story457.xml

story457.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-04-23

I was sitting in my office reading my e-mails when my assistant, Cheryl, walked in the doorway and said to me, ?A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center.? She said it very matter of factly.

I looked up at her from my computer screen and asked, ?What??

?Yeah,? she repeated, ?a plane just crashed, you didn?t hear yet??

I stared at her for a second and then asked, ?Is this some kind of sick joke??

Very emphatically she replied ?No! Really, come see, you can see it from the window.?

We walked to the front of our office, which is located on Union Square. I am a merchandise manager for a company that has several hundred retail stores across the country, and I am responsible for purchasing and merchandising all of the food and beverage items for the stores. My office is located on the fifth floor, and there are very large picture windows in the front, where people were already gathered.

As I looked out, I could not believe what I was seeing. The WTC towers are very visible from our office, as we are less than two miles away. The north tower, the one closer to us, had a very large hole gaping in the upper floors. Smoke was billowing out of the top of the building?very thick brown smoke. People were just staring in wonder. When Cheryl said that a plane had hit the towers, I was thinking of a small, civilian plane like a Cessna or a Piper Cub. But obviously it had been something much larger.

?What happened?? I asked no one in particular. Someone, I think it was Alex, one of our assistant buyers, told me that a plane had crashed right into the side. What kind of plane?? I asked.

?A big one,? he replied.

?Yeah, no kidding, to make a hole that size. Was it a commercial jet or military, any idea??

?No idea.?

The day was bright and beautiful, a near perfect late summer day in New York. In fact, I had thought when I got there that morning, ?This is the kind of day that makes you happy to work in the city.? Little had I known that the world would change a few hours later.

Staring out the window, watching the hole, and the smoke, and flames, it looked more like a movie set, like Earthquake or The Towering Inferno, or even Independence Day. Couldn?t possibly be seeing what I was seeing.

I had missed the first impact, and in between the first and the second impact I had been back in my office to try to find out what was happening on the Internet and the small radio I keep behind my desk. I also called my wife at her workplace and got her voice mail.

?Hi, it?s me,? I said. ?You are going to hear, if you haven?t already, that the WTC was hit by an airplane. I?m okay; I?m nowhere near it, so don?t worry. I?ll call you back later.?

Suddenly screams of horror from the front of our building pulled me out into the hallway again. The south tower had just been hit. Running to the window with the others, I could see that it was burning now too, but the impact had been on the other side, away from me.

I saw flames shooting out of the structure, and lots of smoke, and a wall of something shimmering down in front of it. In retrospect I realize that it was tons of paper, at the time though I didn?t know if it was glass, paper, it could have been anything. It looked like a snowstorm in front of the building.

Now it was obvious that the first crash had not been an accident. I returned again to my office and my younger daughter, Caitlin, called me from school, worried to death about me, and I assured her that I was safe. She gave me her sister?s phone number (they both attend the same college in Pennsylvania) and said to call her right away since she was freaking out about all this happening so near to me.

I called my older daughter Devon right after I hung up with Caitlin. After calming Devon down, I got on the MSN web site, and it was already posted. I walked back to look out the window again after a few minutes, and by now the south tower was really engulfed in flames. Everyone was trying to figure out if there was any way they could put out the fires.

?No way,? I said, ?They can?t reach them, too high.?

By this time we all realized it had to be a terrorist attack. This was incredibly frightening and incomprehensible. How could someone hit both towers like this, so efficiently? How could anyone have gotten their hands on two large commercial airplanes at the same time?

I walked back to my room and listened to the New York all news radio station, WINS. The announcer said that there were reports that the Pentagon had just been attacked as well. Same scenario, a plane had deliberately crashed into it. So this thing was part of a coordinated attack on our country, it seemed. It spread beyond New York.

A report of 6 hi-jacked planes came over the radio. Where were the other ones headed? No one knew. Then there was a report of a plane crash outside of Pittsburgh. My God, what is going on? Are we at war? Is this a full-scale attack on our country? And those poor people on the hijacked planes! How horrible for them to experience something like this!

At this point someone in the front of our building yelled, ?OH my God, it?s FALLING!? This was followed by numerous screams. The south tower had fallen. I stayed in my chair, not able to move, not wanting to see.

I imagined a building of that size falling over.

Which way did it fall? Did it land on top of dozens of other buildings around it? How many hundreds or even thousands of people on the ground had just been killed? God, I hope it fell toward the Hudson River, at least there are fewer buildings that way.

Since I did not see it collapse, I was trying to understand what would have brought it down. I mean, the fire was up high in the building, and that shouldn?t have caused it to topple over. There must have been additional explosions set off at the base of the building to bring it down.

Someone theorized that gas lines running up and down throughout the building must have ignited and blown up large gas tanks in the basement. This sounded plausible, although it seemed odd that there would be gas lines in a skyscraper. What kind of gas did they mean, liquid or natural gas? What would it have been used for? I only found out much later that it had actually pancaked, one level falling on top of the other, and had come almost straight down.

I got up after a few minutes and once again took the short walk to the front of the building. The north tower still stood, but the south tower was gone. Gone!

Most of my co-workers were silent, staring outside in shock. A lot of the women were crying, one or two hysterically. One person said to me, glancing at one of the admins who was in hysterics, ?Her brother works in that building!?

People were trying to comfort one other. At this point, I think, Cheryl told me that her sister worked at the WTC, and she hadn?t been able to reach her. I asked her, ?Do you need to leave, to go home?

She said not yet, she was going to wait and see if her sister called her.

I put my arm around her and said, ?I?m sure she?s all right.?

At some point, I?m not sure when, it dawned on me that Manhattan was going to be closed off from the rest of the world, for security. I take a bus into Manhattan through the Lincoln Tunnel every day, and I could see the tunnels and bridges being shut down first. I told my boss, ?I think I?d better try to get a hotel reservation for tonight. I may be here for awhile.?

He agreed, and I started calling. I made about 6 calls; all told me they were sold out. Then I called the Holiday Inn toll free central reservation line, and was able to get the last room at the Herald Square location.

When I told my boss this he said, ?If I were you, I?d go NOW. Get the key. You can always leave if you don?t need it tonight. But they may not be holding reservations, even confirmed ones, later in the day.?

So I went downstairs and outside, and was going to walk up there. The subway wasn?t running. People were already streaming from downtown, walking away from Ground Zero. No one looked injured. Everyone was very calm, no panic whatsoever. I walked to the corner of Broadway, and looked downtown. Normally you can see the twin towers in full view from there. Nothing but smoke. No buildings. The other tower had fallen too. When the hell that happened, I didn?t even know. Everything had started to meld together in my mind. Too much had happened, too soon. I had to walk, to move, to do something.

I started walking up Broadway, but only got as far as the next block, 18th street. It was just too weird; it felt wrong outside. There were practically no vehicles in sight; people were walking in the street, normally impossible. This is one of the busiest areas of the city, always jammed with cabs, buses, trucks and cars. Now there were only a few.

People were gathered around a car with its radio blasting the news. A cameraman, from a local TV station, I would presume, was filming this scene. Too weird, too weird.

I leaned against the side of a building, taking it all in. The sound of a jet plane came overhead. EVERYONE stopped and looked up. Was this another hijacked plane? More terrorist attacks? Couldn?t see what kind of plane it was, but it was no doubt a military jet. I just hope it?s one of ours, I prayed.

I turned around and walked back to the relative safety of my office building. I came upstairs and told my boss that there were too many people streaming up Broadway, and that I would try later. He said I shouldn?t wait too long.

I went back and asked Cheryl if she was okay. She said she had heard from her sister, and she was fine. I checked my e-mails, and there were messages from several vendors inquiring about my safety, as well as one from my father. My brother had called and left a message. I answered the messages and then decided to brave the streets again.

I walked up Broadway, cutting to the right up 5th Avenue at Madison Square Park. There were even fewer vehicles than before. 23rd Street, normally a very busy street, was empty. As I walked north, toward uptown, I noticed that I was walking closer and closer to the Empire State Building. I then realized that my hotel was only two blocks away. Great, I thought, this is now the tallest building in New York, is it the next target? If so, I?ll be right at the new ground zero.

Suddenly my hotel didn?t seem so attractive. However, I went in the front door, was stopped by an employee and asked to show my room key. I told him I was checking in.

?Do you have a reservation?? he asked.

?Yes,? I answered, and he told me to go ahead.

After I got my key I walked down Broadway to my office. I passed a corner with a guy talking into a microphone, about this being the ?end time.?

?At noon,? he preached, ?it will all be over, the world will end.? This is what was predicted. ?Do you want to die without God??

Christ, I thought, the loonies are all out now.

As I crossed over at Madison again some kid, probably about 20 or so, was yelling, ?it?s the end of the world!? very loudly, then he laughed hysterically. This greatly amused his two buddies who were walking alongside him. What a strange way to behave, I thought, with so many thousands of people just killed?

It was at this point that I had a strong urge to stop into a bar and start drinking, heavily. Well if it?s the end of world, what difference does it make? But I resisted the temptation and kept walking. Need to keep my head about me today, that?s really important, can?t be drunk. Must be able to think clearly, I told myself.

As I walked back to the office, a line from the old movie ?Zulu? went through my mind. The scene is where the British soldiers are standing in line, awaiting the first Zulu attack. A very frightened private says to his sergeant: ?Why is it us, Sergeant? Why us??

The Color Sergeant, a very stiff, proper British soldier, very calmly says to him, ?Because we?re here, lad. Because we?re here.? I thought that this was appropriate to my situation. Why am I going through this insanity right now all around me? Because I?m here. That?s all. Simple as that.

I finally got down to 17th Street and turned the corner to my building. I saw my first real refugee, a black man in his twenties. He had soot over him, and was wearing a bloodied tee shirt. Otherwise he looked okay; at least I couldn?t see any real injuries. He walked calmly and slowly down the street, but had a dazed look on his face. It didn?t register on me what I had seen, until I was back in my office. Then I realize I had just passed someone who was at the scene of the attack.

By this time they had set up food and beverages in the main conference room. Nothing new had happened since I left, no more attacks anywhere. The scariest part about this whole thing, being there in the battle zone, was what was going to happen next? Had the attacks on the towers just been the preliminary attack? Were there going to be more?

Even though all the airports had been closed, and probably we were safe from air attack, had the terrorists planted bombs throughout the city? Someone on the radio said that a ?suspicious device? had been found at City Hall and was being investigated. Was it possible, God forbid that these people had nuclear weapons? Could a nuke go off in the city? All these things crossed through my mind. And what about other countries like China? Could they be behind this, or would they use this as an opportunity to attack Taiwan, or even us?

Then my 1:00 appointment showed up. Yes, she did. She was a journalist from Confectioner Magazine, here to interview me for a magazine profile piece. She had flown in from Chicago the night before, had actually seen the first plane impact the north tower that morning while out taking a walk, and was also in a kind of daze.

I brought her back, sat her down in an empty office and let her make phone calls. After a while she came by and we started talking about the morning?s events. She didn?t have a way to get home as all the airports were closed. She didn?t have a place to stay. All the hotels were sold out. I asked my neighbor, Jennifer if she could stay with her since she lived in the city.

She said ?No problem,? and Mary Ellen was so relieved. Eventually our conversation got around to candy and my job, and so we decided to have the interview anyway. As long as she was here, with nowhere to go, why not? It would get our minds off of the horror of the day for a little while, a short diversion from awful reality.

The interview went great, and after it was over she left with Jennifer. I hung around until about 4 or so, listening to WINS, waiting to see if the Lincoln tunnel was going to open. No way, Jose, not today.

I went to my hotel, got to the room and crashed. I ordered room service?no way I was going outside that night. Got up this morning and heard that Penn Station was open and had limited departures, so I decided to take Amtrak to Philly and then the regional rail to near my house. As I was leaving the hotel, I stopped at the payphones and called Paula to let her know my plans. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a young woman watching me, listening to my conversation.

After I hung up the phone, she approached me. In a British accent she said, ?Excuse me sir, but I was wondering, I?m trying to get back to England and all the airports are closed. Do you think I should try to get to a different airport somewhere? Would other ones be open??

I said that I wasn?t sure, but chances were probably better to leave out of a different city than New York.

She looked very worried. ?I just don?t know what to do,? she said, tears welling in her eyes. ?I have a little baby.?

I looked at her for a second and then said, ?If I were you, I would leave and try to get to Philly or Boston. I don?t think I would stay here in the city.?

She seemed about to start crying, but didn?t. She smiled a little and said, ?Thank you so much.? I wished her good luck, and left the hotel.

Just get the hell out of New York; walk across a bridge if you have to, I thought.

I don?t think that yesterday has even begun to sink in yet. Maybe it won?t for a while, I don?t know. And I feel so bad for Devon. It was her 21st birthday, a day that should have been so special and so wonderful. And those bastards ruined it for her. Thank God, at least, that she was not celebrating it in lower Manhattan.

Okay, I think maybe I can cry now, finally.

Rick Wilshe
September 12, 2001