story3664.xml

story3664.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-11

I had moved to Chicago in 2000 from Queens, New York, where I spent several years and gave birth to my only daughter. My husband was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, and while there we both worked in Manhattan. On September 7, I returned to Chicago from New York, where we had flown to attend a family member's wedding. While in New York, I bought a painting of the Twin Towers for my daughter, because she loves everything about New York.

We had just started to get the last preparations ready to leave for the day, when an announcement was made that a plane had hit the North Tower. I immediately sat down an watched the smoke. I worried about friends and family who may have been in the area, and wondered how such a horrible accident could have occurred. When I saw the second plane hit, my first words were "This is terrorism. That can't be an accident!" My daughter, 3 years old at the time, said "Mommy, why did that airplane hit that building." Then she ran to her room and brought me the painting that we had not yet hung and said "Is that the building?" That's when I realized that she was watching, too, and closely. I tried to explain that it was a bad accident, but decided to retreat into another room to find something more suitable for her.

I spent the rest of the day fielding phone calls from friends and family, trying to make sure that I had returned to Chicago safely. I also saw my husband on the verge of a mental breakdown as he panicked over family that he could not reach. I spent the day trying to calm the man, and shield the child. Much of it is a blur, but I will never forget the images. I spent the entire day trying to remain calm for the sake of my family. When my daughter went to sleep that night, I stayed in her bed for a long time, apologizing to her for bringing her into such a cruel world. Thankfully, in her sleep, she never heard a word. I collapsed onto my own bed and cried until I couldn't find another tear.

We still have the painting of the Twin Towers in her bedroom and once in a while she mentions it. Sometimes she reminds me that "Airplanes shouldn't hit buildings."

I'll never be the same. I hope that my daughter will never have to feel the way that I did that day. My husband and I have been scarred for life, but I know that many other people were affected in a much deeper way. I have not been on an airplane since September 7th, 2001, nor have I allowed my daughter to fly. I don't know when I will again.