story11315.xml

story11315.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2005-02-23

I guess this isn't exactly what you were looking for. I'm not about to tell you a true story. I do a lot of writing in my spare time, which I can understand may seem "nerdy" for a fifteen year old to be doing. Anyways, I wrote this story a couple of days ago, after I had seen a Discovery Channel show that discussed the events of 9/11. My story is in no way a real story and is not meant to offend anyone. I guess here goes nothing, right? Don't make fun of it please, its no great peice of art. It's just a kid's story, about a horrible thing, and, well, it's not even done yet. I thought I'd post the first part, the part leading up to the accident, and then later I'd send the rest. I hope that's okay, thats allowed, right?
Well...enough talking, hope you enjoy, or rather, don't enjoy, there is no happiness in the tragidies of that day.

A New Normal
by Tess

Intro
?It was my first full day on the job since my accident. God, I was so excited. I walked into station 18 and there were all my friends, my brothers. Who would have guessed that a group of?co-workers, I guess you?d call it?.could ever be so close? No, it was more than that. We were more then close. We just?were. I know it won?t ever be the same. That?s a given I have to learn to except, we all do. But sometimes, I just miss them all so much, it hurts. You know what I mean??
-Jack Ferdinand



A New Normal

The first face I saw when I woke up was Justin McGregor. Then I noticed he wasn?t alone, Andrew, Davy-Boy and Sammy were all there, staring at me, smiling underneath worried eyes. Where the hell was I?
?You?re in the hospital, buddy.? Davy-boy always knew what was running through my mind.
?Quite a spill you took. Most firefighters choose to use the ladder-??
Laughter.
?Maybe they don?t teach that over in those ?west coast? stations-?
Laughter.
?Guys, guys! C?mon, he told me the story in the ambulance on the way here! Give the poor guy a break, the old lady pushed him out the window, it wasn?t his fault!?
Uproar of laughter and knee-slapping.
?The one in the wheelchair??
?Yeah, that?s the one!?
?Duh guys, how could you forget, it?s been happening all time lately. A new outbreak of criminals. Haven?t you heard all the stories ?bout the ninety-nine year old women, in wheelchairs, barely strong enough to brush their own hair, pushing young, strapping firefighters out of 5 story windows??
Laughter.
?Musta missed that news letter!?
Laughter.
?Fine guys. Fine, don?t believe me. But I swear she ran into me.? There was no hope defending myself in a situation like this, no hope at all. The boys laughed and laughed until finally a nurse came in. She was very attractive.
They all tried to act mature and flexed their arms as they walked past her towards the door. She smiled, particularly at Andrew. He gave her his usual wink and swaggered away, smug and cool, as always.
?You can talk to him more, later, boys. He needs his rest.? Her blond hair flowed over her shoulders as she went to check the monitors I was hooked up to.
?Uh-hmm. Can I have one moment, ma?am?? Justin asked quietly when all the other fellows had already filed out.
?Of course. Just make it quick.? She gave him a polite smile and walked out the door. As it closed I could see Andrew standing there, smiling widely at her, his white teeth gleaming in the fluorescent glow of the lights.
?You gave us all a real scare, Jack. We thought we lost you for good.? His smile lacked luster as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, and he grabbed my hand with both of his, holding it tightly.
?Hey, no worries, huh? Just call me lucky from now on, okay? I?ll be back in no time, just got the wind knocked outa? me is all.? I knew my voice was weak from not saying much the past few days, and it didn?t do much to console his fright, but it was all I had to give.
?Yeah?just the wind?? He wiped a lone tear from his cheek.
?Uh-hmm.? I grunted, putting on my manliest face and voice. ?The boys might start to think you?re getting soft if they see you like this, buddy. Better get going.? I patted his hand, smiled big, and then nudged him with my leg.
He stood up quickly, brushed his shirt off, and rubbed his face with both his hands. ?Of course. See ya? around, buddy.? He turned away and walked towards the door. Three steps later, he stopped. Still facing the door, he whispered, ?Just the wind, right Jack?? His voice was a barely audible whisper.
?Just the wind.? My voice was stronger then his, encouraging him to continue. It broke my heart to see them so worried, and to see one of them cry, that was almost scary. I closed my eyes and only listened to him walk away, I felt the tears running down my face but I had no care. I was alone. Or so I thought.
?You?re going to be fine, Mr. Ferdinand. I promise.? The blond nurse was in the room again, checking the monitors with her hands but looking at me with her eyes. They were the most beautiful blue I had ever seen, clear like Hawaii water and deep as any ocean I had ever seen.
Just like that, just like how she had snuck into my room, she was gone, in an instant. I watched her butt as she walked away. Even under the blue scrubs you could see it was tight; she worked out. Maybe this hospital thing wouldn?t be all that bad?




The boys came by everyday after that. They told me stories of all the calls and jobs they had taken, how much more food there was in the refrigerator since I wasn?t there. Besides all that, they still teased me about my accident.
?Jimmy, from station 102, he got pushed out a window today. A tragedy, really. They say the culprit was a 89 year old woman, paralyzed from the neck down. Apparently she had an aggressive head-bunt.? Davy-boy spoke in an all-serious tone and shook his head as he talked. The other boys cracked up, choking and getting teary-eyed they were laughing so hard.
Not a day went by that at least one of the boys didn?t come to visit. It was the best three weeks vacation of my life, except for the whole ?pee in a tray? thing. That was just plain awkward, but besides that, it was great. I couldn?t wait to go back though, to be able to move without pulling on tubes stuck in my nose, my mouth, and my arms.
Justin never seemed convinced I was okay, but that?s just his nature. He was the mom of our group. He took care of us when we were sick, hurt, or tired. We all knew he was gay, but that didn?t matter. He was one of us, no questions asked. He had come over to my house for dinner with his boyfriend once, I had my girlfriend over. It was the best night of my life, to tell the truth. I had never had so much fun. Over all, Justin was the caring, compassionate one in the group. He was the parent I never had.
One day, while I was trying to put my best moves on the hot blond nurse, he came by with chicken noodle soup. The nurse smiled and said I was still unable to eat solid foods, and for a moment his face was crushed, but he put a broad smile on to cover his disappointment.
?Well then. All the more soup for me!? He set it down on the table and asked the nurse for a few minutes alone.
?So, Jack, when you gunna get that wind back in ya??? He pulled up a chair and sat up by my head, still smiling.
?You know, I actually feel a lot better today than I have any other day. The doctor says that within the week I should be able to use the bathroom, as long as a nurse helps me. No complaining here, have you seen the nurse they got taking care of me? Whew! Talk about needing to put a fire out! She?s hot! Anyways, they expect 3 months physical therapy and then I can go back to work full time.? I smiled back at him, truly enthused by my own voice.
?Well that?s some damn good news, buddy!? He patted me on the shoulder and stood up. ?I better get going. This is a hot summer man, one of the hottest July?s of the year!? He smiled sideways at me as he grabbed the chair.
?Oh is it now? Hottest July of the year? Maybe that?s because it?s the only July??
?Aw, man. You caught me. I was just checking to make sure your heads alright. I mean, turning down chicken noodle soup isn?t your usual behavior.? He put the bowl on the food tray and swiveled it towards me.
?Being in a hospital isn?t my usual behavior, either.? I said.
?Eat the broth, huh? I?m sure you can suck down the noodles. I?ll see ya? tomorrow, buddy. Feel better, start getting the wind back in, okay??
?Alright, later.? I said between slurps of warm broth. After weeks of hospital food, that was the best meal I had ever had in my entire life.



Finally able to go home was a blessing. I walked into my apartment building with all the boys there, helping me up the stairs and jokingly hiding from every elder woman we passed.
?Any of of ?em could be murderous. I?ll go first and make sure the coast is clear.? Davy-boy ran up the stairs, his smart-ass comment leaving all the boys, as well as me, laughing.
That was so Davy-boy. Saying something sarcastic was his usual behavior. We all loved him; he was the younger brother, smarter than all of us combined though. Book smart as well as street smart. Not all that handsome, but his wit had a way of attracting ladies just as well as the rest of us. His mind always raced at a thousand miles an hour, coming up with just the right thing to say at just the right time.
When the ?band of brothers? had finally reached my apartment, Davy-boy was already inside. I knew it was a surprise party, but I wouldn?t ruin it for the boys. Never would I spoil something that was obviously so important to them. That?s how we were, supporting each other through everything, no matter how drained we were.
?You go first, Jack!? Sammy screamed out, apparently to warn those inside of my arrival.
?Wow, I think China can finally rest easy, they know you?re home!? called Davy-boy from inside.
I laughed as I opened the door. The lights flicked on, streamers, balloons, ?Welcome Home!? posters, and at least thirty people were scattered around the living room of my apartment.
?WELCOME HOME, JACK!!!!? everyone screamed, almost shrieked. Sammy was jumping up and down with excitement.
?We got you good! Yeah we did! Davy-boy we did it! We got him good!?
?Settle down, Sammy. People are going to think there?s an earthquake with all the commotion you?re starting up.? Davy-boy answered as he poured a cup of punch.
He walked towards me, holding the cup out. ?I checked it; no old ladies spiked it or anything. You?re safe, for now.?
?Gee, thanks Davy-boy. Whatever would I do without you?? I said sarcastically as I took the glass.
?Live happily ever after.? All the boys said at the same time.
The rest of the party was a blur, I said ?Hi, how are you!? to about a dozen people that I didn?t know or couldn?t remember, and I drank a lot of punch. I think Davy-boy lied though, that wasn?t your regular punch. It had quite the kick to it, tequila I think.
I do know my ex-girlfriend was there. We had remained close friends since our breakup; it would have been too hard to leave her completely out of my life. She gave me a big hug and a cheerful smile, along with a punch in the shoulder and a ?never do that again!?
My parents weren?t there. Neither was my sister or brother. Of course they weren?t. They told me that if I wanted to go into this line of work, there would be risks, and they would not ?condone my radical behavior? in any way, shape or form. I didn?t care, though; I hadn?t talked to them much since I had told them I wasn?t going into the family business. I didn?t want to work behind a desk, no matter how incredible the building was. I wanted to be doing something to help people who couldn?t help themselves. They wouldn?t hear a word of it. They kicked me out onto the cold streets of New York. I made my way just fine though, I had good friends and the family I had made at the station was better than any family I had ever seen.
The party was the best party I had ever had. It was the best night of my life, it would be for months to follow.




?Come on! Push! Use your legs!? Dan, the physical therapist I?d been seeing for the past few weeks, was screaming in my ear.
?Jesus, Dan!? I huffed between gasps. ?Are you sure you?re not trying to kill me?? Another gulp of air.
He just laughed as he added more weight to the leg press machine. ?Ten more!?
?Yeah, figures.?

The therapy was working well; my strength was slowly coming back to me. There?s no denying sometimes it was hard, and at times, I felt like I would never be the same. But my boys from the station would always come by at just the right time to make everything okay. There was nothing that could have pushed me harder than their helpful encouragements.

?Keep going, Jack! Keep it up! You got this! He so has this! Go on, Jack! You?re almost there! Go! Go!? Sammy?s usual roar of excitement filled the weight room once again.
?Sammy?s gettin? his own work out here! Look, he?s worked up a sweat and everything!? Andrew laughed at his own joke.
Just then three girls walked into the room. These weren?t just any girls, these were physical therapists. Andrew pounced like a lion on his prey.
?Hey, ladies. I was wondering, I seemed to have hurt my shoulder a few days ago as I was rescuing a young boy from a burning inferno. You see, I?m a fireman and just because I felt my shoulder crack against the hot, hot wood, I was just trying to save this boy, so I had to ignore it. Think one of you could lend a hand?? He smiled his charming suave-debonair smile as he rolled up his sleeve to reveal the toned, huge bicep underneath.
?Oh well isn?t that just touching!? A brunette with a southern accent said. ?Here, let me help you out. Come right on over here and take a seat, okay?? She smiled warmly at him, but her eyes were mischievous.
Whatever she was saying was covered up by Sammy?s persistent screaming.
?Go! Go! Go Jack-o!? He was clapping his hands, his face about two inches away from mine.
?Sammy will you just shut up? Jesus, boy!? Davy-boy was laughing as he said this, and his head was shaking as he looked at the floor.
Sammy jumped straight up, looked at Davy-boy with hurt eyes, then smiled.
?Sorry, guys. I just get a lil? excited is all.?
?Hey-? huff ?-don?t worry about it, Sammy. I enjoyed-? huff ?-it. Thanks for the encouragement.? I said as my face contorted to force the words out between breaths.
Sammy smiled big now, almost in defiance to Davy-boys teasing. He was like a hyper-active kid, a kid with ADD. There was no stopping him, he would yell, jump, scream, and just always have a good time. He wasn?t always so, I guess immature is the word. He was our sergeant up until three years ago, when he got in a horrible accident during one of our worst calls.


The building was roaring with flames, we were ordered to try to put it out, but not enter the building. There was no way anyone who entered would ever get out, the fire was that hot. But, as we were shooting the hoses, Sammy all of a sudden ran straight into the flames that seemed to lick the sky.
?Sammy! Where you going? Get back here!? I tried to run after him but Andrew grabbed me back.
?There?s someone in the window! Look!? He was screaming above the roar of the flames and pointing up.
When I looked to where his finger pointed, I saw a very young girl, holding a blanket and waving it out the window. Her mouth was moving but I could not hear a word she said. It didn?t matter, her face was saying enough. She was dying fast and needed help.
?He can?t go in there alone!? I broke Andrews grip and ran into the flames after Sammy.
The fire was hot on my face. I will never forget that feeling, I don?t think anyone could. I tried to open my eyes, even under my mask, but it was so bright. The flames licked the sides of the walls and engulfed them in their haunting beauty. I heard a crash behind me and turned to see the ceiling by the door fall to the ground in a loud rumble, then get sucked into the flames.
?Dear God let there be a back door.? I mumbled to myself as I continued through the wreckage.
Just then I saw Sammy, running towards what was left of the stairs. I didn?t know what to do to get his attention, so I picked up a picture frame and hurled it towards his back. It hit his shoulder and skid off. He jumped sky high and turned to see if he was on fire. When he saw me, his face fell underneath his helmet. Then he pointed up the stairs, and motioned for me to come to him. Just as he said that, there was a loud crackle, crumbling noise. His eyes filled with fear as he looked up towards the ceiling. The flames seemed to swallow him up as it fell to the ground, landing on top of him. The walls began to fall around me; I knew I had no other choice. I ran straight into the flames, the heat eating me up. I used my ax to cut through the wood, trying to break it up, and I finally found a piece of his shirt to grab onto. I pulled as hard as I could and felt the wood around him give way. His limp body came up from underneath the pile of rubbish, and I knew I didn?t have much time.
I put him over my shoulder, and as I turned I saw, to my amazement, a young girl, the same one that was in the window, jumping through the hole in the ceiling and landing right in front of me. She was crying, and badly burnt, but she was alive. She ran into my legs and clung on for dear life. I had no other choice but to try to carry her under my free arm. I tried to protect her from the flames as the nipped at our feet and faces, but I could feel her flinching every time they touched her. Using my body as a bomb, I plowed through a week wall and threw myself onto the ground outside. The grass was crisp, and I knew we were still in danger. So, using all my strength, I pushed myself up and ran towards the ambulances and fire trucks. The water rained down on us from the hoses as we made our way out of the hell we had just been in. I was bombarded with emergency medical personnel and the boys. The emergency medical personnel grabbed the girl but before they could get Sammy the boys came and grabbed him, ripping off his face mask.
?Sammy? Sammy! Hey buddy, wake yourself now, huh?? Words slurred with emotion poured from all of their voices, but all I could see was the look on his face when the ceiling began to crumble above him. I could see me, throwing the picture frame at him. I could see him stopping, if only he hadn?t stopped. If only he hadn?t been forced to waste time. Why had I gone in after him? Why had I tried to stop him, he could have saved that girls life. But the girl?s life was saved, and he had a lot to do with that.
?Jack? Jack are you okay? Jack!? I heard the voices as I slipped into the darkness that was overpowering my eyes. I felt like I was floating away into the ocean. A dark peace enveloped me in its cold grasp as I swam farther and farther down into the obscurity.
I woke up minutes later, with an EMP kneeling over me, putting cold water on my face to scrub off the dirt.
I sat up, shaking off the EMP with a few ?I?m okay?s?.
?Where?s Sammy? Where?s the girl?? I asked as I walked towards the boys.
?They took them to the hospital. We gotta finish off this before we can go. Sammy wouldn?t want us to leave a job unfinished.? Justin looked empathetic. ?What happened in there, Jack? You look like you?ve seen a ghost??
?I?m just hoping Sammy?s okay, is all.? I grabbed hold of the hose and helped to aim it at the house.
After a few hours we finally got the fire under control, and a smaller group of firefighters went in to clean up the mess. The boys and I were at last able to go see Sammy at the hospital.
?So what?s wrong with him? When is he going to be okay? You aren?t answering anything, here, Doc.? Andrew was pushing for answers.
?Listen. He?s had extensive head trauma, it?s hard to tell anything right now. There is definite brain damage, which is apparent. He is awake now, but I?m not sure you would want to see him-? That?s all it took. We ran past the doctor, our boots sounding like thunder as we ran down the hall.
? Jesus Christ.? A whisper from Andrew captured the essence of the whole group. Sammy was laying down, his eyes open, his head wrapped in bandages. He had more tubes stuck into him than anything I had ever seen. I was amazed by how burnt he was. His arms were wrapped in gauze, but the blood seeped through.
?Hey guys.? He winced.
?Sammy. Hi. How are you?? Justin was the first to break the silence from us. He walked over to him and sat in a chair next to his bed.
All of a sudden Sammy started screaming out loud, his face broken and burned, and he seemed like a hurt child.
?It hurts! I want my mommy! God it hurts! Ow! Help me it hurts!? His tears streamed down his burnt cheeks, washing away skin as they went.
?Shh. Sammy shh. It?s okay, huh? It?s okay Sammy. You?re going to make it, right? Shh?mommy?s here.? Justin didn?t know if it was okay to touch Sammy, so he just leaned close and whispered.
It was never the same after that accident. It became obvious that Sammy had lost something in that accident. He was demoted from Sergeant, but he will always be the sergeant to us. He can still fight fires with anyone, but his behavior outside of work is childlike. It didn?t change how much we loved him. Nothing could ever change that. It just became his usual behavior and a new normal for us all.


I walked into the station, and there were all the boys, smiling at me, with a huge cake in front of them. I walked over to it, expecting a ?welcome back? or something along those lines. Rather, the cake said ?Took you long enough!?
?Wow, thanks guys. That?s really nice of you. This is just so touching.? I smiled at all of them, cheesy, fake.
?Buddy, we figured you would appreciate it.? Andrew smiled back as he began to cut into the vanilla cake. My favorite. They never failed to remember the small details.
At approximately 8:47, the bell rang, letting us know there was another emergency. We went into action quick, throwing on our clothes and going down the poll. Someone had grabbed the cake and thrown it into the cab next to me.
?It?s a big one, guys. A plane accident. Hit the trade center!? Andrews voice was slightly panicked as he turned the truck down towards the downtown area.
?Do you know which tower?? I asked. I knew I shouldn?t care, but I did. My brother and my dad both worked at the World Trade Center, in the south tower. I did not want them to be hurt. I prayed for them to be okay.
?It?s okay, Jack.? Justin said. ?It hit the North Tower.? He was the only one who knew about my family.
?Okay? It?s not okay! A freaking plane! Shit guys! Look at that!? Davy-boy was for once left without a smart comment.
We were underneath the building, and it seemed like a hundred stories up a fire was roaring. People were jumping out of the building, bodies flailing out the windows. Others were storming out of the door. A crowd had gathered; people with video cameras, people in utter shock. We set to work right away, Andrew, Sammy, Justin, Davy-boy, and I all ran towards the building. We knew first we should get people out of the tower. There were hundreds of other firefighters unloading hoses, screaming orders, it seemed like utter chaos.
We were climbing the stairs, telling anyone we ran into to get out of the building immediately. We knew the hoses were not even close enough in length to reach the fire, at 78 stories up. Sammy was rushing past people, asking if anyone was hurt as he climbed the many, many stairs.
Suddenly, someone was screaming. ?They hit the other tower! The other towers been hit!?
I was in a swirl, I could hear the panic outside as I ran back down the stairs. Step, step, step. Stair after stair, one foot after the other, until I was literally tumbling down the last flight. I ran outside, and to my horror there was the second building, the south tower, on fire. A gaping hole spit black, firey ash into the air; tens of thousands of pieces of paper and chunks of metal rained down to cover the street below. The world was ablaze in fire, smoke, and death.
?Its terrorists! It?s terrorists!? A woman ran past me crying, blood pouring from her face, a piece of metal stuck into her eye. Suddenly she collapsed, I had to help her. I looked up to watch the two buildings standing tall, their height still looming. Instead of power and strength in the buildings, all I saw was horrid darkness. A person whom had apparently jumped out of one of the windows above where the plane had hit landed to my left, and lay like a discarded piece of garbage. Her brown hair was the only sign that it was a woman at all.
Screams for help and terror filled the air, sending chills through my bones. I looked around, and for the first time noticed none of my boys were there. I knew they were okay, we had arrived to late to be affected by the actual attack, now we were helping those that were hurt. Still, something inside me told me worse was to come.
A man ran by me, screaming ?They hit the Pentagon, too! They?re killing us all! We are all going to die!? I did not see his face nor did I care, his words echoed throughout the crowd, and in that moment, he was inside all of us. That voice, those words, filled everyone within hearing distance with pure unadulterated terror.
?Help me! Please!?
?She?s gone! Oh lord, she?s gone! My baby!?
?Where is he? Don?t you know! Where is he? Can?t anyone tell me anything? Where?s my husband! Where is my husband??
?Save her please! Save her! Somebody, anybody! Somebody! She?s dying over here, please! Save my wife!?
?Laura? Laura where are you??
Everyone looked the same, covered in ash and blood, screaming out for the same thing, someone to help them. I tried; I was able to get the lady with the shard of metal in her eye to an ambulance. I helped another person, a man, whose arm had been severly broken when a piece of the building landed on him, to an ambulance. But soon I realized the ambulances were filling up. I noticed people standing, watching the tallest buildings in New York burn up in flames and black smoke.
Somebody yelled something, and in that instant, I saw him. My father was running towards me, screaming about a hurt young man. He carried some sort of blanket in his arms. As he got close, I realized it wasn?t a blanket at all, but my brother, wrapped up in a piece of cloth.
?Jack! Please, Jack, is there some way we can save him? Oh dear God Jack please, please help me!?
He laid the mangled mess down in front of me, and when I removed the cloth from him, I saw his face bloody and distorted, barely even a face at all.
?Joe? Joey wake up!? He had no pulse, I knew he was dead, I had seen it times before. I looked up into my fathers eyes and he knew too. We stood there a moment, in silent tears over the loss of a loved one, and then he hugged me.
?I was so worried, Dad. I was so worried.? I said into his shoulder.
?It?s over now, Son. Your brother is off to a better place now.?
?I have to go help the others, Dad. Get to an ambulance if you can, they?re filling up fast. Hurry, Dad. I?ll find you when I?ve taken care of everyone. I love you, Dad.?
?I love you, too, son.?
Like that I was off, helping other hurt people, trying to find my boys. Where were they? I recalled Sammy and Justin running into the south tower, but I had not seen the others come out of the north tower yet. I decided I?d go over there to see if I could find them. As I made my way towards the towers, the lady next to me screamed again and pointed up.
What I saw filled me with more terror than I had ever experienced in my entire life. The south tower, which stood 1,360 incredible feet tall, was crumbling down. The top seemed to cave into the rest of it, sending a huge cloud of dust and debris outward.
?Get out of the way! Everybody get out! Run!? I screamed to the crowd, trying to get people to run faster, but the streets were flooded with thousands of people. The cloud overtook most of us, and in a split second visibility went from perfectly clear to not even being able to see your own hand. It was completely black, and the air was too thick to breathe. I new which way the tower was and I ran away from that.
You could hear screams but you couldn?t see anything, it was too dark. The ash flowed into my nostrils, onto my tongue, in my throat, there was no escaping it. Something, someone, grabbed onto me, latching onto my shoulder as if I was all he/she had. She was yelling something, but it was almost as though her words had faded into the mass of screams around me. Then I felt her hand go limp, I knew in an instant she had died, there was no way I could save her now.
The dust started to clear, slowly, oh so slowly. Where were my boys? Sammy? Justin? Where were Andrew and Davy-boy? Adrenaline pumped through my veins, my mind seemed to be disconnected from the rest of me. My body was sure in it?s movements, but my thoughts were tentative. I was running towards the rubble that remained of the buildings. I don?t know why but for some insane reason I felt my friends were in that mess, but I felt that they were okay. They?re firefighters, guys like them don?t get seriously hurt, save on rare occasions. I ran back, stopping at every person to see if they were who I was searching for. Everyone looked exactly the same, covered from head to toe in grey, dejected ash.
?Sammy? Johnny! Andrew? Davy-boy?? I heard myself screaming, and I kept screaming. I knew my voice was no clearer than any of the other lost people screaming in agony but I kept trying. Trying was all I had.
Suddenly, my foot hit something and I felt myself tumbling, head over heel, onto the ground, softened by feet of ash. I sat there, in the ash, with my legs pulled up to my chest. I was so empty at that moment. I felt so alone. I just wanted my boys. I looked up to see what had tripped me, and saw, to my amazement, a helmet. It was grey with ash, but in my heart I knew what it was. I stood up and walked over to it. I couldn?t make myself pick it up, so I just stared at it. I stood there probably a whole minute before I got the nerve to bend down and reach for it.
I held it in my hand; its usually cold surface was hot, almost unbearable. The ash covering it was thick, but I wiped it away. The first thing I saw was a name written in black ink, it was charred but it was visible. I read it slowly, letter by letter, letting the pain set in one syllable at a time. D ? A ? V ?Y ? B-O-Y. The name burned itself on my memory. I saw it floating around my head, along with the face that goes with it. My tears were hot on my face, I felt them making their treacherous way through the mountains of ash. I looked around, searching all the faces. Maybe he was still here. Just because his helmet wasn?t on didn?t mean he wasn?t around.
?David? David Clark? David! Davy-boy?? My words slurred with tears, soundless gasps of air. ?David! Please? David!? I was screaming, helpless as all these people holding onto each other for dear life.
The helmet slipped from my grip as I fell to my knees. I put my head in my hands and cried, cried for everything I knew I had lost. All my boys had gone into those buildings. None of them had come out. At least, that?s what I thought, I hadn?t found them.
Something made me look up; I don?t know what it was. The helmet was upside down on the street, it?s inside exposed to the world. I hated to look, but something was in there. A picture mostly covered in blood, but a picture none the less. It was all of us, the whole team, Andrew, Justin, Davy-boy, Sammy, and me, standing around the pole, all of us smiling so wide, all of us so happy. It couldn?t have been that long ago, the memory was fresh in my mind.

?Hurry up, Andrew!? Sammy called out as he clicked the timer on the camera.
?I?m here, I?m here!? Andrew came skidding around the corner, threw his arm over my shoulder, and was standing with seconds to spare before the camera.
Click.
?Well guys, it?s our seventh year together.? I said as I leaned against the pole.
?No way, man. I would ahve been in an insane asylum if it had really been that long!" Davy-boy said as he walked over toe get his helmet. He was always polishing that thing up, writing on it, he was more proud of his helmet than of his actual job.
?One day, Davy-boy, that helmets gunna? crack, and you?re going to have to get a new one. Ever think of that?? Andrew was making dinner over the stove in the lounge of the firehouse, the smell was incredible.
?What?cha cooking in there, Drewster?? Justin looked up from his book; The Living Sacrifice.
?Oh boy let me tell you! We have got ourselves a lovely dish tonight. Beef sirloin grilled to perfection, delicious baked beans slow-cooked for hours to ensure flavor and texture. All of this combined together in my all secret barbeque sauce, served with a big glass of fresh squeezed orange juice to ensure our health!
?Alright! Stagg chili here we come!? I said as I grabbed the soup can off the counter next to the stove. ?Good try, buddy.?
?Shh, it?s a secret! The guys have no idea.? He said, spooning up five dishes of the steaming hot concoction. ?They still don?t know those tacos I ?cooked? last week were really from Taco Time down the street. To them, I?m Mister Gourmet himself!?
We walked into the make-shift dining room and set down the bowls.
?Hey! It?s Stagg chili again! Mmhmm my favorite!? Said Sammy, eyes wide with enthusiasm.
?And Minute-Made orange juice, no pulp added! That?s the only kind, I tell ya!? Justin piped up, eyes smiling.
?Well aren?t you a regular Chef Boyardee!? Davy-boy laughed, spooning his chili into his mouth. After he guzzled down a swig of orange juice, he laughed again.
?This is way better than those damn Taco Time taco?s you?ve been giving us lately. That?s just shit! Talk about a gut bomb! Ick!?
?Don?t worry, Andrew, I still love your cooking. Even if it is just using a can opener. You always did seem pretty good with a can opener; best one we got, that?s for sure!? I patted him on the back.
?Yeah well its food, okay? So eat up!?

Must have just been a few weeks later Davy-boy got that camera developed. I never saw him tape that picture inside his helmet but it didn?t surprise me that he did. He was sentimental, no matter how much he pretended he didn?t like us. For all his sarcasm, there was a heart to that boy that would have saved the world from war if he could have.