nmah1518.xml

nmah1518.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-08

I was in my office in Fairfax, Virginia on the phone with a work colleague, when one of my staff members came into my office and turned on the television. When the phone conversation concluded, she told me that she'd heard that a plane hit the WTC which is what was shown on television. At that point in time, no one knew the size of the plane and I thought it was a small plane.

I went ahead and convened our department staff meeting and we proceeded to have a normal meeting. After the meeting, we all went back to my office to see if there had been any updates. There were. By then, the second WTC tower was hit and shortly thereafter, the Pentagon was hit.

While I was horrified to see the WTC attack, it was the Pentagon attack that hit close to home. After all, my mom, Lorraine Grant, and my father-in-law, Jerry Henson, were working in Pentagon. My husband, Neal Henson, worked in an office building directly across I-395 from the Pentagon. I am a strong person, one who grew up exposed to terrorism when I grew up on military bases overseas during the 1970s and 1980s, so it was easy for me to compartmentalize terrorist attacks and evaluate what happened while shutting out the emotions. The Pentagon attack changed it all.

I could not get ahold of my mother. I could not get ahold of Neal. I knew his building's location provided a great view of the Pentagon, so I didn't know if it had been damaged in the attack. I was shaking, but at the same time trying to hold it together. After all, until there was bad news, there was nothing really to worry about, was there?

I kept trying and trying to reach my mom and Neal; no luck. Finally, my sister-in-law, Kelly, called me and said that all of the people in Jerry's office had been accounted for except for my Jerry and one of his co-workers, Jack Punches. It was at that point, to my horror and shame, that I realized I'd been so focused on my mom and Neal, that I hadn't thought of Jerry.

Finally, after about an hour, my mom finally called in. Fortunately, she and my dad were in Maryland. Neither had gone to work that day because my dad had a medical appointment. I filled them in about my father-in-law and told them I'd update them when possible.

I left work and headed over to my in-laws' house. At that point, I felt that since my parents were safe, that I needed to be strong for my mother-in-law, Kathy, and Kelly and keep praying for positive words about Neal and Jerry. Finally, we got word from Neal that he was fine. His building was evacuated and he and his co-workers were wandering around Pentagon City, not sure what to do or where to go. They kept getting conflicting reports of more incoming planes, etc. Finally, he rounded up his carpool participants and headed to my in-laws' house.

It was some time later, that we received word from an urgent care facility's emergency room that Jerry was on-site and being treated. He would then be moved to the Virginia Medical Center in Arlington. As soon as Neal arrived, Kathy, Kelly, Neal and I headed over to the hospital. We then found out that he was being treated for smoke inhalation and some wounds to various parts of his body. The good news was that he wasn't burned and he was conscious.

He recalled the plane hitting the building and then being trapped under his desk by office furniture and other debris. He recalled the choking black smoke of the plane's fuel. He recalled the heat of fire. He recalled being rescued from his office and taken out of the building. He didn't recall who his rescuers were.

Over the next few days and weeks, more of what happened became known. Thanks to a media interview on MSNBC, Jerry was able to meet two of his rescuers (the U.S. Navy's Captain David Thomas and Lieutenant Commander David Tarantino)and learn more of what transpired on the 11th. They explained how they came to his office, how they happened upon him and how they were able to free him from the debris that trapped him.

My family was very fortunate that day. My parents were safe. My father-in-law was injured, but none of the injuries were life-threatening. We would all get through it. Jerry's co-worker, Jack Punches, did not make it out of the Pentagon, however.

While many things about September 11 are crystal-clear in my memory, many other things are a blurr. I suppose that's only naturual given the circumstances. I think what was most clear was that all of the members of my family had a mixed sense of profound sadness and gratitude. We all knew it could have turned out much differently and our joy at being intact was tempered with our attempts to understand what families like the Punches experienced while they awaited word of their loved ones, only to be told the worst possible news.

That night, as Neal and I drove home from my in-laws' house to our home in Loudoun County, we saw people along the road with American flags and candles. Such a simple gesture, but one with so much meaning. It was a fitting way to cap off a day that was so inexplicable and tragic.

Prior to learning of the Pentagon attack and realizing that both my mother and my father-in-law could have been killed that day, I was someone who didn't let acts like terrorism affect me.

My father was a career Army officer. We lived overseas in the 1970s and 1980s, when episodes of anti-American activity were not uncommon. From a very early age, I knew of terrorist groups like the Bader-Meinhof Gang, the Red Brigades, Abu Nidal, the PFLP, Red Army Faction, Fatah, etc. I was trained to observe my neighborhood and alert someone if I saw a suspicious person, package or situation. While episodes such as the Achille Lauro hijacking, the bombing of the LaBelle disco in Berlin or Pan Am flight 103 were horrific acts, I processed what happened in an almost clinical way. In fact, some of this led to my choice to study terrorism in my undergraduate and graduate eduction.

I thought other Americans were naive to believe that terroristic acts executed in foreign countries could never happen here. I firmly believed they would occur here at some point, but I could not have imagined the scale of what occurred on September 11, 2002.

What September 11, 2001 changed was the clinical examination of an attack. On September 11, 2002 it became personal and I let it in. While I was able to be strong for my in-laws in the period immediately after the 11th by taking them places, running errands for them, helping them prepare for a media interview, etc., shortly thereafter, it began to get to me.

I actually went to counseling. This may not be a big step for a lot of people, but it was a huge step for me. I always felt strong and able to handle anything that came my way, but I couldn't handle this alone. I'd let it in and that angered me. I felt like I was letting the perpetrators win by letting their attacks affect me.

Though counseling, I learned that it was okay to be angry. It was okay to let this situation affect me. It had hit close to home -- what else could be expected?

I don't think I've changed dratically since September 11. I think the changes have been more subtle. While I've always been aware of my mortality, that day helped hit home the fact that mortality may not be the result of a long-term illness that, while tragic, allows you to make peace with it and say goodbye to your loved ones. I realized that an action as benign as going to your office can result in your desk and that each day you are alive is a gift to be treasured.

September 11 should be remembered for being a day on which mankind was displayed at its most positive and most evil. The heroic action of firemen, professional rescuers and ordinary citizes who displayed extraordinary strength was never as obvious in my lifetime as it was that day. There was a tremendous amount of good done on that day.

At the same time, there was a tremendous amount of evil that day. The 19 men whose actions destroyed the WTC and nearly 3,000 lives therein; damaged the Pentagon and the over 180 lives therein; and killed all of the men and women in Shanksville, Pennsylvania field were a tremendous example of evil.

The lives that were lost on September 11, 2001 must never -- and will never -- be forgotton. But we must also make it a goal to never forget that while America was reeling from a horrific act by evil men, she was also showing her steely resolve to rebuild, remember and overcome. That resolve, the American spirit, must be remembered every day of the year.

The American flag has always been special to me. Growing up on military bases, I was accustomed to seeing the flag everywhere. The Star Spangled Banner was even played in movie theaters before the featured film was run. The flag has always been a source of pride. Obviously, due to the events of September 11, that sense of pride has been made a little deeper. I do a fair amount of travel in my work and it was fantastic and emotional to see the flag displayed at so many places across the country in the weeks and months following September 11.