story8635.xml

story8635.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-11-09

SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001 A DAY I REMEMBER AND CAN NOT FORGET, I WAS IN NEW YORK CITY ON VACATION WITH MY PARENTS AND WE WERE DUE TO CATCH A RETURN FLIGHT TO LONDON HEATHROW AIRPORT IN GREAT BRITAIN WHERE WE LIVE. TRIPS TO NEW YORK CITY WERE LIKE A PILGRIMAGE FOR US, WE HAD TRIED CALIFORNIA BUT WE ALLWAYS CAME BACK TO NEW YORK, WE LOVED IT, IT WAS VIBRANT AND ALIVE AND THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH. EVERY TRIP WE TOOK WE ALLWAYS VISITED THE TRADE CENTRE AND SAT IN THE PLAZA AROUND THE FOUNTAIN. AS FOR THE ROOFTOP, I LOST TRACK HOW MANY TIMES WE HAD BEEN UP THERE, I HATE ELEVATORS AND I HATE HEIGHTS BUT I WAS ALLWAYS DRAWN TO THE ROOFTOP I WOULD PERSEVERE AND MAKE THE TRIP UP THERE JUST TO STAND IN AWE AT THE SPLEANDOUR THAT STOOD AND UNFOLDED BELOW AND BEFORE ME, WHAT A MARVELOUS SIGHT, NOTHING COULD TOUCH IT FOR ME. THIS TRIP WE HAD SAT AROUND THE FOUNTAIN AND TRAILED OUR FINGERS THOUGH THE COOL FLOWING WATER IN THE FOUNTAIN WHILST BEING BASKED IN GLORIOUS SUNLIGHT IN THE EARLY MORNING, IT WAS PEACEFUL, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, IT WAS A DAY OR TWO BEFORE THAT FATEFUL DAY, I CAN NOT REMEMBER WHETHER IT WAS ONE OR TWO DAYS BEFORE BECAUSE WHAT WAS TO COME WOULD MAKE TIME SEEM INSIGNIFICANT. I LOVED THE TRADE CENTRE AND ALL IT SYMBOLISED, IT WAS WHERE THE WORLD CAME TOGETHER AND UNITED AS ONE, I REMEMBER ON MY LAST TRIP TO THE TOWERS THAT AN ORIENTAL GENTLEMAN APPROACHED ME WITH A CAMERA, HE COULD NOT SPEAK MUCH ENGLISH BUT I KNEW HE WANTED PHOTOS TAKEN, EVERYONE WHO SAW THE TRADE CENTRE DID. I TOOK A FEW SHOTS WITH THE FOUNTAIN AND SOME OF HIM WITH THE BUILDINGS IN THE BACKGROUND, I DO HOPE HE IS WELL AND THAT HE IS TREASURING THOSE PHOTOS AS I TREASURE MINE. ALSO ON THIS DAY WE PURCHASED DONUTS AND COKE FROM A SHOP AT THE EDGE OF THE PLAZA AND SAT THERE CONSUMING THESE AND JUST SOAKING UP THE ATMOSPHERE, I WAS IN HEAVEN BUT HELL WAS COMING ALONG PRETTY CLOSE BEHIND.
ON SEPTEMBER THE 10TH WE PACKED OUR BAGS READY FOR OUR TRIP HOME, AND ON SEPTEMBER THE 11TH WE HAD TO RISE FROM OUR HOTEL BEDS EXTRA EARLY AS WE HAD BBOUGHT SO MANY MATERIAL GOODS THAT WE HAD TO BUY MORE CASES TO GET THEM HOME. MY MOTHER AND I SET OUT ONTO BROADWAY IN SEARCH OF A SHOP SELLING CASES JUST AFTER EIGHT IN THE MORNING IT WAS A GLORIOUS MORNING AND AS WE CROSSED ONE BLOCK I TURNED TO MY MOTHER AND SAID "ISN'T THIS WONDERFUL IT'S A GLORIOUS MORNING THE CITY IS WAKING UP AND COMING ALIVE AND WE ARE GOING TO BUY A SUITCASE SO THAT WE CAN GO HOME AND SEE OUR TWO WONDERFUL LITTLE DOGGIES, LIFE COULDN'T BE BETTER THAN IT IS NOW. THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT TRIP, I JUST FEEL SO ALIVE." THE SHOP WE NEEDED TO VISIT WAS NOT YET OPEN FOR BUSINESS SO WE WENT IN THE DRUG STORES, MAKING SURE THAT THERE WAS NOTHING WE HAD FORGOTTEN TO BUY, NIK NAKS AND PRESENTS AND THE LIKE. SHORTLY AFTER WE WERE ON A TRAFFIC ISLAND AND THERE WAS THIS ROARING NOISE, WE LOOKED UP AND SAW A LARGE PLANE AND WE LAUGHED AND JOKED SAYING WE WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE ON THAT PLANE, DIDN'T THE IDIOT KNOW THERE WERE LOT'S OF TALL BUILDINGS IN LOWER MANHATTAN. WE JOKINGLY SAID HE MUST BE A TRAINEE, AND HE WOULD SOON CHANGE COURSE WHEN HE SAW THE BUILDINGS DOWN THERE. NOW WHEN LOOKING BACK, THIS BRINGS ME FEELINGS OF SUCH GUILT, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE ON THE PLANE, IF WE COULD SEE THEM THEN OBVIOUSLY THEY COULD SEE US AND THEY JUST COULD NOT REACH OUT THAT SMALL DISTANCE TO GET THE HELP THEY SO DESPERATELY NEEDED. MY MOTHER ASKED ME THE TIME AND I SAID IT WAS AROUND ABOUT A QUARTER TO NINE ACORDING TO THE CLOCK ON THE BANK, WE DECIDED TO GO AND STAND OUTSIDE THE SHOP AND HAVE A CIGARRETTE WHILST WAITING, WE HEARD THIS ALMIGHTY BANG WHICH MADE US JUMP BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS LOUD NOISES IN NEW YORK AND WE BRUSHED IT ASIDE SAYING JOKINGLY THAT THE PILOT HAD PROBABLY FOUND THE BUILDINGS, WE DIDN'T EVEN FOR A MOMENT THINK THAT ANYTHING LIKE THAT COULD HAPPEN IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD.
ON OUR RETURN TO THE HOTEL WE FINISHED PACKING AND CALLED FOR THE BELL HOP TO COLLECT OUR BAGS, WHEN HE CAME HE SAID THAT THEY WERE ON SHUT DOWN BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANT AND HE SAID WE WOULD NOT GET OUT OF THE CITY LET ALONE THE COUNTRY, WE DID NOT UNDERSTAND AND HE TOLD US TO STAY PUT AND SWITCH THE NEWS CHANNELS ON, I JUST SO DISBELIEVED HIM WHEN HE SAID THE CITY WAS UNDER ATTACK.
WHEN WE VIEWED THE NEWS PICTURES I JUST COULD NOT COMPREHEND WHAT I WAS SEEING, IT JUST COULD NOT BE TRUE, BUT AS THE DAY WENT ON MY FEELINGS TURNED TO EVEN DEEPER AND DEEPER DESPAIR. MY SISTER NIECE AND BROTHER IN LAW WERE BACK AT HOME DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET NEWS AND WE WERE THE OTHER SIDE OF THE POND TRYING TO CONTACT THEM IT TOOK SO MANY HOURS TO GET THROUGH AND THERE WERE MANY TEARS AND MUCH ANGUISH EXCHANGED WHEN CONTACT WAS FINALLY MADE.
IN THE DAYS THAT FOLLOWED WE WERE MOSTLY CONFINED TO THE HOTEL DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET A FLIGHT HOME, I SLEPT LITTLE IN THE FIVE EXTRA DAYS THAT FOLLOWED THINKING ABOUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND WHAT COULD POSSIBLY FOLLOW, WHAT ABOUT THE HOTEL, HOW SAFE WAS IT, WE WERE ON THE 22ND FLOOR,WHO COULD PROTECT US AND HOW WOULD WE GET OUT IF WE HAD TOO. WHAT ABOUT THE AIR THAT WE ARE BREATHING, ALL THIS DUST, SOME OF THE DUST HAD TO BE THE REMAINS OF PEOPLE THAT HAD BEEN LOST IN THE TRAGEDY.
FOR A CHANGE I WAS CALM WHEN BOARDING THE FLIGHT HOME, THIS IS NOT LIKE ME, BUT WHEN IT CAME TO TAKE OFF I WAS HYSTERICAL, I DID NOT KNOW HOW I COULD FACE A SEVEN HOUR FLIGHT, I FELT SO TRAPPED. WHEN I GOT HOME I SAW A DOCTOR AND HAD SOME TIME OFF WORK BUT EVENTUALLY I COULD STAND IT NO MORE AND RETURNED TO WORK, WHAT HAPPENED HAD CHANGED EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING, INCLUDING MY LIFE, I DECLINED COUNSELLING AND STOPPED TAKING THE MEDICATION GIVEN TO ME, CONVINCED THAT I DID NOT NEED ANY HELP AND THAT I WOULD SOON GET OVER IT; I HAD NEVER BEEN THROUGH ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE AND HEY IT CAN NOT BE THAT TOUGH, I WILL DEAL WITH IT IN MY OWN TIME, I WILL BE BETTER IN A FEW WEEKS, BUT WEEKS TURNED TO MONTHS AND MONTHS WENT BY, THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY CAME AND WENT AND I WAS RELIVING IT EVERY DAY, MY WHOLE LIFE WAS REVOLVING AROUND SEPTEMBER THE 11TH, EVERY OCCURENCE AND EVERY CONVERSATION, EVEN AT WORK. I COULD NOT HOLD MY TEMPER OR MY TEARS, I COULD NOT SLEEP AND HAD AN UNNATURAL FEAR OF DARK OR CONFINED SPACES AND OF LOUD NOISES I JUST SIMPLY DID NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING BUT I COULD NOT SEE IT, I HAD NOT CHANGED, I WAS RIGHT AND EVERYONE ELSE WAS WRONG AND I WAS COPING JUST FINE, EVENTUALLY I WENT TO THE DOCTOR, I AM ON A LIST FOR COUNSELLING AND I AM ON MEDICATION, THE MEDICATION HAS HELPED TO SEE HOW BADLY AFFECTED I WAS AND THE COUNSELLING WILL HELP ME TO RECOVER, THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN A WONDERFUL DISCOVERY AND HAS HELPED ME TO SEE I AM NOT ALONE, IT ANYONE READS THIS AND CAN IDENTIFY THIS AND THEY ARE NOT GETTING HELP THEN I STRONGLY URGE THEM DO SO, THERE IS NO SHAME IN NEEDING HELP AND THE PAIN WILL NOT EASE UNTIL YOU GET IT, LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN THERE, LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME FOR ME, I HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF SOMETHING DEAR TO ME BUT I AM STARTING OUT ON A LEARNING PROCESS, LEARNING TO COPE, IT IS GOING TO BE A LONG ROAD AND A ROUGH JOURNEY BUT IT IS ONE THAT I WANT TO MAKE, I CAN NOT HAVE MY NEW YORK BACK THE WAY THAT I WOULD LIKE IT AND I CAN CHANGE WHAT HAPPENED OR BRING THOSE PEOPLE BACK BUT I CAN TAKE MY LIFE BACK AND START TO LIVE IT AGAIN, LIVE IT LIKE I OWN IT, LIKE I OWNED IT BEFORE SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001.
MAY GOD BLESS THE SOULS OF THOSE WHO PERISH AND MAY HE HELP US TO COMBAT EVIL WITH GOODNESS.