story4077.xml

story4077.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-11

When I first heard someone talking about a plane crashing into one of the towers, I thought, "oh, a plane crash." I was sad and sorry to hear the news, but it wasn't until he described it as a deliberate action that I felt this sinking feeling of "oh my gosh." Then it was just like we couldn't get enough information. The internet came to a complete stand still, the phone circuits locked up. Someone who caught a glimpse on tv would rush through saying another plane hit the second tower....the pentagon's been hit....there's another plane crash in PA. My mom called me, crying, just wanting me to get home and be safe. They sent us home early and I just wanted to be with my daughter and husband. The news was filled with such horrible images, I was overwhelmed, but I couldn't turn it off. That sinking feeling would not leave. I just hugged my child and tried in some small way to explain what was going on, but I had no words. I went to bed that night not knowing what we would wake up to. The next day I remember the silence of the sky--no planes. It was so weird. My heart ached for the losses. So many people, hoping to find loved ones. So many questions left unanswered. As the 1-month anniversary passed, we had some answers, but we still had heartache. For me, the birth of my second child a few weeks later, helped to fill some of what was taken that day. And now, here we are one year later. I still get that sinking feeling, I'm not sure it ever fully went away. We have such uncertainty. Perhaps it was always there, and we just didn't see it. I don't know. I worry about the world that my daughters are growing up in now. I had such an innocent childhood and now I am trying to answer questions about war and mean people. It's not easy. I try to find a deeper sense of respect and love for those who pass through my life. More patience, more tolerance, more understanding. I just want to get past the bad and work on the good. I want to close by saying that my heart is with all of those who have experienced loss and pain from this huge tragedy. I hope time can help you heal.