the day, I was in contact with our ambulances down at the Meadowlands and with the members who stayed behind to ride in town. Mostly, I was in the police station with the police chief and his Lt. working out contingency plans if needed. I called an emergency meeting later that night with the ambulance squad to find out who was around and to give them an update of what was going on and what the future had in store for us. My rigs finally returned to town at @ 10:30pm. They never transported one person nor did they ever make it down to Ground Zero. We had over 400 ambulance squads represented down at the Meadowlands, Liberty State Park, and Jersey City. That's about 95% of all of the volunteer squads in the state. Most of them just sat around and waited. There was nothing for us to do.
I used to live in NYC. I grew up in a town called College Point, located in the Bourough of Queens. I grew up looking at the World Trade Center and the NY Skyline. I also trained as a Paramedic out of Rockland County, NY and I rode with Paramedics in NYC as part of my training. So I felt a loss of commraderie when the towers came down since I thought that a lot of people I knew and trained with were now dead. Knowing now what I know, that wasn't the case since only 5 EMS personell that I know of, lost their lives that day. A part of my childhood memories was now changed forever since the World Trade Center now does not exist. It amazes me how my mind looks at the skyline now and it says that is not New York City, even though it is. I did finally make it into NYC to help out. I was part of the ongoing rotation of ambulances out of New Jersey going down to Chelsea Piers to sit and wait in the hopes of going down to Ground Zero and helping one of the rescuers. I sat all day at Chelsea Piers and I never made it to Ground Zero but something happened to me while I was there that I never expected in a million years. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a New Yorker through and through. I lived there for 20 years and my friends are still there along with my mother's family. As I was sitting there, waiting my turn to go, hundreds of New Yorkers were all out there, saying thank you for being here. Clothing, food, drink, rescue supplies, anything you could possibly need was given to me for free. The amount of compassion that poured out from these people was tremendous. You always hear from "outsiders," you're from New York, where's your knife? or New York is a rough town, everyone is nasty and bitter. Once this happened, I think the world saw what being a true New Yorker was all about. I knew the spirit was always there but, others never saw it. I guess you had to live there to understand it and when visitors come into our beautiful city, they see something different. I am proud of the fact that everyone pulled together and showed their true colors.
Part of me is glad I didn't make it to Ground Zero while another part of me wishes I was there running up into the towers to save someone's life. I can honestly say that, we are a truly rare breed of people. All of us from EMS, Fire, and Police. We all do things that normal people would not do. Do I consider myself a hero. NO WAY! I just do a job to save lives and to save as many as I can. I try to keep focused on what I do so that I don't get killed but the fact remains that, if it means saving a life, then I will take risks. That is the nature of the beast. I love what I do for others. I love the fact that I am trained to do a job that involves saving people's lives. I have a natural high when a call goes out because somebody needs me. Someone is hurt or sick out there and they need help. I just hope everyone out there realizes that we do what we do because we love to do it. We do not wish ill harm on people. We just want to be there when we are needed. And another thing that bothers me is that, as an EMS professional, we are not Firemen. We do an entirely different job than they do and not to take away from them but, EMS is the forgotten child sometimes. The men and women in NYC may wear FDNY on their uniforms, but that is only because of politics and budgetary constraints. We shouldn't be lumped in with the firemen and women. I hope that some day, this realization happens and we too can be remembered for the contribution we made to society.
Anyhow, this is what happened to me on Sept. 11th. This day will always be a powerful day to remember for me.


Marc J. Wtulich
NJ State EMT/ NYS Paramedic