story9396.xml

story9396.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2003-07-30

i had an appointment at 9 that morning, and as usual, i was early. i arrived at about 8:45 and when i left an hour later, the whole world had changed forever. i remember getting in my car and turning on my favorite radio station and the DJ was sobbing. i thought it was one of those ridiculous morning-radio pranks until i looked around and noticed that people were crying in their cars, driving so slow, stopping in the middle of the street. when i heard the words "one of the world trade towers has just collapsed," i actually got really angry. i thought, if this is a joke, it's a LOUSY one. i never dreamed it could be real. i had been on my yearly visit to new york a few months before and had stood on top of that building, taking in the beauty of steel and water and action, all that i never see in my small town. the world trade center was a FORTRESS; it couldn't fall!
i drove home, getting more and more terrified along the way, because no one could have THAT terrible of a sense of humor. i couldn't get my key in the lock since i was shaking so bad. looking back, i'm thankful for those moments of uncertainty. they were the last moments in the life of the person i used to be.
when i finally managed to turn on the television, the images i saw literally dropped me to my knees. airplanes and fireballs and bodies falling from the sky, that plume of dust that used to be desks and walls and people...
i called my mother, of course. i think we all wanted our mothers on that morning. she was calm, and i was screaming. i could tell by the controlled tone of her voice that she felt what i feared in my heart: the world was ending. she begged me to join her, and i somehow made the ten minute trip despite my tears and terror.
you know what saved my sanity that day? i'll never forget this: i was stopped at a light, listening to what everyone in the country was listening to, and i was sobbing. i heard the person beside me honk his horn, and when i looked over, he pointed to his radio. i nodded, and he mouthed, "it's going to be okay, i promise." comfort. we all tried to comfort each other, even perfect strangers stopped at a red light.
the rest of my story is pretty much like the rest, except, of course, for those told by the people who were in new york, washington, pennsylvania. i cried some more, then i got angry, and eventually, i got numb.
i'm still not over what happened that day. i moved to chicago, and i get nervous when i see low-flying planes or when too many sirens are blaring at once. i wait for the news that it's happened again. i used to be so naive, so innocent. i felt so safe and i didn't even know it. now i'm afraid.