story4942.xml

story4942.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-11

Well I heard of the attack early that morning after waking up to talk to my mother. She told me to look to the tv and see what was happening. My heart just sank. I knew so many people in New York City and that area.

I then glued myself to the tv for as long as i could even remember. Watched CNN untill my eyes couldnt focus on the news running acrossed the bottom of the screen. I had nothing else i could do. I had just had surgery and i was on pain killers so i couldnt give blood. I would have given anything to be there and help.

I was told that two people i knew had been killed. I now have reason to doubt that, ive never heard thier names said. And yet ive never gotten a phone call saying "Im alright". So i guess ill never really know. That in itself is haunting and unnerving.

I had/have what you call "Survivors guilt". Its haunting. For this California girl, New York City and where dreams come true. And i hope that one day i can go there and see for myself what all has happened and make anew.

I will never forget how i felt that day and every day afterwards. And all those people who died that day, from whatever state/country. In whatever state they died. I will never forget...