story9920.xml

story9920.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2003-09-11

Since I am originally from New York, I thought it was a little more than strange when a co-worker popped her head into my office the morning of 9/11 to let me know "a plane had flown into the Twin Towers." Sitting at my desk, where I worked at a hotel in Virginia Beach, I suddenly had a very bad feeling.

I went into the restaurant in the hotel lobby and of course on TV was the vision of the burning Tower. I was in shock. No body there could understand however, because no one knew how astronomically big the Towers were. They were all native Virginians, they had never been to the World Trade Center. They thought a tiny little plane had accidentally lost control and hit the building. I tried to explain to them that a-that was more than a tiny plane, b-how big the Towers were, and the hole in the building had to be at least 10 stories and c-planes don't fly over NYC so something was not right. They didn't get it until the second plane hit. I think I screamed but can't remember, maybe it was just in my head. I sat on the floor but my eyes never left the television as I watched.

A million thoughts were running through my head...family & friends in NY who worked in the city, where were they, who did this, am I safe? I called my boyfriend to let him know what was going on (he was home sleeping). He picked up the phone and by then I knew...my exact words were "America is under attack." He hung up, thought I was joking or something. I called back on told him to turn on the f**king TV, any channel. He did and said "Oh my God" then hung up.

It was absolutely horrible to be in another state, surrounded by people who didn't know or had never been to Manhatten...they couldn't understand why I was so upset, they didn't get the mass destruction, the lives lost. As we watched the first tower fall and then the next, I think they began to get it. I didn't talk for a long time. People kept coming up to me and asking me if I knew anyone in the city; all I could do was nod my head. I had been to the Twin Towers a million times, but had always taken advantage of them. They were there, a part of the city. I never knew their beauty until they were gone.

I remember after the second tower crumbled I had seen enough (I didn't know that those images would be replayed over and over again, to haunt me). I walked across the street to buy a pack of cigarettes. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. I remember looking at the beach, and the sky, it was so beautiful outside, the sky so blue. This had to be a dream and I willed myself to wake up. But I didn't. I felt very unsafe walking across the street. It was so quiet. I kept listening for planes.

I went home to watch the news and all day they kept replaying the planes, and the fires, and the people running, and screaming in torture and pain. I cried. I cried for America, for my generation who never had to think about war on our soil, who were taught that we were a 'superpower.' Where the hell were our superpowers now? Someone had come onto our turf and destroyed our freedom. I got mad at our governement and military for being so relaxed and letting this happen. I watched people on TV holding pictures of loved ones who were missing. This should have been prevented.

The days to follow were hard. I wanted to be home, in New York. I heard about a few friends that had died, some who worked at the WTC, some were firefighters. I heard the stories about the people who took over the plane tat crashed in PA. I had never in my life felt so much pride for America.

It took me almost 3 months to go home. The first time I saw the city sky line, I had to pull over. I couldn't see through the tears. It didn't even look like the New York City Sky Line, it never will again. I went to Ground Zero and apologized to all the people there who lost their lives that I was so fortunate as to be alive. It was a very eerie feeling, I felt as if their spirits were still lingering.

I am so proud to be a New Yorker, because of the way we came through, as Americans. I feel for all the families and loved ones in NY, DC, PA, of the people who were on the planes, of the military personnel who were and still are fighting for our country. There is no better place than America and it is a tragedy that it took something so horrible for me to realize it.