story4797.xml

story4797.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-11

I was IN THE AIR when it happened. Flying from Appleton, WI to Denver, and then on to Burbank. My flight left 40 minutes late, at 7:00 a.m.Central time. We arrived in Madison, where we picked up the rest of the passengers. It was a full flight, 50 people.

We were in the air for about 30 minutes, and suddenly we took a sharp right and began to descend. The captain spoke.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, in case you noticed, we took a right turn. We have been ordered to land in Lincoln, Nebraska. There is nothing wrong with this aircraft. We'll explain more when we are on the ground."

My first thought- a plane crashed in Denver. Second, the airport is on fire.

Melissa, the flight attendant, who was so charming and lovely, came onto the speaker and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. Please fasten your seatbelts. Return your seats to their full and upright positions and secure your tray tables. We'll be on the ground in about 5 minutes, and I'm sure you'll understand."

Wow! The plane is silent for a moment. Then the stir of nervous, or angry people, broke the silence. The businessman next to me was handsome and married, therefore non-threatening. We chatted about anything or nothing for a moment. I really don't recall.

Then the pilot told us that an American flight and a United flight had been hijacked and flown into the World Trade Center. We would be sitting on the tarmac a while, and then taken inside the terminal for further instructions. No cell phones yet, however, the man kitty corner to me got out his laptop and got more info for us. The Pentagon, too??

My hands went to my face and I just sat there,
chanting quietly "...just bless 'em, Lord. bless 'em...". From there, my thoughts turned to self-preservation. I felt selfish, and still do. I am not the best long trip traveler, and I knew this was gonna BITE! No way around it. I had thirty dollars in my pocket, WAY too much luggage, (I went with two, but brought things back in an extra bag, totaling 3! Hmmm? 3 bags, 2 arms. Do the math :-(

When we got into the airport, we still had no idea the gravity of the situation. There were no TVs, just people getting information from their families on the pay phone or cell phone. I called my parents from a payphone, and my Dad answered the phone in tears. I heard relief in his voice when he heard mine. He told me what had happened.

After a while, they decided to evacuate the airport, so they put us all on buses headed for the Salvation Army Shelter.

On the way, I was sitting in the back of the bus just listening to people talk. I heard someone say something about one of the hijacked planes being from Newark to San Francisco. We had a flight like that here, too. Suddenly, the old mafia looking guy beside me bursts into tears. I grabbed his knee and held tight, too loaded down with carry-ons to give him a proper embrace. He tells us, he was booked on the 8 o'clock, but arrived at the airport early. He is a United employee, so he went standby for the 7 o'clock flight instead. We all wept. A man across from me, who later became Bob, handed him his cell phone and said, "Call your wife!"

That was amazing, too. People all sharing cell phones. Mine didn't work, and I would later find out that Cingular has no service in Nebraska at all.

Once we got to the shelter, we were told that our luggage would be sent on to its destination, and that we could not have it, even for meds.
The Red Cross would supply any medication that anyone needed. We also saw the TV for the first time. Oh My God! We all wept.

Then the feeling of Oh My God, We were in the air! They could have done anything, to any plane! And I am lucky to be sitting here. A councilor came by our table. We sent her to Mr. Lucky, the man from New Jersey. There were lots of people here: volunteers from the Red Cross and Salvation Army, people in blue shirts with the logo Lincoln Police Dept. Cadet Program, United/Air Wisconsin employees. A neighbor lady and her daughter came up to us when we were waiting outside, and asked us if we would like to go to the mall or something.
The Mall?! I thought, I can?t even THINK about shopping!


(I will say "we" a lot in this narrative.
The second we heard the news on the plane, even if we didn?t know it yet, we became a group,
Flight 5771.)

They fed us, even asked if there were any vegetarians. I am, and the girl next to me. Her name is Camilla, and she is a grad student and a teacher. Our other friend Julie was the one who really started our little group. When I walked up to a seating area in the airport, I had been crying. She gave me the "come sit by me" hand on the chair next to her. I appreciated that.

She and Camilla had horses in common. Camilla was visiting her boyfriend in Madison, but needed to return to Eugene, OR for a horse show she was riding in, and Julie, from Dodgeville, WI was going to a stock show in CA. (my back was starting to hurt from the kindergarten sized chair I was sitting in) John, the cute man next to me at the table, shared his cookies with us. He was from Annapolis, and had flown out of Baltimore, heading to
San Francisco.

After a while, a man came and told us that The Cornhusker- Nebraska's Grand Hotel- wanted to put us up for the duration of our stay, however long that would be. Off we went to yet another holding tank.

We arrived at the hotel, still basically quiet and shaken. When we approached the counter, Camilla said, "I think, in light of the situation, it's quite alright to be Co-dependent, Wanna share a room?" "YES!" I exclaimed!

When we arrived, our luggage had been brought to the hotel from the airport. We were allowed to have it back. I don?t know if they had searched it or not, but we felt lucky that we had it, and it hadn?t been sent on to anywhere!
Camilla helped me get my bags up to the room. So sweet! Our room was lovely, with a view of the state capitol and The Sower, Nebraska's spokes-statue. I thought it was a discus thrower. We watched TV for quite a while. There were so many things we hadn?t heard, unlike the rest of the country; some of who, I understand, saw it happen live!

Camilla, Julie and I headed down to The Lancaster Ballroom, ground zero for us. The room was huge, with a big screen TV on one side, and a regular TV on the other. The news was on. In one corner of the screen was the footage of the planes hitting, and the buildings collapsing, over and over again.
There were round tables with white tablecloths, and long tables in the back of the room that would soon become the daily buffet. The Salvation Army employees we met earlier at the shelter were there, but now there were also many volunteers from the community.

We got some snacks and sat down at a table that had a few other people already there. John, the cookie sharer was there. We went around the table and introduced ourselves. Camilla, Julie, Sandy, Skip, Fern, Suzanne, John, and me. At the time I thought, if ever there?s a time to remember people?s names, it?s right now, and I guess I did!
(except for one lady from Rancho Bernardo in San Diego, with whom I would later have a great conversation about Jewish/Protestant marriages)

We chatted about things for a while, and then Rafael, the spokesman from the airlines, got up to a microphone and began to give us no information. Poor man. Here was a room of distraught folks, confused and tired, and he had the dubious honor of letting us know that we may be here for a while. He didn?t know anything. Bless him! But he did tell us that the hotel was taken care of, and the Salvation Army would feed us. Also, there was a board at the door that would have information for us about meeting times and meal times. These would become our mental increments for measuring time for the next 4 days. Also, channel 1, on the hotel TV would be used to inform us of any meetings, or flights out of Lincoln. Ha!


After our meeting, I mingled a little more, (mingled? What is this, a cocktail party?) and then Camilla and I decided to go back to the room and watch TV. We were glad we had decided to share a room at this point. Even though I was still sitting there in tears, it was better to have another human in the room with me. Camilla was strong, she didn?t really cry too much. She later told me that she cries over little things, and stays together when big stuff happens. I told her, I cry,
Period-The End. Her mother, an American flight attendant, was safe in Madrid, although she wasn?t able to speak to her. Her sister works for a law firm across the plaza from The Twins. She had over-slept, and was getting off the subway when she looked up and saw the first tower come down.
She ran. Lucky girl!

Dinnertime arrived and we headed down to the ballroom. Everybody was there for our 6:00 meeting. There were about 150 folks. Energy was high, because people were understandably anxious.
We were offered sub sandwiches and pizza. There were tubs with ice holding all sorts of soda and water. Rafael spoke. He knew nothing, bless him!


Camilla and I decided to go back to the room for phone calls and TV. We also agreed that we wanted to leave the TV on all night. We turned the volume down, and were asleep by ten.

Wednesday was pretty much the same. More waiting and eating, more news and sadness. Increasing agitation, and love. More meetings about nothing. Rafael showed up every day with one more person in his crew. I think he was getting nervous. Now we were bonding with Cheryl, his cohort. They were such nice people. Cheryl told us that United Express had been bought by
Air Wisconsin. When they started working in Lincoln, the paper did comics about their bad service. We couldn?t believe it. They were handling this crisis SO WELL! Bob said he was writing the editor of the Lincoln newspaper to tell them how wonderful these people were, and how wonderfully Lincoln was treating us. I watched him type.

Did I mention that at breakfast, there was a woman playing inspirational songs on the piano, and the Red Cross nurse was singing? Oh, and a lady came around with homemade bread she had baked and brought down to the hotel. I asked her if she was the Ho that Made it? She laughed after a minute J Lincoln has a sense of humor.

(As I try to share some of the more positive things about my journey with you, I still have to say, this was quite possibly the hardest emotional trip of my life.)

Camilla and I took some subs, candy bars, soda and water up to the room. I was traveling with 3 bags of Fabulous Wisconsin Cheese Curds! We made a make shift refrigerator by putting all our stuff on the air-conditioner with a towel draped across. There was no telling where we would be tomorrow, but we were ready with some rations!

We decided to take a walk down to the old historic shopping district, The Haymarket. It was fun. There was a shop called From Nebraska, where I bought tiny Nebraska playing cards, and some From Nebraska Cajun Dip Mix. Is there a large concentration of Cajun folk in Nebraska, I didn?t know? We walked back to the hotel and it was so hot. Well, it?s all relative because I live in The Valley. But it was 80 degrees, and I had on a sweater. We hadn?t been outside since they took us to The Cornhusker. Another meeting, then back to the room. John wanted to go to the gym, but I never saw him in there. We all were out of sorts by this time.

We would check Channel 1 periodically to no avail.
Camilla went to the hotel?s business center and did some emailing. I talked on the phone. More TV. We did a lot of chatting about how we were lucky to be in Lincoln. (We felt safe, especially when Airforce One was in Nebraska. We knew the air was being patrolled!) In Omaha, people were at a hotel, but on cots in a ballroom. They had 50 something flights. We had 5.

Thursday we notice on Channel 1 that the flight from Baltimore to San Francisco was heading to the airport at 7:30 a.m. It was 7:45! Good thing we weren?t on that one.

Hope! Maybe we?d get home today! We were nervous about what would happen once we got to Denver. We were only guaranteed to get out of Lincoln, and to be flown to the plane?s destination. There was only 1 man actually going to Denver! What would we encounter there? Glad Camilla and I had been saving snacks.

Check out time was 11:30 a.m. and they asked us all to go ahead and check out, and wait in the ballroom for our turn. Camilla and I took a quick walk to Walgreen?s. She needed to mail her fancy pliers that were a gift from her man, home, because they would surely be taken away at the airport. The other scary thing was that we had NO idea if we would be allowed our carry-ons. Or even a purse. I packed and re-packed. I was traveling with old family photographs! Impossible to replace.

We sat in the ballroom for a while. Our group was dwindling. Bob and a couple of other folks from Baltimore got together and rented a car and started driving on Wednesday. People?s family members drove in from all kinds of places to pick up their loved ones. I needed to stay with the ship. No matter what, this was the ticket I purchased, and I had no other choice.

I saw Mr. Lucky by the buffet, so I went up and hugged him. I told him his nickname, and he told me a story that made me weep. Turns out, his wife works for United, too. All morning people had been consoling her and giving her condolences. Everyone knew he was on That Flight. She refused to believe it. They had a pact. If she heard nothing, he was all right. They would just trust. She kept completely calm, until he called her from the bus. THEN, she wept! I finally got his real name, Phil. What a great man! Julie took our picture.

Our flight was called to a bus!!!! Woo Hoo! It?s lookin? good! I was nervous. We were leaving our ?safe zone?. What next? My anxiety was growing, but I had snacks! Camilla helped me with my bags.
Lovely girl!

We got to the airport. There was Rafael, half dead from lack of sleep, at the counter with Cheryl. They had been awake for the duration of this experience. We got checked in and whew! We could have carry-ons. Camilla and I got seats together, but now, a flight of 50 had dwindled down to 17.
We waited for a long time in the gate area. I couldn?t believe it! Even with the constant reminder to stay with our bags, a man was actually arguing with the guard that was admonishing him. What was he? New? These are F?ed-up times, man. Why are you hassling this guard who is doing his job to PROTECT US! Argh!

Just then, a nice Salvation Army councilor came to chat with our little group. She told us that they were sponsoring us for yet another meal! We should go to the restaurant where we would have an $8 credit towards lunch. I had a brownie sundae and Camilla had jalapeno poppers. Comfort foods, for sure! As we sipped the last of our complimentary beverages, they called us for boarding!!! Flight 5771, now boarding. People in the room cheered! They were still waiting for their flights. Off we went into the unknown. They took my carry-on at the door of the plane and checked it.

Melissa!! We missed you! Our flight attendant was there, along with the Captain and First Officer, now I can?t remember their names! Let?s call them Capt. Karl and Officer Mike. We got in the air and she took some time to tell us her experience from Tuesday.

She knew all along what had happened. She and the captain decided not to tell us until we were on the ground. If you?ve ever been on a 50 seater you know that the jump seat is there facing the passengers. Melissa had to sit there, on the verge of tears, and face us as we landed in Lincoln. I felt for her, she was so strong. She knew some of the fallen flight attendants, too.

We landed in Denver and it was so very bumpy! A little un-nerving. As we taxied to the gate, Melissa told us where our luggage would be, and that we?d need to go to the counter to rebook our flights.
When we walked out of the plane, there was no one except security. No employees, no passengers. It was so weird. We all went to our luggage together, our little band of gypsies. When we got to the counter, there was no one! It was all dark and quiet. We found an employee, and her response was, ?who are you and what are you doing here??

We didn?t know! Well, we knew who we were, Flight 5771. They sent us here. The employee said, ?well they shouldn?t have, we are closed!? What could we have done about it? This was so weird. One of the husbands told us all to stay together, he would find out what was up. We were nervous.

United decided to put us up. We went to a counter for hotel and food vouchers. Wait! One person is assigning some of us to the Red Lion and some of us to the Doubletree. We were NOT pleased. A lady said, ?No, we want to stay together!? Funny, I was thinking that, but someone else said it. We decided it was OK because we could meet for dinner; the hotels were near each other. Whew, still a group.

We waited forever for the shuttle to come and get us. Then a 30-minute drive to the hotels. It was Julie, Camilla, Betsy and I in the Red Lion. The rest went on to the other. We checked in, and went to our rooms for TV and phone calls.

We met the gang at 7:00 in the lobby of the Doubletree. Gilbert, the 92-year-old WWII vet traveling alone to his reunion met us, too. He was so sweet. Peggy offered to call and rebook his flight. He decided to go on to Arizona for his meeting. Peggy spent a long time on hold with United, at which point we formed a chain. We had been told we were now on our own to rebook, along with the rest of the country. Yikes! No priority treatment for being stranded? The chain was very effective. When one person finished, they handed off the payphone to the next person and then went to alert the next person waiting at our dinner table. Quite a few of us got our flights booked with this teamwork!

I couldn?t get a flight to Burbank, my original destination, so I choose the 9 a.m. to LAX the next day. Some people couldn?t even get booked until Saturday or Sunday!!! I was lucky to be heading close to home!

I had the most fabulous Portobello mushroom avocado sandwich! It was the best thing I?d had to eat in days. Spicy Brown Mustard instead of plain yellow. We talked for a long time, got to know a little more about one another. Gilbert was a flirtJ
And the young married couple was so sweet. They were on their 12-year anniversary trip. We were having a great time, but it was getting late, so we decided to call the shuttle.

Our little group said goodbye. Some of us would not see each other again. My time with my roomie was getting short, too. We had bonded, and because I actually AM a little co-dependent, I was scared to go on the next leg of the journey without her. She was so calm throughout the whole experience. I drew a lot of strength from her, but it was clear, she was getting tired, too. Her flight would not leave until 9pm the next night! IF it left at all! I heard from her later, that her flight WAS canceled and she and Betsy rented a car and drove back to Oregon!

We headed back to our hotel. Betsy had laundry in a machine. She had been camping on her vacation to Wisconsin, and all she had was dirty camping clothes. And talk about too many bags! Bless her heart, she was really loaded down with gear. (She had a tent, which we joked that we might need in the airport the next day!) It made my three suitcases seem more manageable, somehow. It?s all in the perspective.

Back in our room, we watched more TV and made more phone calls. The news was saying the airports were open, but what did they know? (My mother kept saying during this whole thing, ?The news said flights will begin today?, and I?d say, ?That?s funny, Mom, Rafael doesn?t know that and we?re still sittin? in Lincoln!?)

As I re-packed yet again, Camilla watched TV. I decided to take a shower, and when I went in the bathroom, I was not alone. A big ol? roach sat there looking at me like ?what are YOU lookin? at??
Ah, this was NOT The Cornhusker: Nebraska?s Grand Hotel!

I couldn?t sleep. We were told to call the 800 number to make sure the flights were going. I tried but couldn?t get through. What did I have to loose? We would have to go to the airport anyway to get new hotel and food vouchers, I may as well pretend like I?m going to get on a flight.

5:00 am. I?m up, I?m nervous, and I?m getting ready to go. Camilla didn?t need to get up, but she did. We hugged, she wished me good luck, and one last time, she helped me with my bags! I could not have gotten through this without her, and I knew it! We agreed to call each other on our cell phones during the day, to stay in touch. It was unclear what would happen at the Denver airport, and our experience the night before did not give us much hope for their organizational skills.

I went down to the lobby. I was all alone except for the desk clerk. I had my $4 breakfast voucher, and with it I got a large latte! Dairy even! They don?t have a lot of soymilk in Denver, I guess. I sat there in a chair. I had a reservation for the 6:45 am shuttle to the airport. It was 6:20. I felt so alone. I sat there in tears. The clerk seemed concerned but didn?t say anything. I was getting good at crying without any noise. I would just sit there calmly, but I could do nothing about the tears streaming down my face.


Would I get home after lugging all my stuff to the airport? Would I spend the next day on the floor, eating the sub sandwiches from the Salvation Army? Glad I had snacks!

A shuttle pulled up and the man asked me if I was ready. (NO!) I said yes, and asked if it was OK for me to go on the earlier shuttle. I was the only one waiting, so that was a silly question, I realized. This man had no idea how tired and weird I was by this time. And alone.

The shuttle headed over to the other hotel. On the curb waiting was Sandy & Skip! I knew them! The tears streamed again. I think Sandy noticed. They were happy to see me, too. We talked about things, and helped the man next to us figure out what flights he might be able to get on. He didn?t care, whatever would get him over the mountain! He?d drive the rest of the way to San Diego!

We arrived at the airport and I saw my lifeboat! The little cart things that you get for 2 bucks. How wonderful that I could relax about something. The guy took my bags out of the back and I loaded them onto the cart. Sandy, Skip and I went in the airport to get in line. OH! The lines! The airport was much different this morning than it was last night. People everywhere, employees with clipboards, news crews reporting on the First Day back in the air. It was unbelievable.

Sandy and Skip got in line and I followed. I didn?t want to loose my group, albeit smaller now. As I stood there looking around at the lines in disbelief, I realized that we had cut. There was an opening in line where a United lady with a clipboard was checking people?s tickets. Sandy had gotten in line in the wrong place! Oh, what would I do? I?m a big believer in the whole integrity thing, such as, what you do when no one is looking speaks to who you really are. More tears.

I looked at the couple I was with, retired and definitely over 65. I looked as far as I could see, and I could not even find the end of the line. I knew Sandy thought she had gotten in the line at the end, they weren?t the cuttin? kind. I had a decision to make. My back throbbed as I thought. I was SO scared to be alone. I kept my mouth shut. I knew I wouldn?t ask them to go back to the end, and I didn?t want to leave them. I closed my eyes and asked for forgiveness. No one was yelling at us, and I was so tired. I stayed, and I still feel icky about it.

I cut in line! Does tragedy really bring out the worst in us? I had just seen the most wonderful outpouring of love and caring from the people of Lincoln. I had felt the caring from all the people on Flight 5771. I accepted my decision and stood there for what became 2 hours.

I said goodbye to Sandy and Skip and approached the counter. I asked the woman if there would be any way they would get me a shuttle from LAX to Burbank, since Burbank was my final destination. She said, you?ll have to ask when you get there. So far, the United employees I had been praising two days earlier were becoming surlier. Another point for Lincoln! I realized how lucky we were to have been in Lincoln.

I took my boarding pass and headed to the gate. As I rounded the corner I found it, the end of the line. There was no doubt in my mind that I had missed out on at least 4 hours of waiting. I would have missed the flight I had begged to get. I would have been stranded in Denver for sure. I breathed a sigh of relief, and then the tears came again. I am a bad person. I put my own interests ahead of others. I unintentionally cut in line and kept my moth shut. What would be next? Looting? Taking candy from a baby? I didn?t know.

I found the line for the x-ray machines. It was downstairs. Where was the elevator? Who knew?
I walked for a while in tears, pushing my blessed cart. Finally I found one, and as I reached out to put my hand on the door to keep it open for my cart, it closed on my hand! And there was even a woman standing in it looking at me! Karma? I hoped that was all I was going to get. I could deal with that. I said a few choice words, and cried.

Once I got downstairs, I found the END of the line. As I got in it, I saw Gilbert being pushed towards me in a wheel chair. A familiar face. Mine lit up.
So did his. We said hi, and he told me he was going home. He had missed his reunion and was going home. I cried. That was probably his last chance to see all those guys he had fought with in WWII! After all, he?s 92! Oh, I was so sad, but I kept smiling at him. The porter pushing him asked if we were together. I said we knew each other but were not going to the same destination. I didn?t need to go into detail. He asked if I wanted to come with them. But that would mean going through the handicapped gate and bypassing the line! I couldn?t do it! I HAD to stand in line! I told the guy Thankyou, but I would stay in line. Gilbert and I said goodbye, and I cried. I cried all the way through the line.

They didn?t search my bags, but they were searching some people?s. I got through and headed towards the little train that takes you to your gate area. Denver Airport was huge but very well planned. I found a customer service desk and asked again about the shuttle to Burbank. The lady took my original ticket and went in the back. After a while she came out and said, there are a lot of special things we are doing, but that isn?t one of them, sorry. She started to throw my old ticket away. I said, ?Wait! I?m saving that!? She looked at me like I was a freak! She had no idea what kind of trip I had been on, and Lady, I am making a scrapbook! I took my little ticket and headed towards my gate.

I got to the gate and sat down. Out the window was our aircraft, a 757 to Los Angeles. I got nervous.
It was 8:30 now, and the flight was scheduled to leave at 9:00 am. The folks behind the counter were constantly forming a little huddle. Then they?d get on the speaker and apologize for the confusion, but they had so many new rules to follow, and we also didn?t have a pilot yet. More waiting.

My phone worked in Denver! I called my parents. I was trying to stay positive and keep control. I called my friend Jeanette, too. I wanted to ask her if she could keep watching my kitties, because I knew that IF I made it to LA, I would have to get immediately in the car and drive to San Francisco, where I had a gig that weekend. (My first gig with this band. I had never rehearsed with them, and as the clock ticked, it began to look like I never would.) Jeanette didn?t even let me speak before she asked if I needed a ride home from LAX! I cried, ?Oh Thank You! That?s not what I called for but Thank You! Yes!? She told me that there were no cars allowed at the curb. I would need to take a bus to a parking lot and she?d find me. Yikes, but at this point, whatever!

On TV was the prayer service. I could hear it, but couldn?t see the TV. The lady came on the speaker and said, ?The President has asked for 60 seconds of silence at 12:00 pm. It was 11 in Denver, but it was time. You could have heard a pin drop. The only sound you could hear was the toll of the bells in the cathedral in New York. I felt like I was hearing them live, from New York straight to my ears. The silence was eerie. If you?ve ever heard silence in an airport?I had never.

I am still in tears. God, how embarrassing. No sound, mind you, just the tears. Three armed police officers approached a businessman near me. He was of Middle Eastern decent, but American in dress and speech. The officer asked him for his ticket and ID. Another took his Palm Pilot and started doing something to it. The officer
asked him where he was going, even though he had the man?s ticket in his hand. He asked the man the reason for his traveling. The man had this look on his face, a look of resignation, not indignation or irritation. It was, to me, the beginning of a new time. A time when people look suspiciously at each other, and yet a time when we need to be super cautious. I noticed that he was the only Middle Eastern looking person in the gate, and the only person questioned. The officers had obviously had some sensitivity training, because they were kind and quiet with the man. No accusations, just doing a job. A job of keeping everyone safe, including this dark skinned American man. After all, these were just the first hours of flights resuming. I wept.

This time I felt overwhelmed. With fear. With sadness. With deep emotions I had never felt before this moment, some I can?t even name.
With prayers on the TV above me, I started to hyperventilate, quietly. I put my head between my legs, but then I thought, don?t loose sight of your bags!!!!!! How strange the human mind can be. I was going to follow the directions, even through passing out on the floor! I looked up and put my hands through the handles on my purse and pulled my Pullman up close to me and touched it, then put my head between my legs.

I thought of my Yoga Zone video, of Jean?s calm voice, of my breathing. I started to feel better. The man next to me put his hand on my back and asked if I was OK. I said, ?I will be, Thank You?.
It was now about 11:40 am on Friday, and they called for boarding.

The lady said that they wanted to board a little differently today. Instead of 1st class, then others, they would board only by row, and from the back of the plane. Strangely enough, nobody really crowded the door like they usually do. Pretty much everyone stayed seated until his or her row was called.

I was first up. I approached the gateway door and felt unbelievable anxiety and relief in the same moment. I said quietly to myself, ?I can?t believe I?m on the way home! The man in front of me asked me if I was OK. Of course, I?m in tears. I said yes, Thankyou. Always a polite Texan.

On the ride home I had a great talk with the Chinese man next to me. We had a slight language barrier, and on another day, I might have put my earphones on and continued learning my lyrics for my gig that weekend, but today I felt like being connected. We talked the whole way home, about Jackie Chan movies (I?d never seen one, but somehow I was enthralled with his opinion of them), about his wife and kids, about the weird snack plate we were given. I had eaten all my snacks while waiting for this flight; peanut butter cups, a turkey sub, twizzlers. When in doubt, eat something.

We landed at LAX, I said goodbye to my new friend, and headed to the baggage claim area. Yea! My bags arrived, and I had a cart, all was well. But then I realized no one was really showing us where to go or what to do. People were just standing on empty curbs. I asked a security person and she pointed us towards a bus pick-up area. Tons of people were waiting, and every bus that passed us here at terminal 7, was full and went right on past! I saw a cab behind me and I asked him if he would drive me to Parking lot C. He laughed, but said yes. They were going to have a lot of short drives today.

I landed in parking lot C and Jeanette arrived shortly afterwards. She got out of the car and we hugged and cried. This time I vocalized. I was so full of emotions they were now spilling out. I was so happy to see my friend! When we got in the car we just started spilling stories and feelings. It was so good to be talking to someone I knew! I had been with virtual strangers, disguised as family for the last 4 days! I offered to take her to our favorite place, Don Cuco in Toluca Lake. She took a rain check, as she had taken off of work to come and get my happy ass. And as we entered my little house, my ass was indeed happy!

We hugged, she left, and I was alone in my house. Breakdown! I held my cats, much to their dissatisfaction. They hate me for a while when I come home from long trips. I was home, but for a moment. In short, (because this has taken me a month to write down anyway), I repacked, got in the car, and headed north. I made it to the gig, performed at my all-time lowest quality, drove home, and collapsed. I was completely spent. I was at an all-time low. It was Sunday night, September 16th. It had essentially taken me 6 days to get home from a week?s vacation in Wisconsin! Oh yeah, for those of you worried about the cheese curds, they made it. Well, I was only slightly queasy when I ate them later.

As I remember that week of September 11th, I remember those folks in Lincoln. Their true sense of community. I remember the people from our planes, strangers, who came together to comfort each other and wait on the world?s next move. I remember my friend Camilla, and the others from Flight 5771. But most of all, I remember those who died. Those sweet, sweet souls who lost their lives in this attack on the human spirit. The people we will hear stories about for the rest of our lives, lest we forget. I want to hear their stories, and cry with them, it?s all I have to give, really. Soon, I will feel like entertaining again, but for now, I do it because I think I should, it?s the gift I have to give, and I will give it! And if I can get up the nerve, I?ll give blood, too.

Thanks for listening to my tale, and visit this website for info on our little family, Flight 5771. http://www.geocities.com/fl5771/
In the picture, the girl in the hat is I!

I love you all-

Cristina