nmah5339.xml

nmah5339.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-12-18

I will never forget the 11th of September 2001, for the rest of my life. I was a student at Wagner College in Staten Island NY. I had an 8:00 a.m class, Business Law I. Class was let out early and I had 30 minutes until my next class. I realized I had left my student ID card home at my grandparents house where I had been living at the time, only 2 miles from campus. Without it I couldn't go to lunch with my friend Melinda after my next class. I get into my car, turn on the radio and hear the song "I'm Real by Jlo and Ja-Rule" at the end of the song the DJ's from Z100 say, "something wierd is going on, i'm not really sure what is going on," he procedes to say that a plane has hit one of the world trade towers. I pulled up to my house ran inside to get the ID card and went back to my car to find out what was going on. If I ever needed information on the News I called my dad. He is a camera/sound engineer for WNBC in New York. The cell phones had no service, I could not call anyone. I walk into class, meet up with Melinda, and my teacher walks in and says, clases are cancelled go home, go to your dorms, go wherever you belong, call your parents and tell them you are ok. I did not know what to think, what in gods name was really going on. 2 planes had hit the trade towers? We're the pilots drunk? We're the computers messed up? And then I found out it was terrorism, terrorism doesnt happen in the USA it only happens in the middle east. Not here, not now, not never.
One of the selling points of Wagner college, is the view, if you are standing in the right place you can see the whole city. I was up in Melinda's room, the TV wasnt working, so we had the radio on. I called my boyfriend, living in Washington DC, and told him I didnt think he should come and visit me that day as planned because I thought the bridges were closed. It still had not hit me what was really going on. Then my mom calls. The one person who can really calm me, threw me a curve ball. "Daddy is there, you know he is," she says. My dad is johnny on the spot, if there is a news story he is there in a second. And then it hit me, something is terribly wrong, this is not a joke we are being attacked. And as this all comes to me, I'm still talking to my mom, and I hear on the radio "OH MY GOD the building is falling" I turn around look out the window and sure enough, right in front of my eyes, it fell. The first building went down, and i vomited, many times. I knew my dad was there. My friends tried to calm me down, but it was no use.
We went down to another dorm room to be with friends, to watch TV. They show a clip of a man with a camera running out of the building and the anchor man says "the Feed stopped because the building fell" I vomited again. How could I be sure that wasnt my dad? From that point on I never watched TV for the rest of the ordeal.
I decided the best thing would be for me to go home in case my family needed to contact me. My grandparents were on a cruise, my aunts and uncles were in Chicago, my sister was at her first week of college in Connecticut, few more aunts and uncles were in New Jersey, and so was my mom. All the bridges were closed and no one could get to me. So I went home, alone, listened to the radio, and talked on the computer. NEVER turned on that TV.
It was now about 12 noon, but god it seemed like weeks had passed since class that morning. I go down to St. Vincents hospital to give blood, i waited for three hours and was turned away, thats how many people came out ot help, on Staten Island alone. I went home, its now 3:00-ish still no word from my dad. My cell phone rings I pick it up and its my dad...he says "Boo (my nickname he gave me as a baby), I'm ok, i love you, and ill see you soon." And that was it. I cried forever after that. Relief he was ok. I soon found out he was a few blocks away. If you ever saw the NBC footage of the first tower falling, that was my dad's shot. He should have been alot closer, but him, his partner and the reporter stopped for a bagel.
Indirectly, I knew of about 60+ people that were lost. A friend of my dad's from NBC, my aunt tracey's neighbor (father of 3, the youngest only 2 weeks old), my friends maid of honor to be in her upcoming wedding, a co-worker lost her sister in law, another co-worker lost 12 people including cousins and life long friends..all firemen. The Wagner College community lost 40 people. A high-school friend's father, and the list goes on. But I was lucky, I didnt lose anyone really close to me, related to me.
Like I said I never watched TV, i just couldnt because I knew my dad was wherever the news was. I taped 4 hours of radio, saved about 15 newspapers between NJ NY and DC, and about 10 magazines. I attended the United We Stand concert in DC. Puff Daddy sang I'll be missing you and showed clips of the happenings on a big screen behind him, I sobbed endlessly, that had been the first time i'd seen it all since i saw it with my own eyes.
The next couple days after the 11th were a blur, classes were cancelled until the following Monday. I went home on Thursday, when the bridges finally opened. I got home exhausted, fell asleep, only to be woken up by my dad. I cried and hugged him forever. My boyfriend made it up from DC on friday to be with me and my family. He was working right near the Pentagon on the 11th.
September 11th lasted for years, that one day never ended, and it never ever will.

I have become more thankful since the 11th. I thank god for my safety and my family every day. Some people were afraid tofly afterwards, I however got on a plane 2 weeks later because my boyfriend's brother was getting married in Boston. 14 people were on my plane. My attitude is that I'm not letting some stupid morons ruin my life. I try so hard to forget that day, but I never will. My boyfriend thinks I am obsessed with that day in an unhealthy manner. For instance, right around fathers day of 2002, i said to him, "you know this is the first fathers day since 9-11" And i did that for every holiday, i constantly think about those families. Its just so horrible. Like i said i dont want some jerk running my life, making me scared, but i've noticed my high levels of anxiety ever since. I always wonder every time i leave someone i love if it will be the last time i see them. Thats not normal. I'm convinced something bad is going to happen to me, but i dont know when or where or how. But I dont let this show, most people think im fine, but I'm faking. I try to overcome it but it is very very hard. What if it happens again?

Love Patience Kindness...thats what should be remembered from 9-11. Everyone was so kind and gentle, patient and sincere. I saw a fender bender on Forest Ave on Staten Island...any other "normal" day the amount of profanity that would have been going on is unmentionable. I was stuck in traffic with my windows down right next to the whole ordeal. The two men got out of their cars..one guy said I'm sorry, please I apologize, I just cant see straight anymore...and the other man said "dude just watch where your going, please...and god bless." THAT WAS IT Why cant people be so nice all the time. Also the patriotism. Everyone was "Proud to be an American" and it should ALWAYS be like that. Proud to be a New Yorker. Everyone came together, donated anything they had, blood, time, money, food, clothes, socks, gloves ANYTHING. It was amazing.

Yes I do fly an American flag after 9-11, but my family always did. My grandparents have a flagpole on their front lawn, so the following morning, 24 hours later I rose the flag. My feelings toward the flag is that it now has meaning. When I was in grammer school and we had to say the pledge of allegiance it really didnt mean much. The flag was the flag, it came out on the 4th of July. But now It stands for something, its amazing.
I'm a cheerleader at my college. and at our first football game after 9-11, they rose the flag as usual, they sang the star spangled banner as usual, but everyone cried and cheered louder and stood taller. That flag makes us all remember how strong we are, and how together as one we can overcome anything. We all sang god bless america with pride. The flag survived 9-11, and so could we.