nmah1290.xml

nmah1290.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-06

On a wonderfully clear and sunny fall like day, I was preparing myself to leave the house and take my mother to her doctor appointment. Upon arriving at her house, I walked in and she sat in front of the t.v. with a pure look of shock on her face. I asked what happened or if she was ok, and she was in such a state of shock, she hadn't even heard me come in the door, nor did she hear me ask if she was ok. I turned to the t.v., and noticed a burning building. I asked again, "mom, are you ok? What's wrong?" She turned then and remarked how she didn't even hear me then she said words that I will never forget as long as I live..."Oh God have mercy... someone crashed planes into the World Trade Center... those poor people." I sat heavily down on her sofa and watched in terror as people stood watching the horror unfold before them. I watched in terror as people began running small children out of the burning building. I watched in utter terror as the first tower started to fall. I remember saying to my mom "Oh dear God mom that building is falling." And in that moment, we grasped hands, and I felt pure fear... not just for myself and the shock I felt, but for all of those innocent people that were just doing their job that were now... right in front of my eyes losing their lives. Since my mom is a heart patient, I remarked how we needed to get to the doctors office before we missed her appointment. We tuned into the radio station in our area that does news non-stop, and listened as we drove. Upon arriving at the doctors office, we met with more disbelief. Moms' doctor was sincerely in a complete state of shock... she kept mumbling.. "How do we explain this to our children?" At the mention of children, I started to completely get terrified. I mean yes, we live in Kentucky, but after what we just watched on t.v., the mind started to play tricks on those of us here... at least it did me. I was worried that my kids weren't safe. I ran to the phone in the lobby of the doctors' office, and called my childrens school. "Are the kids ok?" I asked. The reply I got was staggering to me... but it made sense in some small offhand way. "We haven't told the children what has happened yet, we thought it better to let the parents discuss this when they get home." I asked if they were going to dismiss school early, and was told, no, but if you want to come and get the kids early, you are more than welcome to. I decided to let them stay, figuring that if every parent ran to pull the kids out of school another mass of hysteria would unleash... and we had enough of that going on as it was. During this phone call, the news on our local station reported that another plane had hit the Pentagon... again shocked, I wondered if any of us were safe that day. I walked back into the room where Mom was with her doctor and reported to them both that another plane had crashed, this one hitting the Pentagon. Mom gasped and the doctor just sat there staring at me with a blank expression. "I cant believe this is happening." Said the doctor. Matter of factly, the doctor really didn't examine mom as she usually did, we understood why... none of us wanted to be there that day. We all wanted to be in front of our t.v.'s. Mom and I went back to her apartment and watched more, at this time learning that one plane that was to be heading for the White House had crashed in Pennsylvania. Unbelievable. I remember crying, I remember saying at one point, "Please God... don't let anyone of those people know what was happening... take them within the circle of your arms and take them home." What else could be said? Here in America, we are supposed to be safe... sure we have crime and people that commit crimes.. but nothing like this... nothing like just taking life and reducing it to non-worth... nothing like what we were seeing on our television. I left my mothers house after I knew she would be ok to come home to get my children... at that point, I just wanted to hug them and tell them that I loved them. They got home, I told them what had happened, we all sat on the sofa and watched more coverage on what was happening, and my daughter in one swift statement said... "Mommy, why would someone kill all those poor people?" I got teary eyed and simply said... "I dont know baby. I dont know." I prayed for those unknown to me people, I prayed for their families, I prayed for their friends, I prayed for their children. I watched as people cried, I watched as brave men ran into buildings that were uncertain... never stopping to think they could die in those buildings... they were just trying to save someone that might need saving, and in return, they to were lost. When the dust settled I remember seeing people holding clothes to their mouths, crying, searching, waiting... and that was the hardest part... waiting. I felt such anguish because I couldn't help. I felt unable to function normally. I felt pure fear again for the hundredth time that horrible day... What would we do now? Not only did these savage people take thousands of lives, but they did it on American soil... how would any of us cope with this disaster? Our world as we knew it before this disaster would never be the same. As a nation we came together to try and glue back together some pieces of regularity, but in all actuality, our most needed pieces were lost. Our puzzle is still incomplete. I felt somewhat guilty... it was hard dealing with the guilt... there were people frantically searching for their loved ones.. and here I was hugging mine. I felt guilt at that because I was so happy that my family was safe, and I'm quite sure so did most of us that were safe... we counted ourselves lucky because we knew where our family was, and they were ok. I watched more of the television as the searching started, hoping that maybe someone was found.. someone alive and that their family would be there to hold them and count their blessings for being able to hold them once again. I remember saying to my husband, "lets not ever again take something for granted... lets embrace our lives together with our children and live for each other."

My life changed dramitically because of what happened on September 11th. I dont take one minute of my day for granted anymore. I hug my children, I make sure I tell them that I love them everyday before they leave for school and before they shut their eyes to go to sleep. I hold my family nearer to me than I ever did before, simply because I didnt realize how much you really do take for granted. Before I thought... they will always be here.. nothing can take them but something natural that happens with age. I was wrong in assuming that. What September 11th reminded me of is that someone I love can be taken from me at any given moment.. and I cant imagine how it felt not to be able to say to a loved one before that moment that I love you. I embrace each day as a gift. I still mourn for those unknown to me people, everyday as a matter of fact. I think of them and still hope that they didn't know what was happening to them, and I still hope that God heard my prayer and many others prayers to take them within his arms and take them home.

I sincerely think what should be remembered are those that fought hard to get to those buildings to save those inside that were in need of saving. I feel that heros were in abundance that day. I feel that every single person that lost their life on that day should be celebrated. Many gave their lives to try and help someone else live, their families, their children, many that we dont even know of gave something that day whether they wanted to or not... they gave up their lives so that we may go on.

My step-dad fought to save the American way of life in World War II. The flag has always held a very special place in my heart... even before September 11th. I looked at the Flag, and my heart would swell, remembering all those that gave life so that I may live mine freely. Those men and women that give life to protect life are heroes in my eyes. The flag represents all of us, no matter what financial bracket you are in, no matter what color you are, no matter what religion you practice, no matter if you agree with whats going on or not. The flag represents life given for life lived, freedom for all, one nation, under God, Indivisible with Liberty and Justice for all.