nmah1460.xml

nmah1460.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-07

It started of as most people say, a normal day. I woke up, pretty refreshed and in good spirits ready to go to class. I had a pretty full schedule so I knew the morning would be my only time to relax and catch my breathe. I caught the early bus going into the city, which meant not only would I have a comfortable ride in, I'd be able to have breakfast, a rarity for most New Yorkers. The normal people were on the private bus service that ran along 65th Street in Bensonhurst. It was more expensive than the public bus service, but it was worth it. Everyone on the bus worked downtown, mostly women who didn't like taking the train. The ride was quite uneventful and rather quick that morning, so when the bus stopped in front of Century 21 on Church St., and I saw I still had 25 mins. until my first class I got off the bus. I figured I would treat myself. I crossed the street and entered what was the World Trade Center complex. I looked at the Krispy Kreme store and opted for something a little less sweet. So I took the escalated downstairs to The Mall.

The Mall at the WTC was fabulous. Great high-end stores, fast-paced well-dressed business people speed walking to their offices with coffee in hand. At the entrance of one of the Towers sat a little coffee shop with windows full of stuffed animals and incredible muffins. Now anyone who knows me knows the stuffed animals were enough for me to want to eat there, but throw in a good blueberry muffin and wild horses couldn't hold me back.

I got my coffee and muffin, sat down and went in my bag. I realized I forgot my PDA at home, which as you'll see later on, was my own personal miracle. I sat there reading over my notes for my Political Science class and internally debated whether I actually wanted to attend the session that day. Boom! I stopped for a second and heard what I thought was a car backfiring. I was close enough to West St. to assume that's all it was. Then I stopped and thought maybe something bad happened in the train station. The WTC was the meeting ground of the New Jersey Transit PATH train system, as well as numerous MTA trains. With that people started to say there was a fire in one of the tower and then what I would dispute and later find out I was wrong - a plane hit the building.

With in minutes the mall was being evacuated. When I got to street level, I looked up and to my dismay, a tower was indeed on fire; papers and debris was falling; and you could here loud banging on the ground (what I would much later realize were people). I crossed Church St. and stood in front of Century 21 with numerous others watching the fire blaze and questioning the origin. And with that, I stood in fear watching a plane fly directly into the second tower, creating a huge fire ball and instinctively making me run the few blocks to my school. People were crying and speculating about the events happening a few seconds away from us. We looked over to our neighbor, the Brooklyn Bridge, and saw cars stopped and people getting out and starring at history in the making.

I stood directly outside my school. Numerous students and professors all stood there watching in horror as our Twin Towers were in flames. We watched debris falling and even from where we were, we could see people hanging white cloths out their windows. We stood there, some speechless, others like me, running through our heads everyone and anyone we knew who could or would be in those two buildings or the neighboring buildings. I prayed my boyfriend, who would be driving home at that time, was okay. I hoped he didn't change his schedule and go get a haircut, across the street in the World Financial Center. I wondered if many of the women of my bus, most of which got off with me in front of Century 21 and walked into the WTC complex, were okay. However, what happened next was nothing I could have ever imagined and unfortunately re-live every single day - the first tower came down. Instantly everyone, who up to that moment were just fellow Pace students, became shoulders to cry on and took the temporary place of the family I wanted to be with.

For the next hour or so, Tuesday morning, felt like the end of the world. You couldn't see in front of your face because the smoke was so thick. We ran inside. The guards refusing to let the students leave the building let anyone and everyone who came to our doors in. We just stood there in horror. One woman came in and passed out right in front of a few of us. We were told not to stand near the glass or the doors, because we didn't know what was going on. The dorms were evacuated and the faculty and staff tried to herd the student body into the gym. I was covered in dust and couldn't breathe very well. A few girls took me into the bathroom and helped me clean up and got me water to help clean my throat. I was, for lack of a better word, hysterical. I was already on the verge of depression, due to the endometriosis, so witnessing those towers coming down, didn't help much. I couldn't help but cry - thinking about all the people in those buildings and the fear I might know them; the fear that my boyfriend was somewhere in the area. Just scared, because at that point we still didn't know what was happening.

The bathroom became my home base for the next 2 hours. Occasionally, the group of girls who also decided the bathroom was where they wanted to stay, would go outside to get more news. One girl had a radio and gave us whatever information that came over the airwaves. In the first few hours, a lot of misinformation was being spread - we heard planes hit the Statue of Liberty; the Sears Tower; the White House and then the one that made me go into a shock - The Empire State Building. For those of you who didn't know, at that time my sister worked on the 24th floor of the Empire State building. I left the bathroom in search of a working phone, since my cell phone wasn't working. I stood on line for about 25 mins. and called my mom, who else?

She was definitely happy to hear from me. I assured her I was okay and in one piece. I then started to ask about how everyone was and if by chance she heard from Eddie? She let me know he spoke with a few times and he was home - safe and sound. She said that there were only two other planes (not the 8 we had originally heard), one hit the Pentagon and the other went down in Pennsylvania. She also told me my dad's uncle was in the building and his wife hasn't heard from him. (His remains were found and buried in early 2002.) I felt the same feeling I felt before, the fear and pain. I let her know that as soon as I could leave I would, but I didn't know where I'd be going because I didn't know the getting to Brooklyn situation, but she told me her friend said I could stay with him if I can't get home.

For next few hours are a blur. I remember going outside for a little while and smoking a cigarette. I also remember getting something to eat. I sat in the cafeteria, watching T.V. and ran into others students I knew, asking how they were and catching up. I also wanted to make sure they all had places to go, because the school was evacuating the dorms. While I was in the cafe we met up with others who came into the school, police officers, injured individuals (NYU Downtown is directly across the street from Pace and it was used as temporary triage center) and then the most beautiful family came in. They looked like tourists but I wasn't interested in where they were from, I was interested in the little girl. She had a cut on her head, a minor surface wound but it was bleeding. The father was taking care of the other 2 children with them and the mother was trying to distract the daughter from the blood, but it wasn't working. I asked the mom if she needed anything, and she told me the daughter freaks out at the slight of blood and she didn't want the daughter anymore upset. So I started to talk to the little girl. At first she didn't talk to me, practicing "the stranger rule" her parents taught her, but her mom said it was okay and she let me know she was Carol Ann and she was 5 years old. I had her attention, because she thought I had nice hair. =) Her mom started to clean the wound when Carol asked, "Whats my mom doing?" I said the first thing I could think of, "Well, since it's so hot out there she's trying to cool you off. That's all. No biggie." And like all children, she moved on to a different subject.

At around 3pm a few of us had enough and just wanted to go home. We heard they were letting people cross the Brooklyn Bridge, and the Pace guards were letting people leave the building. I wasn't thrilled about having to cross the bridge; I had never walked across the bridge before and I didn't want that day to be my first time. So I was relieved when we saw that the city had buses going back and forth on the bridge so that people didn't have to walk. When we got to Brooklyn, we were greeted by hundreds of people handing out water and asking if we were ok. We saw first hand how this horrible day brought the absolute best out of New Yorkers.

We walked to Court St. and President St. where I called Eddie and asked if he could pick us up and he agreed. We went into a little restaurant, ate lunch and waited. By the time we were done, Eddie was outside. He dropped the other two girls off, and took me to my mom's. As soon as I walked in I went into my brother's room and was greeted with a huge hug and kiss from Robert. I proceeded to the deck where I noticed the dust from the city had traveled all the way there, and I lost it. I started to cry and was thankfully interrupted by my dad. We went inside and watched the T.V., where we all sat and saw tower 7, which was empty, collapse.

A few people called while I was there asking how everyone was. Only one phone call really upset me, but that's a whole other story. After a couple hours there, I went home and didn't leave for the next week.

My school didn't open for a few weeks, but when it did, I just couldn't handle being downtown.

Oh, what about the PDA I forgot that day... My boyfriend and I shared our first kiss at the Top of the World - Observation Deck of Twin Towers. So for our anniversary, I had made reservations at Windows on the World. I wanted an exact table and the woman I spoke with said it could be done. My PDA read for Sept. 11th, 2001 - "WOTW pick out table." My forgetting might have very well saved my life.

In one year the world has changed and it will never be the same again. Lives were lost. Hearts were broken. Futures were stolen. Hatred caused babies to lost parents, and parents to lose their babies. An unforgettable mixture of sadness and resolve filled the air, and we were put to the greatest test of our generation. We stood in the face of those who hate this country, shoulder to shoulder with an unwavering feeling of unity. Through the fire and the dust our United States of immigrants became a family of Americans.

We brought water to those who were thirsty. Food to those who were hungry. Faith to those who felt alone. We became familiar with thousands of victims and their personal journeys. We each hold a special place in our hearts for those who simply did their job and those who became heros in the sky.

That day, when millions of us left our homes, we never fathomed such a tradegy, and that night when thousands didn't return home, we still couldn't understand. And for many of us, myself included, we may never fully understand the events of September 11th, 2001. However, like everyone else who witnessed the day unfolding, whether in person or on television, the memories of that day will live on. The memories of the victims will live on. The memories of the oneness felt across this land will live on. The unsung heros will live on.

In our hearts for years to come, we will wake up every morning and take time to reflect and say a prayer. We need to look back at all we've lost and look forward to all we still have to achieve. We need to take stock in what we have been blessed with and remember that tomorrow is not a guarantee. We need to tell those we love, that we love them. We need to make our dreams come true and follow in the brave footsteps of the men and women who have come before us. We need to look at our neighbor as a sister or brother, and not as a stranger. We need to wake up each morning and continue with our lives, because anything less is accepting defeat.

We are a strong and courageous generation. We were put to an extraordinary test, and we will pass it. We owe to those who unwillingly lost their lives on 09.11.01 but most of all we owe it to ourselves.

Thank you for taking the time to read my Sept. 11th experience.

As a result of 9/11, I started to experience panic attacks. I was put on Paxil and Xanex for four months. I didn't go back to school in the fall because of the panic attacks. I also started to experience increased pain due to the endometriosis, which I was told because of stress. I went through 2 periods after that faithful Tuesday. The first was that I watched everything I could about Sept. 11th, all the footage, interviews and documentaries. The second was I couldn't see anything regarding 9/11 without losing control of my breath and crying.

That day didn't only affect me physically and mentally it helped me get my affairs in order. It made me stop worrying so much about the little things and focus more on the big picture. It helped me realize life is insanely precious and I don't let petty people bother me as much. I try not to take my family and I let them know I love them whenever I can. I try to be the bigger person is arguments, and I take the higher ground. It helped me take stock, you know? I think a lot of people had the same realizations, it's just sad such a horrible event had to wake us up.

Here I am now, August 2002, and I'm going through the 3rd period I guess you could say. I try to watch anything on it, but I don't get as upset. I get understandably sad, but don't always cry. This past March, one of the major television networks showed a video of the events by two journalists who were documenting firemen. My friend Kristy and I sat and watched the whole thing, both us of tearing up every now and then, but not balling... which was a great improvement.

The unity of this country was something I thought only happened in movies. The incredible compassion and respect was remarkable.

Yes. It was a small flag, but it was a flag none the less. My feelings haven't changed about the flag though. I always looked at the flag as a victory. It symbolized the courage and strength of those who came before us. It always shined through as a symbol of freedom. Showed the individuality of each state, but the unity as well. It shows what we came from - 13 colonies to who we are now, 50 states, and it continues to grow. What did change, in regards to the flag was it just took on another symbol - resolve! And the memoriable photo of the three firemen at Ground Zero, is a perfect example.