nmah346.xml

nmah346.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-20

I awoke that morning to the ringing of the phone thinking that it was far too early to be getting calls. We were living on the west coast at the time and everyone we knew understood they were not to call before 8am pst. I has been sick in bed - not planning to go to work that day and not expecting to get up so early. My husband answered the phone and I remember hearing ask if our friend was joking. And then the PC in the bedroom was on. CNN from the cable and his favorite online news site open in the corner of the monitor. I think the second tower was falling (or just about to fall) and the footage played over and over. I watched the dust cloud tear across the streets, people running ahead and through the grey dust. And I cried. I sat in bed watching that PC monitor for three days and I cried.

My life changed in subtle ways. Fear and suspician seem to be a part of holidays and big events now. I wonder when the next opportunity for mayhem might occur. I was relieved to move away from the west coast (with it's dense population and wide range of possible targets). I can accept my loss of the cosmopolitan to gain a feeling of safety in the obsucity and distance in rural America. We didn't move because of September 11th, but I would be lying if I said it didn't influence the choice.

I don't know what should or should not be remembered about September 11th, but I know I can't forget the people who died. It's a horrible thing to become some unknown threat's pawn, dying for a cause you know very little or nothing about.

I did not fly an American flag, but I did wear a small flag pin for several months, pinning it above the phone at my desk later. Symbols only have power when people recognize them as such and assign meaning en mass. And before the attacks I hadn't thought much about this symbol beyond it's association with the country itself. But in the months after the attacks, everyone again began to notice the flag, flying it to express their respect, sadness, and confidence. It drew Los Angeles' varied communities together with a common understanding which transcended language and cultural boundaries.