nmah5543.xml

nmah5543.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2003-06-09

I didn't have television reception on September 11th, 2001. My first news of the event was a phone call from my father. My brother kept me posted from there on, but each new call with each new bit of information seemed confused and unbelievable. I felt very detatched. I spent the rest of the day on the internet and listening to local news radio. I emailed all of my N.Y.C. friends and was relieved to hear of their safety. I did have one email that was a first-hand account, witnessed from a block away. I cried a lot that day. I hugged my daughter probably too much and talked to my husband with disbelief. How could regular people have been convinced that this was the right thing to do? With all of the choices in this world, how could these people have been so consumed with hatred that they would willingly make this a life's ambition?

I was a stay-at-home mother when these tragedies occurred. I listened to a lot of radio opinions, venting, blaming, and sharing. I took a serious look at how I could contribute to the solution, but first I had to determine for myself what the real problem was. My conclusion is that these people, who's hearts were so filled with hatred, will never be swayed. The solution is to build a better generation of people; people who won't choose hate based on opinions, skin color, origin or ancestoral transgressions. We had to teach our children to make better choices so that they can influence a better world. By the end of September, I decided that I needed to go back to public school teaching, a career that I had not reconsidered until that point. I was a good teacher, and I was needed. I regrouped my resume, had an interview with an inner-city district within a week and got the job on the spot. My fate was driven by the great loss and if there can be any silver-linings, I now impact the lives of hundreds of children, desolate, abused, migrant and homeless. I run a music department for a fine arts charter elementary school and am giving young children opportunities to feel successful, to be a part of a team, and to make a positive impact on the community around them. They all know why I'm there. I say, "I don't care if you become fantastic musicians... I just want you to be good people!"

Hate breeds hate. We need to remember the feelings of commradery we had with complete strangers on the street. We need to keep our lives in perspective in respect of the memories of all those people who died and suffered. We have to believe that tomorrow can and will be better, but it needs our collective help.

I was never that connected to patriotism. I'm part of the disposable, detatched, and war-free generation. The gulf war was a mini-series and world politics is just an general college credit. Now that I have a family, it means so much more. I didn't fly a flag personally because I thought it would be too pretensious. I do pause and consider the flag more. I think about what it represents and am touched by that power. I have my little teacher lapel pin of the flag. I feel good wearing it.