nmah20.xml

nmah20.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-06-18

I was on my way to work in DC on Washington blvd right next to the Pentagon. I was listening to the reports on the radio about the World Trade Center. I had just gotten off my cell phone and had told my brother "I hope they don't hit the Pentagon because I am stuck in traffic right next to it". Not a minute later there was a huge explosion, I ducked, and in so doing bumped the car in front of me.

I got out of my car and looked over at the Pentagon and there was gray smoke everywhere. I tried to call 911 but it was busy so I ran over and jumped the guard rail to see if I could help. There was a man by the heliport putting on a fire suit (I guess because of the heliport they have firemen there), I ran up and asked him what I could do to help, he said "Get the f$!* out of here".

So I ran back to my car and just then another plane was over head (it turned out to be nothing), everyone was yelling to get out of there so I hopped in my car and crossed the median and left. I stopped by my son's school just to see him, more for me than him, then I went home and sat on the couch and cried like a baby. I don't know if I cried for me or everyone else, probably both.

Part of me is wishing I wouldn't have listened to that fireman and I just would have gone in and helped. My wife keeps telling me that I did the right thing and that she is proud of me for trying to help, but I can't help think that maybe I could have saved just one person. I think about all those people who died everyday. I will NEVER forget them and I am sorry I didn't do more.

God Bless America.

I think about death more, my own and those who died. I am no longer afraid of dying. I am only afraid of not being there for my family. A part of me will always wonder if I shouldn't have done more for the people there. My mind knows when you ordered to leave the pentagon grounds that is what you should do, but my heart cries out for those I didn't help.

The people who died should never be forgotten, and although I did not know any of them, I will never forget them.

I have a flag on my car that I will never take off and everyday I put on my pentagon memorial pin. My feelings about the flag, and all that it stands for, have always been great and that will never change. I love this country and would lay down my life for it in an instant.