story516.xml

story516.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-05-06

I was at home getting ready to go to work for the day.It was a little before 8:00am. The TV was on with Good Morning American when the reports of the first plane hitting the WTC came on. Until then, I had only been half listening, going about my normal routine (It was a beautiful, sunny day in Kansas City as well). While this was sad news, and many people were dying, this type of thing happens. So, other than the initial sadness and "oh those poor people" thought that you, I went on about my business.

But, what I didn't expect was to turn around to get something out of my closet and hear on TV, "Another plane has hit the WTC!" I turned around in time to see flames and debris flying everywhere. All I could do was sink onto the edge of my bed, stunned. I don't think I was able to breath for a while there...This surely can't be an accident...the day was too pretty and clear on the TV screen. What then? How in the world could this happened?

My husband, Tom, had left for work and my two daughters had already left for school so only my 8 year old son was home with me. He was watching cartoons and didn't really ask too many questions because he was in the other room and didn't seen to comprehend. It was just like watching an action movie on TV for him. Heck, I wish I was still that naive and didn't have to know the truth. I think my silent reaction helped to keep him calm. I don't think, well, I know that he doesn't and won't for a long time, understand the ramifications of what happened.

I ended up being about 25 minutes late for work. I just couldn't seem to get things together. I called a co-worker on her cell phone. She was on her way to work, but hadn't heard the news yet. I told her, well, I'm not sure what happened but they are saying it couldn't have been an accident. What then? Aren't we, the big, mighty USA safe from those pathetic a-holes out there? We have no enemies...we are safe and take care of other countries... who would want to harm us? We're the good guys, dammit!!!

I got to work and my husband, Tom, called to ask if I had heard and we told eachother "I love you". We talked for a few minutes more but there really wasn't anything to say besides "I love you".

With each occurrance of terrorism that day, my feelings just kept going deeper and deeper, numb, shaky, nauseous, mad, angry, pissed..SCARED!!! The only sense of loss I could compare it to was the day my Dad died...and I didn't know anyone, or even know anyone who knew anyone, that was lost or injured in any of the catastrophes of 9-11.

About 2:00 that afternoon, our boss called to tell us that we had better leave to go get gas because "they" were saying the prices were going sky-high. So, my co-worker and I each went to get gas. It was busy, but not horribly so, at Quik Trip. While sitting in line to get gas, I got even madder. Here, thousands of people are dying and we selfish people are concerned with high gas prices. Yet, the businesses were just as heartless as the terrorist--they were the ones charging the prices!!!! By 5:00pm, some gas stations here were charging more than $5.00 per gallon (Compared to the $1.25 it had been that morning). Needless to say, those gas stations are in a lot of trouble, as they should be.

Tom and I went straight home that day after work to be with our kids. While I had the comfort of my three kids with us in our home, my step-sons live about 50 miles away. There just really wasn't any true peace because our entire family wasn't together. Even being more than a thousand miles away, we were scared silly. It just took everything out of us, mentally, physically and spritually.

While the normalcy of our lives in the Mid-West didn't really change, I know my life did. Being only 16 and 18 years older than my daughters, we experienced this horrible thing together. This was the first horrible thing like this to happen to our country in our lifetime...that we could relate to and feel anyway. I tried to answer all of their questions as honestly as I could and comforted them when I got home--the girls had watched it all day long in school and had even seen the buildings going down.

I always thought of the United States as being off-limits to these kinds of things. Operation Desert Storm was too far away for me...it didn't sink in at the age of 19. We were living in Oregon when the OK city bombing occurred so that seemed like a whole world away and it was even orchestrated by our own people--even though I hate to call them US citizens--they were. My daughters were younger than my son is now when that happened. So, thank goodness, they really don't remember that.

So, it being almost 9 months later, I try to continue being nicer to people like I was for a while after 9-11. I try to remember how fortunate and lucky I am to have a wonderful Mom and brothers (and Dad who I miss dearly), the best husband and our combined (almost "brady bunch") family of 5 kids. I try not to take things for granted, even though I do.

I think of all of the people out there who have lost someone or something because of this..To you I say I am sorry that other human beings could do this to you. I wish I could change things, knowing I can't, but I do think of all of you and pray for you and your loved ones.