story1938.xml

story1938.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-09

I am Brazilian and I live in Paris with my French husband. On Sept 11 2001, it was about 3pm in France and I was at work. I called a Brazilian friend who also lives in Paris to chat, and the moment she answered she asked me if I was calling "because of the plane that hit WTC". I didn't know anything about it, neither did she know anything else, and I just tried to seek information on the internet. Instinctively I tried to load some Brazilian news sites; one of them still had its normal frontpage, the other one had this caption "plane hits WTC" and that was it.

I emailed my brother and a friend in Brazil, who I knew would be connected at that time (10am in Rio), asking them if they had any other information. I tried to connect to French news sites, nothing was on, and then tried to connect to CNN, which took a long time to load.

In the meanwhile, my brother Gustavo and my friend Luiz had answered saying that apparently a second plane had hit the other tower. I felt as if I was going to fall, my heartbeats accelerated and I was really scared. Still, I couldn't get any news from any other website, and I was embarassed to pass along the news on the office because I was afraid it wasn't real, or maybe it was just a mistake made by the Brazilian news sites... When I finally got CNN and I confirmed it, I told the people working with me what was happening. Everybody thought it was a joke; I remember my boss coming out of a meeting and not wanting to hear it, thinking everyone was making fun of him.

The emails exchange between my brother, my friend and I continued. I can still remember when my brother wrote me saying that they had hit the Pentagon. There were also some rumours and I have this email where my brother "yells" "oh my God, they just hit the United Nations building". I thought he was talking about the Swiss one, and then I thought it was the end of the world and that all capitals in Europe would be attacked. I was really afraid and wanted to go home to be with my husband - but I kept trying to call him in the mobile and he just didn't answer. I also tried to call my mom in Brazil, I really thought this was the beginning of WWIII and that an atomic bomb would fall in some minutes. I never felt so scared in my life.

The time passed and I got a bit calmer when I understood there was no threats in Europe (for that moment); still I was afraid and really sorry for all the people in the WTC. I remember helping my friend Luiz call his dad, who was in NY that day; he finally made to call him. I also remember the cold reaction my boss' boss had when learning it - "oh, that's nothing, now go back to work and call the ad agency". I'll never forget that - I was there saying "but don't you see? things will never be the same again!" and she was like "nah, they'll just arrest some people and that's it". Little did she know about all the impacts on economy that would follow -specially on our industry, Tourism...

My brother told me "go home as soon as you can" - he was afraid for me being in Paris, an important capital in Europe - "and don't go near the Eiffel Tower". Well, I instantly calculated - the tower is at 2km from my home... I finally got my husband on the phone and I told him I'd be going home as soon as possible and if he could please do the same. In the company I worked at the time, nobody got to go home sooner, nor did we have TV sets or radios - we were supposed to be working normally! I'll never understand this reaction. I did call the ad agency and they answered "are you nuts? we're not working, the world is changing!". I felt relieved...

On my way home, I was really afraid of a terrorist attack on the subway. When I finally got home, I was able to call my mom and talk for a while, both of us crying and not knowing what would happen next. I really hoped at that time to be in Brazil with my family and husband, I still think it'd be safer for that matter. I watched the news on TV all night long, crying everytime I saw the images of the planes hitting the towers. I still think about how people on the planes felt, knowing that it would crash.

Today, 2 days before the 1-year anniversary of the attacks, I want to say that I am feeling very sorry for all the people who died in that day, for all the families that lost someone - because I know how hard it is. I try to see both sides of the question - how the international US policies are somewhat responsible for all this hate, and also how unfair it was to kill so many innocents. And I pray for the souls of those who died, I pray for the familes, and also pray for a better world, where there will be a better comprehension of the differences between people and where all decisions will be made based on global needs, not individual ones. America has now the possibility of doing better; let's not let revenge destroy the world.