email383.xml

email383.xml

born-digital

email

unknown

yes

2002-08-19

Hey guys. Whats up? Sorry I haven't called anybody but I don't really want
to talk about anything. The past day things are really startin to process as
far as what happened and whats gona happen. Part of me wants to get the
hell out of NY for even just a couple days but I think if I was any place
other than here all I would want to do is get back. I have been on bucket
bergade a couple times. When your there in the mess you don't want to leave
but they allow 11hr shifts. Then when you get home you don't want to go
back, but you can't sleep and all you do is watch it on TV. Then you feel
guilty and thats the only place that you feel you should be. Especially once
you've been there and witnessed it. I know you guys see the shit on TV but
like say on the news it really doesn't do it justice. People here feel
pretty helpless because you feel like at anytime somethin else is gona
happen. In one day we had over 90 bomb threats. Grand Central, Penn
Station and Macy's were all evacuated around the same time. A big fear
people have now is once we do go after these fuckers that chemical warfare
could become a reality any day, which is a fucked up feelin, especially when
your in the subway. The smell is starting to get pretty unbearable even if
your 80 blocks away you can still smell it. Even with your windows shut.
Two nights ago a bunch of us got together at Jake's, a bar we hang out at and
at around midnight the manhole covers started exploding all the way up
Amsterdam Ave. right outside the bar with blue flames shootin out of the
street... I guess a gas main blew. Everybody was evacuated. Its like we
can't even sit in our fucking bar, chill out and have a drink, and thats the
only place your gona get any type of comfort. You go fucking crazy sittin
home which is where I have been since yesterday. But its impossible right
now to go back to a normal life. There is also a serious back lash towards
anybody who resembles a Muslim... My buddy Rich lives in Queens, a block
from Little Arabia, and they are on the brink of rioting against these
people. Two days ago a cab driver was chased down the street... he hopped
back in his cab and blew through a red light to get away and went head on
into a service truck. I hate to say it, I know its wrong and I don't agree
with it but I can understand the hate people are feeling. Aside from that
people are really pullin together just like they are there. In order to
volunteer you have to wait in a line that has to be at least a quarter of a
mile, and there are volunteer stations all over the place. Whats so
amazing to me is all the types and ages of people in these lines who have
been down there already or on there way for the first time knowing, or not
knowing that what they are about to see and do is gona change them for the
rest of there life. As we know shit is gona get a hell of a lot worse,
this is nothing compared to whats commin. I'm not tryin to be dramatic but
when I hear people sayin we have to stop this vengeful type of thinking it
makes me sick. Thats why we are in this mess now. I think people should
watch every image on TV as gruesome as it gets and take it all in because
when the shit goes down and we go after these fuckers I hope it will make
people understand a little better that we had no other choice.
Anyway.
ek

Sat 9/15/2001 6:03 PM

(no subject)