story10626.xml

story10626.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2004-05-31

Back in August 2001, I decided I needed a vacation, so I planned a trip to my hometown in South Western Pennsylvania to visit my family and to Washington D.C> to go to Arlington Cemetery and visit my parents graves. My father was a pilot and Captain in the Air force and because of is outstanding service record, they both are buried in Arlington, a short distance from Kennedy. I have not visited Arlington, since my Dad passed away at 56 on July 4th, 1988 and had only visited my mother?s grave (she died in 1962) when we buried him.

Being that my family has been pilots for United Airlines for the past 20 years or so, I have always flow United Airlines and I was going to fly to Pittsburgh On September 1st, and visit family for a week. My original reservations were to then fly to Washington D. C. on the 7th to sight see for a few days and return home on the 11th by way of United Flight 93 to SFO. I remember thinking when I made the original reservations?cool 93 that?s a good number, no problem on that flight, this will be a good trip 3 and 9 are my lucky numbers and some even consider them sacred.

Thankfully, and this is one fight I really appreciate, while I was in PA, my husband and I got into a HUGE fight on the phone, about my being away so long. Instead of being the hard headed bitch I normally can be, when he tries to tell me what to do, I attempted to keep the peace and changed my return flight to the 7th from Pittsburgh and skipped going to Washington altogether.

Now the other freaky part of this story that also hit me really close to home is that Flight 93 crashed about 25 miles from where I grew up. I was sleeping when everything first came on the news and my husband woke me up screaming New York Citywas under attack?.then the Pentagon?When they announce a crash in Southwestern PA and the map looked too close to my childhood home, so I immediately picked up the phone, called my stepmother to make sure she was ok. She not only heard the crash but felt it and could see the smoke from her house?.After a few minutes on the phone, it suddenly registered that the flight was out of Washington and when they announced United Flight 93 I ran to get the itinerary from my original flight, just to make sure I wasn?t crazy. Sure enough that was the original flight I was suppose to come home on. When I told her we both realized it could have been my flight, she saw burning in the distance. Even today, it makes my hair stand on end and I feel sick to my stomach to think about it, let alone get on a plane.

I sit and wonder sometimes the old what if?Knowing my personality, I would like to think I would have been one of those who tried to stop them, I rarely face any challenge lying down and after all, I am notorious for freaking out on people who try to impose their own will on me. Yet there is also the side of me that faces the fact I would have been scared, and may have fallen apart. I will never know, but look at it as a personal warning about my own mortality, maybe even from my parents if you believe in that stuff, and I needed to change my way of thinking and attitude about what life is providing to me.

I did not want to bring this up, as I told B a few months ago. So many brave people lost so much that day; my escaping is inconsequential compared to the immense loss others experienced. I found it to be a very personal, and a life-changing event. It did change my attitude towards life and appreciate each day and every person I love, and even those I do not. I try to see the good in everyone and look at each day as an adventure, quite possibly my last. I stop and smell the roses and consciously complete at least one act of random kindness to a stranger everyday. I have so much in life to be grateful for, and I try to remember that, stay humble, remembering that it could all be gone in an instant. Since Kyle will not discuss this, and since I am flying in the near future, and can?t talk to him about it (incidentally he won?t step foot on a plane) the recent terror warnings has me very scared. So I decided instead of letting my fear over take me I should find a way to let it out?..

There is a saying in AA I try to live life by these days ?But for the grace of God. go I?.?

Thanks for listening??.