nmah1190.xml

nmah1190.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-05

I remember thinking what a beautiful morning it was - clear, crisp air, blue skies. I signed onto the internet to read the latest news as I prepared to start my work day. I had made it a habit to "refresh" the news screen constantly, so that I would get the stories just as soon as they came over the wire. An article appeared titled simply, "PLANE HITS WORLD TRADE CENTER". My interest peaked, I opened the article to find only those words again, "PLANE HITS WORLD TRADE CENTER". I knew that meant this was a breaking story where they would be gathering more information and updating the article as facts came in. I assumed that a small engine plane had either accidently or possibly intentionally ran into one of the buildings. Maybe it was some sort of stunt gone wrong. I walked across the hall to tell a co-worker of the headline...she hadn't heard anything yet, but agreed it had to be a small plane. I went back to my desk and by this time the article was updated to say that it was actually a commercial jet liner. A horrible accident I thought. Those poor people. Just then someone else came down the hall, asking if we had heard about the WTC. An eerie feeling came over me and I turned on my radio to try and find out more. The radio announcer was talking about the crash, passing along details as they came in, when mid sentence he said, "It has been reported that another plane has hit the 2nd tower of the WTC. We have confirmation that this is a terrorist attack." I sat there listening to the report still not aware of the magnitude of it all when the announcer came through with these chilling words, "We have reports of an explosion at the Pentagon." That is the point at which I became really frightened and realized this is a moment not unlike the "where were you when JFK was shot" moment that my parents and grandparents spoke of. I was frightened not only because the Pentagon is in esentially my backyard, but because it's THE PENTAGON. My God, if they can get to the Pentagon, there's no telling what can happen to us. The first person I called was my Grandma in Riverdale, MD. She ALWAYS has the news on. Every waking moment. So, I called and asked, "Are you watching the TV, Grandma?" But on this morning she hadn't turned it on yet. Her and my grandfather had just gotten up and were making breakfast. She answered, "No, what's going on?" What's going on?? My God, I had to be the one to tell her. I filled her in about the towers and the Pentagon. She gasped and then rushed off to tune in. By this time, our small office has gathered in a room usually reserved for our holiday luncheons or other office celebrations. Someone from our finance group had retrieved a small black & white TV from one of our other buildings. We stood in front of the grainy picture watching in horror and disbelief, along with the rest of the country, as the first tower, then the second crumbled before us. At that time, we didn't know that there were so many people still left inside, trapped. I remember thinking that the people on the top floors near the impact were most certainly killed, but that everyone else would have been evacuated in time. I guess I was naive. I'm grateful for that naiveness because I can't imagine watching that tower fall knowing how many people was dying at the moment. Our building is just down the road from the NSA, so our boss sent everyone home, just to be safe. There were rumors about an attack on Annapolis, where I live, and I remember thinking, I just want to go home and stay inside. I did not want to be out in public. I stayed home and called friends and family and even enemies to make sure everyone was okay. I have friends that had relatives working at the Pentagon that day and friends that are frequent airline travelers. I thanked God that everyone I knew was safe. 8 days earlier, on Labor Day, I took a friend that was in town from San Francisco on a drive up to New York City. He had never been and I had only been once, 10 years earlier. The night before we stayed in a hotel in NJ, but drove towards NY to see the city lights. My friend remarked, "There it is. (the city) There's the twin towers." That was the first thing he noticed. The next day we took the train into the city, but did not stop by the WTC. After the attacks, I remember feeling grateful to have had a chance to see the towers one last time and to see the city as it was before that dreadful day...Pre-911. I got my photos back from my trip and as I was looking through them, thought if only I had taken pictures of the WTC, because now there will never be that chance. That's when I noticed a picture my friend had taken of me in the train. Behind me there in a window, you can clearly see the twin towers. I stared at the picture and got a chill, as if it were a ghost looking back at me from beyond the grave. The saturday before Labor Day, I had also taken my friend down to DC to see all the museums and monuments. I just keep thinking again, how grateful I was to experience that city also, one last time, Pre-911.

When I see commercial airliners in the sky, I look at them different. I stare. I don't know why. I just do.

Whenever I hear the roar of a jet engine that's flying a little low, my heart unmistakably skips a beat.

I now automatically, without thought, take notice of people that look to be of Arab discent.

I used to feel that as long as I stayed within the borders of the USA I would be safe from the sort of terrorism Americans are exposed to in other parts of the world - now I feel vunerable.