nmah5692.xml

nmah5692.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2003-09-10

I dropped my boys off at daycare and drove to Westfield High School, where I am an English and Creative Writing teacher. It was a special day for me, and I remember looking up at the sky, feeling so very peaceful because it was a beautiful, clear, mild day, and it was my birthday -- my 40th. I felt so content and happy, because while most dread their 40th birthday, my life is so full and beautiful. My friends and colleagues in the English department had a birthday celebration set up for me in the English department, so it promised to be a fun day.

Between 1st and 2nd period, I snuck over to the office to grab another cup of coffee, when another teacher said to me, "Someone flew a plane into the World Trade Center." I didn't quite understand what exactly that meant, but I guess in my head I must have pictured a small cessna airplane hitting a big building, and wondering how on earth that happened. By the time I got to my classroom, a student had turned on the television and we all watched the events unfold, the details and truth of what happened becoming clearer and clearer, and my high school students looking to me for explanation, looking so lost and scared. As scared and shocked as I was, I continually comforted them, telling them that I had faith in our government, and that we would be okay. One young man asked me, "Why do they hate us so much?" How do you answer that? Some parents were coming to get their children, probably not so much out of fear for their safety, but the need to hold them in such a confusing time. I know I wanted to hold my children, too, but I knew that their teachers and caregivers would comfort them as I was comforting my students. They needed me now, and my children would have me when we returned home from the day. They were younger and wouldn't fully understand the implications - my students knew full well the possibilities that lay before us.

I cried that day. I cried that night. I cried when our high school football team had a moment of silence. I cried when our band and the opposing team's band had worked out a wonderful tribute within the few days since it happened. I still cry when I remember that day.

I will always feel a special bond with those students from that one class during that one year. We shared one of the most horrific events in American History together, and I will always see their faces and feel their fear whenever we mark another year of remembrance.

The week after the attacks, I wrote a poem that I shared with my students in our literary magazine:

Shards of Glass
by LuAnn Underwood

Shards of glass, steel, life
shiver and explode
through the images
which puncture and pierce
through my heart,
seeking unknown areas.
Souls lost
find a home in me, capturing my attention,
holding hostage my thoughts and fears.
My life stands still with anticipation, grief,
and a fierce resolve
to remember,
to comfort ,
to love...
our God,
our fellow man,
our country.
In time the souls will find their way,
my mind will feel release
and put my tears on hold.
The love I feel
will fuel my life once again,
relieving to rebuild our world
and releasing me.

Yes, my life has changed. Family has always been important to me, but it became urgent that I spend time with them - my siblings, parents, all my aunts, uncles, cousins, and so on. I planned a family reunion for the following summer, in which 110 of us were there! It was a very important time, and we enjoyed each other so much.

I spend less time worrying about the small stuff. My priorities have changed and I tend to look at the big picture more than before.

I think we need to remember how we all felt on that day, and the months that followed. While we need to move on and live our lives, we must never forget the overwhelming grief that we all felt, knowing that we aren't invincible, and remembering those people who lost their lives because they happened to be in the towers, or on the airplanes, or doing their ordinary jobs, things we just do on a day to day basis, and we must never forget all those who lost their lives trying to rescue and save those people in the towers.

Yes, and we still do. I don't want the flag to be a one time "feel better" thing. I've been patriotic, but the unity of our country is so important and I want to show my support for America and all those who make it up.