lc_story95.xml

lc_story95.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2003-12-17

I am the head of an office of lawyers who work for the judges of the Eighth Circuit United States Court of Appeals. I had arrived at work in the federal courthouse in St. Louis, Missouri, early that day, and when I pulled into the parking garage, the news had not yet broken on the radio. One of my staff members arrived a short while later, and asked if I had heard anything about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. I said, "No," thinking it was some wild and untrue rumor. We decided to turn on the television set we have in the office, and we learned it was true. As most people did at that point, we thought it was some freak accident, and I returned to my office to work. Shortly thereafter, the staff member came to tell me she had just watched a second plane hit the World Trade Center, and a wave of fear swept through me. I sent an e-mail message to all 25 of my staff alerting them to the situation and inviting them to come to the television room. We all watched and the news began reporting the suspicion of terrorism; then the plane hit the Pentagon. I decided I wanted to send my staff home for their safety. One of the news reporters mentioned that our courthouse is the tallest federal courthouse in the country. I consulted with the resident Eighth Circuit Judge at about 8:45 Central time, and he approved my letting my staff go home. I sent them all home at about 9:00 a.m., although some chose to stay. Having learned that all planes had been grounded, I elected to stay, as the judges (almost all of whom were in St. Louis that week) had decided to go on the bench to hear oral arguments. Not knowing what else to do, I attended a meeting at 9:30 with other court staff and the judges' secretaries, at which we discuss IT issues. Everyone was there, but very jittery, and when we heard a loud "thump," we got up and left the meeting as one. I returned to my office and called my mother. I did not feel too frightened once I was confident all the planes had been grounded. The blocks around the courthouse were cordoned off by armed federal marshals, and the courthouse was built with many security features, so I also felt confident we would not be attacked by a truck bomb. I had a meeting scheduled with one of the judges that afternoon, so I stayed at work. Mid-afternoon, the judge called me from his hotel, surprised I was still at the office, and told me we would reschedule the meeting. About 3:00 or so, the Chief District Judge and the U.S. Marshal finally decided to close the building. At that point, I left and collected my 5-year-old daughter from day care. I'm sure at some point I called my husband, but I don't recall specifically when. I know many family members called the office before 9 a.m. to make sure their daughter/son/wife/or husband was all right, and to encourage them to leave.

Scanning the sky for airplanes. My office is on the corner of the 23rd floor of the 28-story federal courthouse, and has large windows. I remember scanning the skies frequently that day, looking for airplanes.

I feel the sense of patriotism and unity that swept over us in the days and weeks following is still present, although in a more subdued fashion. Although commentators said we would never feel safe again, I believe people have returned to a more normal state. We can shop, vacation, be entertained, and even be rude to each other, and not feel guilty. I am disappointed that these feelings allowed the President to involve us in the war in Iraq, which to me squandered the higher value of these feelings, and also squandered the good feelings other countries had toward us.