nmah406.xml

nmah406.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-23

In Boston, we went through our own suffering toward the 911 attacks. While there was mourning for many of the individuals who were on the airplanes, there was also an uncanny, unsettling feeling from the knowledge that this horrible chain of events began here. These people had lived among us, so it seemed that there was no way to know if something dramatic wouldnt happen here in the days and weeks following 911. I live and work in downtown Boston. I will never forget September 11 2002. Not because I lost someone I love, but because Ive never known such fear for the unknown. But because, it seemed the world turned over that day. Businesses closed at 10am. There was no traffic or people outside…on such a beautiful day. Ive never felt so alone, so vulnerable, so unsure of my home, my life, my world.

The weekend after the attacks, in an effort to return to our normal routine, my husband and I took our two dogs to the Bostons Public Garden. It was much like other Sundays… we sipped coffee as we read the paper, watched people walking by and children climbing on the bronze ducklings. The sun was bright and there was a light breeze…it was a truly beautiful day. On cue, the church at Arlington Street played its Carillion, except instead of classical or gospel music, the bells chimed God Bless America, and America the Beautiful and I was reminded again that despite the normalcy of our routine, our lives would never be the same againno matter how we strived for the mundane. It feels like this point has been over-dramatized but as a person who has never known real war, the reality of our countrys situation was quite unsettling. As I have never really felt unsafe in my world, I foolishly thought that I would live out my lifela-dee-dahwith my plans neatly laid out and my goals un-interrupted. There would be a career ladder to climb, a house by the ocean and maybe even a kid someday if we felt we were ready. But now these simple American dreams have been challenged by this devastating act of violence and the proof that evil truly exists in our world. It's strange to feel that you can press on with business as usual when it is very possible that our civilization as a whole could be at risk. It is so scary to think of the damage we all could do to each other- worse than everand that man, as a species, has the capability, willingness, and perhaps arrogance to destroy himself.

So things are not as they were- as much as we would like them to be so. I have noticed the little changes all around me. As I gazed at the swans in the lagoon, I noticed that even they seem to be swimming in a silent coalition- and I wondered how anyoneanywherewith any religion at all could see the pure beauty that surrounds them and want to destroy it.

While I live in Boston, I am fortunate in the fact that my life has not been affected by this tragedy. I did not know any of the victims personally. I am lucky to be able to say that, I know. I listen to story after story of families decimated by this act and while I dont know them, my heart aches for their losses. I dont even know them, but somehow it feels like it happened to me. All of these beautiful, innocent lives gone from our world, hopefully onward to a better one. I just wonder, if that somewhere in their terror, they knew that their deaths would not be in vain. That so many Americans would mourn for them as if they were family, that the sacrifice of their precious life shook our country by the shoulders until we awoke from the fog of negativity and apathy we had drifted in for so long.

So, while I mourn with the rest, worry about my future and fear the potential outcomes, and while my heart palpitates each time I hear of another scare on an airplane, or a case of anthrax exposed- I am at least grateful for the unity it has brought our country and the meaning it has added to my life. I thank God, that through the sacrifice of these lives I am given the gift to re-evaluate my own.

I no longer think that I may live my whole life without experiencing real war. I no longer feel that the US is an island to the horrors that occur outside this country.

I think the true horror of that day should be remembered. The shock, the disbelief...I think it's the only way Americans will actually strengthen their resolve to remain vigilant against the real threats to our society.

I think it's very touching to see the flag displayed so prominently in so many places. I think it's a moving tribute of our country's pride of its freedom and its honor to the dead.