story870.xml
Title
story870.xml
Source
born-digital
Media Type
story
Date Entered
2002-07-10
911DA Story: Story
Life Back to Normal ? Back to my New Normalcy
Tonight I took a walk downtown, not downtown USA but in a foreign country, that?s where my aviation job takes me, looking for some normalcy in my life.
For you see a little more then a week ago I was in my firehouse watching the TV when the second plane hit the WTC#2 tower, and then as the reports broke in as the Pentagon was struck. I Listen as people on TV yelling call 911, I was their 911 and then I walked amongst the devastation that was brought to my home land, I walked amongst the damaged caused to the Pentagon as a fire fighter, not as a hero but as a fire fighter, Searching the halls not for rescue but recovery. I remember when I arrived there looking at the devastation, at that moment I was no longer a spectator. As I walked the hallways my mind was thinking just another fire, just another fire, and then I saw the wreckage of the plane. My two worlds, my two loves had collided, literally, Aviation and fire fighting.
I watched the next day as the TV reports of an amateur video after the WTC collapsed, with hundreds of PASS alarms going off - the sounds of chirping doves, and remember someone on the TV asking what is that noise? I knew exactly what it was, hundreds of Brother and Sister Fire Fighters, DOWN, there Personal Alert devices activated by their lack of movement. This thought will never leave my mind, it felt like the old Show where you watched the dirty hands hitting a chisel with the heavy hammer leaving the marks of that day, month and year into stone forever- the image and sound was burnt deep inside my mind.
I watched the faces of those around me as I walked in my foreign town, some smiling, some with blank stares; I watched as a young girl and her friends argue in a language I couldn?t understand. For most of these people, life is normal once again. They where not affected by what I had seen.
I walked in to a restaurant and took off my jacket, the jacket bares the name of the airline I work for, and underneath was I wore a fire fighter T-shirt proud at what I do. As I sat and tried to work my way threw the menu, none of it in English, when someone taps me on the shoulder and asked where I am from? I said America with a proud voice, and where you there? They asked, my voice now shaken, yes I was I replied, and how do you feel now? Was the next round of questioning, Wow I thought that?s a question, I have been asking myself for a week now, and getting little sleep because of it, how do I feel?
How do I feel? Its hard to explain to someone who wasn?t there, but it?s a question I have been asked a lot, and I thank those that cared enough to ask and apologies for not answering. To be brought up in a family who has a long history in the military I was mad, wanting revenge now, swift and hard, and as a fire fighter I didn?t want to see anyone harmed because that meant I would be called to duty again, and as a human I wanted my life too be normal again, I wanted it all to be a dream a very bad dream.
I realized a tear had formed in the corner of my eye, wet and cold, something I have not had since I was five, because big boys don?t cry, I quickly sucked it up and answered the question. I feel like and American Fire Fighter, who?s might loose his job in aviation, and wants military revenge for those brothers and sisters who gave their life trying to save a soul. And I want my life back to Normal; I got up and went to my apartment and cried life a baby in search for his lost mother.
When I was through crying I sat down and typed this: I realized to each person, no matter what the race, creed, religion, sex, sexual preference, or education level, each person has there own feelings, there own threshold of pain and anger, there own beliefs and opinions and has a god given right to express them as they see fit, and there is no better place to express all of those but back home in the USA.
I am not a very religious person, born into the catholic faith, I don?t practice, as I should, my mother and sister often remind me of that. But my faith and life have come together for me, and it took a tragedy to do it, sad I know.
God bless my brother and sisters fire fighters who gave there souls trying to save a friend and a neighbor, God bless those who have lost there jobs because of this act of terrorism, god bless those that lost the innocent life, God bless those in the military who stand on the wall and protect me night after night. God Bless my Children and God bless America.
My life will never be back to normal; but my new life has a fresh meaning. Life is short, don?t argue or fight over it, and its not worth killing someone over. Hold those people you love as often and as long as you can before you leave for work each day, and before you go to bed at night, Live each day to the fullest and you will have peace until life comes to its end.
Charles B. Loraine. Sr
Fire Fighter ? Aircraft Mechanic - Father and American
Tonight I took a walk downtown, not downtown USA but in a foreign country, that?s where my aviation job takes me, looking for some normalcy in my life.
For you see a little more then a week ago I was in my firehouse watching the TV when the second plane hit the WTC#2 tower, and then as the reports broke in as the Pentagon was struck. I Listen as people on TV yelling call 911, I was their 911 and then I walked amongst the devastation that was brought to my home land, I walked amongst the damaged caused to the Pentagon as a fire fighter, not as a hero but as a fire fighter, Searching the halls not for rescue but recovery. I remember when I arrived there looking at the devastation, at that moment I was no longer a spectator. As I walked the hallways my mind was thinking just another fire, just another fire, and then I saw the wreckage of the plane. My two worlds, my two loves had collided, literally, Aviation and fire fighting.
I watched the next day as the TV reports of an amateur video after the WTC collapsed, with hundreds of PASS alarms going off - the sounds of chirping doves, and remember someone on the TV asking what is that noise? I knew exactly what it was, hundreds of Brother and Sister Fire Fighters, DOWN, there Personal Alert devices activated by their lack of movement. This thought will never leave my mind, it felt like the old Show where you watched the dirty hands hitting a chisel with the heavy hammer leaving the marks of that day, month and year into stone forever- the image and sound was burnt deep inside my mind.
I watched the faces of those around me as I walked in my foreign town, some smiling, some with blank stares; I watched as a young girl and her friends argue in a language I couldn?t understand. For most of these people, life is normal once again. They where not affected by what I had seen.
I walked in to a restaurant and took off my jacket, the jacket bares the name of the airline I work for, and underneath was I wore a fire fighter T-shirt proud at what I do. As I sat and tried to work my way threw the menu, none of it in English, when someone taps me on the shoulder and asked where I am from? I said America with a proud voice, and where you there? They asked, my voice now shaken, yes I was I replied, and how do you feel now? Was the next round of questioning, Wow I thought that?s a question, I have been asking myself for a week now, and getting little sleep because of it, how do I feel?
How do I feel? Its hard to explain to someone who wasn?t there, but it?s a question I have been asked a lot, and I thank those that cared enough to ask and apologies for not answering. To be brought up in a family who has a long history in the military I was mad, wanting revenge now, swift and hard, and as a fire fighter I didn?t want to see anyone harmed because that meant I would be called to duty again, and as a human I wanted my life too be normal again, I wanted it all to be a dream a very bad dream.
I realized a tear had formed in the corner of my eye, wet and cold, something I have not had since I was five, because big boys don?t cry, I quickly sucked it up and answered the question. I feel like and American Fire Fighter, who?s might loose his job in aviation, and wants military revenge for those brothers and sisters who gave their life trying to save a soul. And I want my life back to Normal; I got up and went to my apartment and cried life a baby in search for his lost mother.
When I was through crying I sat down and typed this: I realized to each person, no matter what the race, creed, religion, sex, sexual preference, or education level, each person has there own feelings, there own threshold of pain and anger, there own beliefs and opinions and has a god given right to express them as they see fit, and there is no better place to express all of those but back home in the USA.
I am not a very religious person, born into the catholic faith, I don?t practice, as I should, my mother and sister often remind me of that. But my faith and life have come together for me, and it took a tragedy to do it, sad I know.
God bless my brother and sisters fire fighters who gave there souls trying to save a friend and a neighbor, God bless those who have lost there jobs because of this act of terrorism, god bless those that lost the innocent life, God bless those in the military who stand on the wall and protect me night after night. God Bless my Children and God bless America.
My life will never be back to normal; but my new life has a fresh meaning. Life is short, don?t argue or fight over it, and its not worth killing someone over. Hold those people you love as often and as long as you can before you leave for work each day, and before you go to bed at night, Live each day to the fullest and you will have peace until life comes to its end.
Charles B. Loraine. Sr
Fire Fighter ? Aircraft Mechanic - Father and American
Collection
Citation
“story870.xml,” September 11 Digital Archive, accessed January 9, 2025, https://911digitalarchive.org/items/show/13425.