story1234.xml

story1234.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-19

Thinking back on it now, Tuesday started out a little strangely. I had an appointment to conduct an evaluation at the Pentagon that morning. Usually, I am the only person from our organization who is in the Pentagon on a daily basis, but Paul came with me to assist in this evaluation.. We made plans to take the 8:20 shuttle from our offices in Skyline (to where I drive and park each morning) and arrive at the Pentagon by about 8:35 or so.

The first shuttle didn?t arrive at Skyline until 9:00?..seems the one person who holds all keys to the shuttle buses (a strange way to do business) didn?t show up. So Paul and I are about 45 minutes later than we had planned.

We arrive at the Pentagon about 9:10 and head to our office. We crank up the computers and the assistive technology we?re going to be using for the assessment. When that was done I opened my email. I had previously signed up for CNN?s automatic email of breaking news stories, so the story about the first Trade Center attack was already there. I tried to go to cnn.com and couldn?t get connected (not surprising on this day) when a second email bulletin arrives announcing the second New York attack. Of course, I?m sharing all this with Paul and he starts surfing the web for information, too. I decide to send an email back to some of the co-workers at Skyline to make sure they?re aware. One co-worker responded with something to the effect of ?yes, I know?..I can?t believe this is happening?.

It was at this point that the plane hit the Pentagon. I heard, but much more so, felt the impact. It was a deep feeling that shook me all the way to the core of my body?..a very hard jolt. Paul and I exchange glances as if to say ?uh oh?.

I opened the door of the office to look out. Our office is on the ring directly on the center courtyard (?A? ring). At first glance, I see nothing unusual; a few people in the hallway with the same puzzled/confused/worried look that I imagine I was showing. Directly across from my office is the doorway that leads to the center courtyard. In only about 5 seconds, a crowd comes bursting through the door. Two people stumbled and fell as they came through the doorway, but they bounced up and continued in. These people were running (the only people I would see run at the Pentagon this day) past our office towards the hallway that leads to the exterior entrance (on the outside or ?E? ring). Everyone is yelling ?Get out!!!? The looks on their faces, though they went by fast, were incredible; fear, pain, and confusion??and other emotions I can?t describe. I?ve never seen people?s faces look like that before, and hope I never do again.

I took a glance down the hallway to my left. I didn?t know it at the time, but this was the direction toward the impact. Far down the hallway, I could see a crowd of people heading this way at a fast, fast pace.






Paul and I exchanged a quick glance and moved. We did NOT have to wait to be told to leave. The email I received from the co-worker was still on the screen, so I hit ?reply? and type ?something just hit the Pentagon?.we have to evacuate??tell everyone? and hit ?send?. I just looked back at that email; it was sent at 9:36 a.m. I had enough time to grab my briefcase and we headed out.

I?m guessing it was about a 100-yard walk to the entrance. I was thinking ?will we make it out before another one hits or before something in the building blows??. The corridor was very full, but everyone walked quickly and orderly?.no running; no panicking. Remember the picture of the Pentagon I sent with the red circle and yellow square? The side of the building towards the bottom of the picture is where we exited, just about at the center of that side of the building. We stepped out the door and the first thing you notice was the huge, boiling, pitch-black cloud down to the left. Everyone keeps walking, but we all constantly look back at it; look ahead, look to the side?..look ahead, look to the side. We walk down the exterior steps (not in the picture; they were added since that picture was taken) to the parking lot level. No one is milling or standing about, we all head out across the lot towards I-395. I remember there being two women in Army uniforms in front of me. They walked past a traffic control officer?.I didn?t hear what the women said but the officer screamed at them ?Go away?and don?t come back!?.

Across the lot, everyone keeps with the ?look ahead, look back? business until we get across the lot to the embankment of the highway. The highway here is elevated in relation to the level of the parking lot, but is on earthen embankments instead of bridgework. It was at this point that we finally stopped long enough to take a good look back. The cloud of smoke is larger and even blacker than before. All my senses were overloaded??the sight of the cloud and the brilliant orange flames licking over the top of the building; the sights and sounds of the shocked crowds; the sound of the sirens coming from every direction??the rumble of the firetrucks roaring past us??the smell and the taste of the jet fuel. It was here that I saw one man I recognized as one who had come running in from the courtyard. He was telling what he?d seen to others, and this was the first time I actually heard the word ?airplane?. He said he was in the courtyard when it impacted. Over the top of the building came the cloud?..along with debris that rained down on the courtyard. I don?t know if it was tiny bits or huge chunks; he kept re-starting his story for people passing by who heard him and asked him to start again from the beginning.

We stand here for maybe a minute or two, but we realize we have to leave?..we didn?t want to be in the way of the rescue efforts and we didn?t want to be in the line of a second attack. We quickly decided to walk under the highway to either the Crystal City or Pentagon City subway stations. We planned to take the subway to King Street station, which is the closest to our Skyline offices. We planned to call the office and hope that someone would come get us.

We crossed the highway and were getting close to the subway station when it hit me: there are people who love me who don?t know if I?m dead or alive. We didn?t have a cell phone, so we headed into Macy?s to look for a payphone. Between Paul and I, we had enough change to make one call. I called back to our office, and dialed the extension of someone I hoped would be at her desk?.she was not. I left a voice mail explaining our plans; I also left Denise?s work number and asked her to please call Denise to let her know that I was alright. At this point, Macy?s announced they are closing, along with all the other stores in the area.

We head out towards the Metro station again. A lady comes up and asks if we came from the Pentagon and what had happened. She was a Federal worker in one of the many office buildings on this side of the highway?.she said practically everyone left the buildings, even though they had not yet received an official evacuation order. There were hundreds and hundreds of people??some milling about; some walking quickly with a purpose. There were a few people sobbing and crying. As we continued to the Metro, I noticed a lady walking along with us. She was probably about 27-30, and she looked like she was going to lose control at any minute. She was crying and shaking and she had a scared, dazed, confused look on her face.

I asked her if she was ok. She looked at me and said ?no??but I could tell she wasn?t physically injured. I asked where she was headed, and she was going to Seven Corners?..farther past our Skyline offices but in the same general direction. I told her where we were headed, took her hand, and brought her along with us. I asked her name?.it was Steph. I asked if she?d been in the Pentagon. She told me she works in the office of a congressman from Texas. On a normal day, she would have already been at the Capitol, having driven directly there. However, she said today she put her car in the shop for routine maintenance and she taking the bus into work. There is a large Metro bus facility at the Pentagon; it?s a big transfer hub for the system. She said her bus was pulling into the Pentagon when the attack occurred??she watch the plane hit the building. She was about to lose it again, and I knew she needed to have a different focus. So I introduced her to Paul and told her of our plans.

We got to the Metro station, and joined the crowd that was gathered around the stationmaster. I heard the stationmaster say that no trains were running north (towards the city). Someone asked him about southbound trains; he said he no idea about those but if we wanted to try we could head down to the platform. All the turnstiles were open?..no one was going to make all these people go through the process of digging for money (if they had any on them) and buying fare cards.

Our little group went down to the platform and waited with the crowd for the next train. Of course, people began talking?..not many wild rumors, but this is where we heard about a car bomb at the State Department (false), a 2nd hit on the Pentagon (false) and reports that more planes were headed towards the city (who knew??).

I was bracing myself for a bad scene?.I was anticipating the trains to be already filled to capacity and having to crowd in like sardines if we could even board at all. The first train arrived, and amazingly it was completely empty. Everyone waiting climbed aboard?.the crowd was small enough that no one even had to stand. So far, so good.

The train heads south. After Pentagon City, the next stop is National Airport. At this point, the trains still stop at the Airport; it would be a little bit later before that practice is halted. The Airport is to our left as we head south. I look that way and notice no air or ground activity. But the sight to the right of the train is more astounding. To the right side are parking lots and garages, the access roads to the airport, and small areas of green, open space (traffic islands, landscaping around lots, etc.). There is a literal sea of people there on foot. I couldn?t begin to imagine the numbers. Of course, the airport had already been evacuated?..these were the people I was seeing.

Its two more stops to the King Street station. On the train, people are calm. Where were you? Where are you going? Several people were visitors to Washington; one man said he was supposed to leave for New York this morning. He?s asking everyone about locations of Amtrak stations and car rental facilities.

I?m sitting beside Steph and we?re talking with each other about what we know of the morning?s events. A woman behind us overhears and joins in our conversation. She was at the Pentagon for a job interview. She had just arrived at the South Parking entrance when the plane hit. She asks where we are headed, and we discover she has her car at King Street and is going in the general direction we are. She offers Steph, Paul and I a ride back to our office.

Once we arrive at King Street, its about a 5 block walk to her car. The traffic level on King Street is incredible?..the vast majority of the traffic heading in the general direction from I-395 to the Capitol Beltway (I-95 and I-495); an easterly direction. We reach her car and head west against the traffic towards Skyline.

The approximately 3 mile trip takes a bout an hour and a half. Odd?..but I can?t remember looking at my watch at all during the morning?.time becomes unmeasureable and hard to estimate. Its during this trip that we hear on the radio of the collapse of the Trade Center towers. We see the fighter jet activity overhead. We inch along, numb from the information overload we?re getting.

With the traffic in such a chaotic state, I realize its foolish and useless to get in my car now. So I head up to my office in Skyline to try to contact loved ones. Its impossible to get a local phone line?..of course, all cell phone and land phone circuits are swamped. Fortunately, I?m able to get an email connection. I was amazed with the emails I had already received from friends everywhere around the country. I responded to let them know I am ok. I ask my cross-continental friends to please try to contact my wife and my sisters. I spend about an hour and a half trying to get in touch with people. I?m finally able to make long-distance calls, and reach my sisters and dad and my in-laws. None of them have heard from wife, nor have they been able to get a phone connection with her.




At about 12:45, I decide to try to head for home. My commute is on I-395 and I-95; two notoriously busy routes. What I see there is eerie?..the traffic heading away from DC is almost non-existent. Fewer cars than 3:00 on a Sunday morning. Once I get south of the Beltway, the north-bound lanes of I-95 are at a stand-still for miles. But my drive home is incredibly easy.

I decide to go straight home to see if Denise is there. She is a teacher, and I?d heard of many schools in the area dismissing early. She is not there?.there are no telephone messages either. I check her email account to see if she?d retrieved my messages; she had not. The thing I must do now is drive to her school; I imagine her having received no word of my safety, and worry about her wondering for 4 hours if I am dead or alive. I get to her school without incident?..when our eyes finally meet, I can?t describe that feeling. I?m home. I?ve made it. Thankfully, the voice message I left with my co-worker was indeed retrieved. The co-worker called Denise?s school and gave the message I was ok. Denise did receive the message?but only after 2 ? hours of wondering if I was dead.

That?s the chronology of the day?s events. I continue to relive the emotions. I remember walking through the Pentagon corridor and thinking ?please??let me get outside before the next one hits?. I remember walking across that parking lot and feeling more vulnerable than I ever have in my life?..I felt like a rabbit scurrying across a field trying to get to cover before the hawk swoops down. I still wonder if the bastards targeted that area of the Pentagon, or if it was just a random side of the building they hit. I remember on that morning thinking about the White House?.the Capitol?.the Gateway Arch?.the Golden Gate Bridge??Sears Tower. Was anything else gone? Are there people that I know, or familiar faces I see everyday in the corridors, who are gone forever? I remain thankful that Paul was with me that day. We were a team and we stuck together. It made a big difference to go through this with someone I knew. I remain thankful for the network of my friends around the country who jumped into action to help me contact my family. My sister?s office said they received about 10 or 12 different calls from people saying they?d heard from me and I was ok. This is over-whelming??but not surprising. My nephew in Missouri knew the name of my son?s school. He went to the website and emailed every teacher, administrator and staff person there with the message?..and the request to help get a message to my wife. My nephew received about 50 or 60 responses from those strangers he emailed?..many of them corresponding more than once with information about what was going on with my children and the situation in the DC area.

Like every American, my life has been changed. I feel the common bond with all 280,000,000. But I also feel something at a different level??I was there. I was at the target and I got away. I?m not experiencing survivor guilt, but I can?t help thinking ?why me??. Why did I get away when so many did not? Fate? A fluke? Dumb luck? I just don?t know. But I do know that we didn?t get our toes stepped on??we didn?t get a slap in the face??we received a hay-maker punch right in the gut that knocked the wind out of us. But we?ve caught our breath now. Its pay-back time. We have to do everything we can to eradicate this evil and the sub-humans who practice it. We all know it now?..this is war.