story4833.xml

story4833.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-11

I was fortunate. I was safe and sound in my office of about 35 people, well into working away at my desk. It was a picture perfect, "not a cloud in the sky" September day.

A co-worker announced she had just heard on the radio that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center. Word was spreading rapidly throughout the office, some logging on to the internet to see what this could possibly be! Little did we know our lives and those of generations to come were forever changing, right then and there. The utter disbelief and helplessness was slowly seeping into our very souls. A burden to be carried forever. Questions to which there are no good answers to be asked over and over. We all convened to our conference room to watch the events unfold on television. Heads kept shaking in disbelief and tears were falling as the buildings collapsed, and with the news about the Pentagon and Pennsylvania. It was all becoming quite surreal. None of us could work. The phones stopped ringing. We closed the office early and went home.

Thankfully, none of us were touched in any direct way by loss of a loved one. But as the days passed, stories unfolded of friends of friends, and so on. The investment firm Morgan Stanley Dean Witter has an office in our building. We learned of their loss.

I remember I was glued to my TV for days! Not wanting to watch, but driven to learn as much as I could, and to feel it. The pain had to be felt. The tears had to be shed for a bit. It's the only way to get past it and move on. We were all watching the smoke continue to rise from Ground Zero -as it was now called- for weeks. I was feeling secretly guilty for not being there to help sift through the rubble. Wanting to reach out my hand and my heart to all the police and firefighters and all those looking for signs of life, and eventually just hoping to find a body or a piece of one to return to loved ones for proper burial. They were enduring unbearable conditions and extreme emotional pain. But I wished I were one of them. I don't think that the perpetrators of these acts had any idea how strong this country would come together. They don't have a clue as to what this country is all about. I would endure any amount of hardship to show them they can't put us down!

Most people I know were glued to their TVs,radios, and newspapers too. We couldn't get enough because we were trying to understand. The airwaves were full of talk for weeks, months. There wasn't a radio talk show in the country that didn't cover this day in and day out. I began imagining so many horrors and started feeling a little paranoid. It was hard to sleep sometimes. But eventually, perhaps as each "uneventful" day passed, I began to worry less. I also decided not to worry about those things over which I have absolutely no control. What will be will be.

I remember also that I was so sorry my 82 year old mother had to live through this. I was sorry that she would have to live with this sadness for the rest of her life. That she would have to imagine a world that wasn't safe for her grand children and great grand children. It wasn't fair for her to have to be so disheartened.

So we all know the rest of the story. It's ongoing. A story to which we all fantasize about a happy ending. So we go on. We keep our routines. We go to work. We go on vacation. We buy a home. We struggle to keep the economy strong. We support our President and pray for him to be a wise leader. We keep on smiling, decide what is really important in our lives and just go live them. BELIEVE in the power of prayer! God bless us all.

Thank you for the opportunity to share my thoughts for posterity.