nmah188.xml

nmah188.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-19

On the early mornig of September 11th,2002, my husband ,Anthony, got up early to go to work at Ford Motor Company in Livonia, MI. I was about 2 months pregnant with our son Michael.I had plans to go with my friend to her prenatal doctor visit, so I stayed up so I could be ready by 9:30am. I called my parents who were on they're way up north for 2 days to celebrate my dads 57th birthday which was September 12th. I wished them a safe trip and told them I loved them and to have lots of fun. Then I proceded to wake up our 9 month old daughter, Margarita, to get her fed and dressed. When we both were finally ready, I put her in her car seat so we could leave. We got as far as the back door, when the phone rang at about 8:55 am. It was my husband calling from work. He asked me if I was watching TV. I told him "No, I was just getting ready to put Margarita in the car so we could go to with RaNa to her doctors appointment" He immediately told me to turn the TV on, I asked what channel and told him it better be something important, because I didn't want to make my friend late. He replied that it didn't matter what channel,to just turn it on! So as he was speaking, the TV started coming in clear and I couln't believe what I saw! The first tower was smoking and on fire. I said "Oh my God! What happened?! Did a plane hit it?" He told me everyone was watching it at work on CNN and they think it was hijackers. I was shaking and about to cry with disbelief. As I continued to watch, I saw chaos everywhere as people were running for thier lives down the streets of New York.
As I was still on the phone with my husband, the second plane crashed. I yelled "Oh my God! Another plane crashed! Tony are you watching this?!?" I stood there in our bedroom looking up at the television as people were jumping out of windows to thier deaths. It must have been so aweful for them in there, that they would even consider such a horrific act. I remember they kept showing this one paticular womans reaction to her seeing people jumping from what seemed like the top floors of the building. They repeatedly showed the second plane crashing into the Tower. It looked like the building just swallowed the airplane! I just kept thinking about all those people in the planes not knowing that they were headed straight for a Tower. And what must have gone through the minds of the innocent people who got a glimps of the airplanes headed right for them! All of a sudden, the first tower started to collapes. It was like watching a horror flick, the way people were running ,screaming and crying away from the buildings. I saw people,probably strangers to each other,grabbing others to run faster or help them up or carry them away from the huge, gray cloud of concrete and debris rolling and consuming everything and everyone in its path. Apparently the cameraman could not find shelter fast enough, and laid/fell next to a parked car. He still had the camera rolling as the cloud reached him. I saw people coming out of the debris dust cloud, and they were completely gray! Some were bleeding. They looked like moving statues! I must have stood there in front of the TV for almost an hour, when I remembered my daughter was still strapped in her carseat downstairs by the back door waiting for us to go. I turned the TV off and got us both in and immediately turned on the radio. Every station was talking about what was happening. I headed to my friends house and called my parents to find out if they knew what had happened. They had no idea, they were listening to they're music tapes in the car instead of the radio. The whole day seemed unreal, like a bad dream. After I went with my friend to the doctors, I went home, she called me to come back to her house because I forgot my daughters diaper bag. When I finally did make it home, I finally broke down and cried and cried as I held and hugged Margarita. She just looked at me like she was kind of scared and confused as to why her mommy was so sad. Then she would smile, and believe it or not, that helped me be a little stronger for her.

After September 11th, my life did change in many ways, as a matter of fact. First off, I was scared to be at home by myself(if my husband wasn't home). If I knew Tony (my husband) was going to class and wouldn't be home until 9:30pm, I'd go with Margarita to my parents house and stay there until he called and told me he was on his way home. If I got home before him, I stayed in the car, in the driveway until he got there. I cried for what seemed like 2 weeks straight. I watched everything I could about 9/11, to the point that Tony didn't want me to watch anymore because I was getting so upset about everything I saw. He (and I) didn't want to put our unborn child under more stress because the baby feels everything you do . I felt depressed all the time. I kept thinking about how a huge war is going to break out now, and how will I protect my children! I wanted to stock up on food, water and baby supplies. The night of 9/11, we went to fill the car tank with gas, the gas stations were charging as much as $4 per gallon! It was hard for me to listen to ANY patriatic song without crying. We wore our shirts with the American flag on them and even purchased more. I really thought about how we all take our freedom for granted and don't realize how lucky we Americans are. I'm scared to fly even more than what I was before 9/11. I also felt discriminated against. I am Mexican-American with dark eyes,skin and hair and can easily pass for Aribic. There was a cashier (African-American)in the CVS by our house that waited on me days after 9/11. She told me to put my money on the counter, after I did, she took a paper towel and pushed the money to the edge of the counter where it fell into another paper towel. She put my money aside, and pushed my bag to me and tossed my change onto the counter. I moved over so the man behind me could take his turn. I then heard her say to him,"Hold on honey,before you touch anything on this counter, I want to clean it first". Then she sprayed a disinfecting cleaner on the counter and wiped it clean. As I started to walk out , I turned to see if she did that to everyone...and she didn't. She talked nice to the man, took his money in her hand,gave him his bag in his hand and gave him his change the same way. I watched her wait on 2 more people after that. She never did to them what she did to me. I wondered if she knew what it felt like to be singled out like that because of her race. I never said anything to her about it, although I wanted to and probably should have.

I think we should remember that sickening feeling in our stomachs from watching people jumping from buildings and seeing the Towers collaps and remember that 9/11 was the result of pure hatred. Remember all the innocent people in the planes, on land and in the Towers, who were taken from us. Remember all the children that parished on the flights that never got a chance to live out thier lives in this great Country. Remember all the children that have lost a parent or are now orphaned. And ,too ,those parents that have lost children...no mater the age...it still hurts. Also,all the pregnant mothers at the time, who had to bring a child into this world without a daddy, and later have to figure out a way to make him live on in memory to a child who never had an opportunity to meet him. Then have to inform the child on why thier daddy can't be there to watch them grow up.Those women will have to be stong for thier children. How do you teach a child not to hate someone who purposely killed thier daddy? I hope God gives them the courage and strength to do so. Remember the women who were pregnant, only to have lost her husband, then have a miscarriage. A double loss...the other women , at least have thier newborn as a reminder of the man they loved so much. Being that I was pregnant at the time myself, I couldn't even imagine what I would have done in thier situation. Remember all the Fireman, Police and civilian that risked or loss thier life heping someone else. All the civilians that gave blood,food and money to the Redcross. All the Firefighters across the country that stood in the streets of America to collect funds in thier boots for those in New York. All the rescue dogs. Te people who donated work shoe, first aid suplies, and clothes to the recovery teams. Remember the teachers and parents who had to explian to little children why something so bad had to happen. Remember how Great this Country is,what it stands for and that you should consider yourself fortunate to be here. And finally, we should remember that we are in Gods hands and He was there with everyone when they went to join Him.

Yes, we did fly a flag on our porch.Yes, my feelings about the American flag did change. I feel even more restect for it. I feel proud to be American and more patriatic.