VTMBH Article: Body
The plight of Longy Anyanwu, the Nigerian dad recently released from a New Jersey jail after spending four years for contempt for insisting that his children be brought up in Africa again opened the debate about the best place for African immigrants to raise their kids: America or Africa?
Lady Okonkwo, (not her real name), a Nigerian immigrant and registered nurse (RN) at a New York area hospital will never forgive herself. Some three decades ago, Lady came to America with her husband, Dr. Okonkwo, to study. After their studies, they started work in New York and had two girls and a boy. A family source told African Abroad (AA) that after surveying the American society and its attitudes towards the rearing of children, Dr. Okonkwo confided in his wife that they should relocate back to Nigeria so that their children could be rooted in the more disciplined African culture. According to the source, Lady flatly refused her husbands request, preferring instead to stay in America with the children. Dr. Okonkwo relocated back to Nigeria alone.
Today, Lady Okonkwo is full of regret at her decision. Her three children, who are now adults, completely shun anything Nigerian and prefer to refer themselves as Americans, saying it is only their parents who are Nigerian. They never mix with Nigerians, or any Africans for that matter, and cannot even speak any of the African languages. What pained Lady Okonkwo was her sons decision (his name is withheld) to marry an older American lady who has three children out of wedlock by two different men. Her two girls now have problems with dating because they will not date African men and Black American men look at them as foreign even though they were born in the United States.
Ike Enwereuzor, an America-born Nigerian sports writer based in New York, does not have this identity crisis afflicting the Okonkwo family. Ewereuzor, whose parents are both Nigerians, told AA that there is nothing like spending ones formative years in Africa because of the lack of discipline in American society and its schools. I am forever grateful to my father for sending me back to Nigeria as a young man to learn the culture of respect, discipline, self worth and the dignity of labor, said Enwereuzor. Granted, my father used to spank me when I misbehaved and I was caned at school by teachers and older students. What the heck! It is better for me because I escaped the gang culture of America, will never pick a fight with an armed cop to send me to an early grave, and have the self respect not to regard welfare as a solution to being lazy.
Chief Felix Ugbode, CEO of Paulson Security Inc. in New York, who raised his kids in America, is full of regret for doing so. Knowing what I know now, I would never have brought up my children in America. The culture is totally anti-good parenting.
The American culture criminalizes discipline of any kind on a child. It is termed child abuse. African parents who want to instill the rigid African culture of spanking the child to correct aberrant behavior in their children are hauled before the courts on child abuse charges. The children are forcibly removed from them and placed in government-administered foster homes.
There are, however, other reasons why the practice of Africans sending their children back home to Africa for their formative years is on the rise. An African CPA in Brooklyn, who does not want his name in print, sent his two kids to a private school in Abuja for economic reason as well as to imbibe the culture of discipline. My wife is a student in a New Jersey school. I am the only one working. How do we take care of two kids on a lean budget of expensive private schools and sky-high day care services? he asked. He told AA that it cost him N270,000 Maira (about $2,000) per year for the boarding and tuition of one of his kids as a private school in Abuja, the Nigerian capital. When a 13-year-old starts saying, Daddy, dont be a fool! you know there is a problem. The American system gives the children so much freedom to misbehave that at the end of the day, they become uncontrollable and are either lost to the gangs or are murdered by rogue cops intimidated by the sight of a young black kid with attitude.
Child welfare experts told AA that parents wishing to raise their children in Africa must first agree together to avoid trouble with the law. Longly Anyanwu, the Nigerian-born former computer professor at Montclair University, in Montclair, NJ, ran afoul of the American child welfare laws because he did not agree with his wife on the best place to bring up their children. Edith Anyanwu, his former wife, alerted the authorities that her husband kidnapped their two children and sent them to Nigeria. A New Jersey court ordered Longly Anyanwu to bring his American-born children back to America within three days. When he refused, Longly was held in contempt for four years by Superior Court Judge Salem V. Ahto. After the surviving child, Uchechi, 16, (Ogechi, 11, the other child, died in Nigeria) told Judge Ahto that she would like to complete her education in Nigeria, Longly was released from prison.
Lady Okonkwo, (not her real name), a Nigerian immigrant and registered nurse (RN) at a New York area hospital will never forgive herself. Some three decades ago, Lady came to America with her husband, Dr. Okonkwo, to study. After their studies, they started work in New York and had two girls and a boy. A family source told African Abroad (AA) that after surveying the American society and its attitudes towards the rearing of children, Dr. Okonkwo confided in his wife that they should relocate back to Nigeria so that their children could be rooted in the more disciplined African culture. According to the source, Lady flatly refused her husbands request, preferring instead to stay in America with the children. Dr. Okonkwo relocated back to Nigeria alone.
Today, Lady Okonkwo is full of regret at her decision. Her three children, who are now adults, completely shun anything Nigerian and prefer to refer themselves as Americans, saying it is only their parents who are Nigerian. They never mix with Nigerians, or any Africans for that matter, and cannot even speak any of the African languages. What pained Lady Okonkwo was her sons decision (his name is withheld) to marry an older American lady who has three children out of wedlock by two different men. Her two girls now have problems with dating because they will not date African men and Black American men look at them as foreign even though they were born in the United States.
Ike Enwereuzor, an America-born Nigerian sports writer based in New York, does not have this identity crisis afflicting the Okonkwo family. Ewereuzor, whose parents are both Nigerians, told AA that there is nothing like spending ones formative years in Africa because of the lack of discipline in American society and its schools. I am forever grateful to my father for sending me back to Nigeria as a young man to learn the culture of respect, discipline, self worth and the dignity of labor, said Enwereuzor. Granted, my father used to spank me when I misbehaved and I was caned at school by teachers and older students. What the heck! It is better for me because I escaped the gang culture of America, will never pick a fight with an armed cop to send me to an early grave, and have the self respect not to regard welfare as a solution to being lazy.
Chief Felix Ugbode, CEO of Paulson Security Inc. in New York, who raised his kids in America, is full of regret for doing so. Knowing what I know now, I would never have brought up my children in America. The culture is totally anti-good parenting.
The American culture criminalizes discipline of any kind on a child. It is termed child abuse. African parents who want to instill the rigid African culture of spanking the child to correct aberrant behavior in their children are hauled before the courts on child abuse charges. The children are forcibly removed from them and placed in government-administered foster homes.
There are, however, other reasons why the practice of Africans sending their children back home to Africa for their formative years is on the rise. An African CPA in Brooklyn, who does not want his name in print, sent his two kids to a private school in Abuja for economic reason as well as to imbibe the culture of discipline. My wife is a student in a New Jersey school. I am the only one working. How do we take care of two kids on a lean budget of expensive private schools and sky-high day care services? he asked. He told AA that it cost him N270,000 Maira (about $2,000) per year for the boarding and tuition of one of his kids as a private school in Abuja, the Nigerian capital. When a 13-year-old starts saying, Daddy, dont be a fool! you know there is a problem. The American system gives the children so much freedom to misbehave that at the end of the day, they become uncontrollable and are either lost to the gangs or are murdered by rogue cops intimidated by the sight of a young black kid with attitude.
Child welfare experts told AA that parents wishing to raise their children in Africa must first agree together to avoid trouble with the law. Longly Anyanwu, the Nigerian-born former computer professor at Montclair University, in Montclair, NJ, ran afoul of the American child welfare laws because he did not agree with his wife on the best place to bring up their children. Edith Anyanwu, his former wife, alerted the authorities that her husband kidnapped their two children and sent them to Nigeria. A New Jersey court ordered Longly Anyanwu to bring his American-born children back to America within three days. When he refused, Longly was held in contempt for four years by Superior Court Judge Salem V. Ahto. After the surviving child, Uchechi, 16, (Ogechi, 11, the other child, died in Nigeria) told Judge Ahto that she would like to complete her education in Nigeria, Longly was released from prison.