story10913.xml

story10913.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2004-09-11

I wrote these thoughts shortly after September 11, 2001 and have not read them since they were written. Now I know why. The pain has not gone away. The sorrow comes back in waves. The tears flow freely. I am hurting real badly now.

But I will NEVER FORGET and that is still a part of me now as it was then when I wrote the following recollection.



"I will never forget the day of 9-11-01. What are the unforgettable pieces of that day for me?

I will never forget how perfectly beautiful the day started out.

I will never forget the parking spot I took in Harrison.

I will never forget the walk to the Path train.

I will never forget the reason I missed four trains.

I will never forget the faces of my fellow passengers.

I will never forget the young man in the blue dress shirt talking to the young lady in red and the things they talked of.

I will never forget the five words to Steve that came from someone over the train Public Address system as our train sat at Exchange Place waiting to go into the World Trade Center.

I will never forget the communication I had with the woman on the other end of the emergency Path phone at the track level.

I will never forget the vision I had of my building One WTC burning as I rode up the escalator at Exchange Place.

I will never forget the absolute terror I felt when I got to the plate glass window at the top level and looked up just at the moment Two WTC was hit and the biggest fireball I had ever seen exploded up into the sky higher than the top of the building.

I will never forget the darkest fear I felt thinking of my daughter Lauren working at the World Financial Center right next to the WTC.

I will never forget going to the street and staring at the sight of the burning towers.

I will never forget the feeling of utter helplessness I was experiencing.

I will never forget walking quickly to get to my daughter Samantha and her husband Mike working in the Exchange Place area.

I will never forget the joyous relief that washed over me as I heard Sams voice calling out Mikes name at the bank of elevators just as I was walking up to them and hundreds of people were exiting the building.

I will never forget how absolutely wonderful it felt to hug them both.

I will never forget standing in the street and watching as each tower gave off such horrendous billows of darkly ominous smoke.

I will never forget thinking of my co-workers at Cantor Fitzgerald and eSpeed and praying as I watched my floor burning.

I will never forget the sight of one of my co-workers walking towards me with two cell phones to his ears trying to locate his father who worked near the WTC.

I will never forget how my joy at seeing him and thinking others must have gotten out also evaporated when he told me he was late getting into the office.

I will never forget my happiness at hearing my daughter Melissa and my son Ed who also work at Exchange Place were safe.

I will never forget the sight of so many people in the streets just standing and staring at the burning buildings.

I will never forget the walk away from the waterfront and the long lines at every pay phone in sight.

I will never forget my trip out of the Grove Street Path station back to Harrison as the packed train got out past Journal Square and I stood at a door watching both towers continue to give off such heavy black smoke.

I will never forget picking up slight background sounds of some passengers with early reports of another plane crash possibility.

I will never forget the drive home listening to the reports of horror on the radio.

I will never forget hearing the first report of one of the towers collapsing and the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I pulled into the driveway.

I will never forget walking through the front door and calling out my wife Carols name.

I will never forget our holding each other and not saying a word.

I will never forget the calls coming in to check on our families well being.

I will never forget the sheer relief in learning all of our kids and my brother John also working at Exchange Place were all safe.

I will never forget going to church to pray.

I will never forget my happiness at hearing my boss had called while I was gone.

I will never forget my gladness at hearing her voice and my sadness when she told me she had not been able to get in touch with many of our co-workers.

I will never forget how good it felt when she asked me to help her make survivor calls and how horrible it felt as I called into the night and only reached one co-worker.

I will never forget the first image I have of one of the earliest people holding up a photo on a TV screen of a missing loved one and it was one of my co-workers.

I will never forget or be able to accurately describe the feelings I had when each of our kids made it to the house and I was able to hug them again.

I will never forget the childish innocence of my granddaughter Emma?s question when she sadly asked Pop Pop why did the bad men knock down your building that I visited in July.

Finally I will never forget the overwhelming grief that came over me as 9-11-01 ended and the realization struck me that so had much of what we knew as normal lives."



I will NEVER FORGET!