story7651.xml
Title
story7651.xml
Source
born-digital
Media Type
story
Date Entered
2002-09-16
911DA Story: Story
NEW YORK
8 Sept. - 29 Sept. 2001
This diary was written by Nelcya DELANOE, Professor of American History at the University of Paris.
My field is American Indian history within U.S. history.
I hadn't been to New York for 5 years. I went there in September 2002 to do some research and to visit friends.
The goal of my travel diaries is to take factual notes, or specific thoughts generated at the time. They help me write formal texts later on.
This translation left out personal data that are irrelevant to the subject at hand.
September 8
TWA flight, half empty
Instead of Temesta, D. gave me some Stilnox.
This pill, taken on board, immediately made me sick, like an overdose, reality went crinkly, I became dizzy, nauseous with streams of saliva, run to the toilets with paper bags, but it's just saliva. I finally get three-hours of sleep.
Landing in NY with great weather, warm too. C. is waiting for me, am still dizzy. Went to bed at 8 pm.
Sunday 9th
I'm quickly finding my bearings again and admire the City -early eight o'clock walk this morning.
Saturday night, a stream of strange dreams (lost my house, my address...)
Brooklyn Museum.; gorgeous Amerindian pieces ( Woodlands' high rank prisoner, kneeling, his hands in his back; NW Coast, SW; Nez Perce, Peru etc...) ; Iranian, Japanese
In the Khmer Art section, some beautiful pieces, obviously from the temples: "Acquisition dates: 1991, 1990, 1992". As I realized what those dates meant, I was so outraged I had to leave the premises; such beauty for a few dollars and so much blood and cynicism for just a show made me want to run away and get some fresh air. To merchandise, to spectacularize and to dehydrate history to that extent... I walk by those Bodisattva heads as if by the pail where guillotined heads would be rolling. These are kept behind clean windows, hygrometrically supervised, in an air conditioned room. And nobody seems surprised. But run away from what? And where to?
In the Botanic Gardens, I breathed in and read Shakespeare's sonnets and lines, first thing first. Then, strolled along the alleys; a young Jewish orthodox couple, pallid and smiling; a flock of young Muslim women, draped in black, pallid and smiling; a band of Latinos, prim and chockfull of children, solemnly grinning at the camera; a young and handsome gay guy promenades with old ladies, bends by the rivulet pretending he is washing his linen; trees, trees, trees, catalpa, butterfly trees, bamboo in a peaceful Japanese garden, decorated with gray herons sculptures standing by the pond, striking.
In the inferno of the subway, trains roar by. Cars are air conditioned. People ask for the train to ? and check on the map that they are on the right track. On the platform, the heat is burning, stifling, sticky.
In the evening, dinner with K and J. I walked from Cooper Union to White St. and felt NY had become a caricature of itself.
Monday 10th
I walked my neighborhood, with a long stop at the Post Office, "Next!", and the bell rings and the light twinkles. Hot and muggy morning. Lunch with T., very pleasant, continued by a long conversation on his balcony. In the distance, we see the rain come from the tip of the island and rushing towards Wall Street Canyon. Around 7.30 pm, it turns into a storm with thunder and lightning, the night is thick, so is the rain, the streets are flooded and the taxis have turned into amphibious machines plunging up to their headlights into gigantic splashes.
Thanks to T. , I have access to NYU Library, an icily air conditioned Ali Baba's cavern.
Dinner with S. and T. ...
Tuesday 11
Jet-lag is almost over.
After the enormous storm, the night has cooled off and the atmosphere is much nicer (8.30 am) To-day, appointment with one of my Indian Studies students, M. D., who just won a Figaro grant for an article on New York Indians.
8.45
A plane is flying low over Manhattan and I mention it to C., since we never hear planes in this neighborhood. Followed by an enormous explosion, like the supersonic Bang, but also like last night's thunder. The telephone rings, and C. turns the TV on and we see the World Trade Center right tower in flames, belching smoke. We rush on to the terrace, on the 6th floor, huge black swirls of smoke, black-bellied clouds flown towards Brooklyn, regular, powerful; it looks like something is stuck in the tower, is it a plane? We stand petrified, facing the two towers from the terrace, in full sunlight. And then, we see it come in from the south, shining in the rays of the sun, a huge commercial plane, at full speed, circling low and then heading up towards the second tower, evidently heading into the Tower like an act of war, ramming into it deliberately, head-on. The Tower is immediately in flames, in an enormous spiral of smoky clouds and red flames. The building itself seems to burn both form inside and outside, its structure blackened from top to bottom as if streams of black ink were running down blotting paper walls, a horizontal black tide that runs down, down. It is clear the tower will collapse any time into embers, like a smoldering log. It does!
With C., after 9.15, we concluded it was "War."
At 10.00, we went to do some errands, some old people do the same, quick quick, while the shops start closing. I rush to the bank, to take my money out, too late, all transactions are suspended and clients withdraw cash with their cards.
The streets are swarming with rows of people who walk up north, faces are serious, some are crying but everybody is calm and very worried; long lines at the bus stops, and bridges. Tunnels have closed; subway lines too. People are going uptown.
We go back up on the terrace. The tower that was hit first has fallen, cut into two. It is now smaller than Woolworth, the perspective and the skyline have changed like a film special effect, at some point the smoke dissolves, the two tall towers are gone, almost completely volatilized, one completely, the other has been beheaded; is now a stump.
On TV, we gradually learn there has been an attack against the Pentagon and that the two planes that ran into the towers were hijacked by pirates, with the passengers, coming from Boston/845, from Dallas/915. Another plane, that was threatening Camp David, was shot down.
TV 12.30: we learn that Dick Cheney is in charge at the White House, that Bush is "most probably alive", that 6 other planes had been hijacked but lost track of except for the one that crashed near Pittsburgh, all airports are closed, and so are the borders, the National Guard is deployed in NY City and the Navy is sending ships in NY harbor. I did not go to my appointment with M. D. and feel guilty but C. insists he can call or come if he needs something since he has my name and my address.
Altogether, 4 planes (coming from Newark?) have hit targets -was only one of them shot down? At 1 pm, we are told that Bush has gone from Florida to Louisiana.
Since this morning, I can think of nothing else but Pearl Harbor, which the TV person is mentioning right now. C. says it's much worse in terms of the number of people who have been killed.
In any event, "they" have struck at the heart of the empire and of its symbols: World Trade Center, Pentagon, Camp David
I'll never forget what I saw this morning.
I fear something nuclear
1.30 p.m:
Banking transactions will not resume before a few days, and since big companies were based in the towers, the world market will feel the after-shock of millions of dollars vanished into smoke. They say the damage at the Pentagon is serious, and that damage to air lines is absolute (no flight is conceivable before quite some time, which never happened).
3.45 p.m
According to security sources, Bin Laden might be responsible for "America under Attack".
Bush is hiding in Nebraska, having a secret conference with the NSC
4.15 pm
Fire is spreading to another building, I'm scared
Why don' they have planes showering carbonic snow and water?
4.30pm
"A low tech, high concept operation", Jeffrey Beatty, President of Total Security Intell
5 pm, Building 7, which was part of the WTC, collapses
7 pm, on the terrace: the enormous clouds have turned orange in the setting sun, thick orange turning black when the light declines
At 6.30 pm, on TV, C. saw images of a bombardment over Kabul. A while later, the United States let it be known they have nothing to do with such bombardment. Nothing is ever heard of it again
8 pm: Canal Street is being evacuated. I feel like leaving the area; not C. who worries for the apartment, the workshop and its precious belongings. I try to call K. uptown but the phone is dead.
On TV, we see priests, bishops, commentators and journalists, all calling for prayers
8 30 pm, TV, Micah Helpern, "Terrorism expert":
"This happened because the United States is the greatest democracy and is opposed to fundamentalism. Nothing to do with supporting Israel"
8 45: Speech by Bush, "in defense of freedom and our lifestyle... and we will seek out the terrorists and those who harbor them"
This morning, the news mentioned 8 to 10 hijacked planes; this evening, they talk of 4 planes. The 4th one crashed near Pittsburgh -on its way to Camp David? (WAS crashed, but... how? who by? The military? NOTHING about it).
"Unbelievable " is the most frequently used term.
On TV, they insist on people's trauma, and how their need for psychological support will probably last for years. Shocked by the UNBELIEVABLE nature of the thing: the towers have DISAPPEARED and building 7 has slid down in a few seconds, from ground 17 to ground zero
At 9pm, risks of biological attacks are mentioned; also, foundations of buildings in the WTC neigborhood have been shaken; also: the towers' explosion might have been reinforced by explosives taken on board
The National Guard and plane carriers are sent to NY city
10 30pm
We learn on TV that two men who looked suspect were arrested near the George Washington bridge with a truck full of explosives, to blow the bridge.
The 4 planes with their passengers = 265 persons
Wednesday 12
8 am->12 30 pm: walk down to Houston and then west to the Pier and the East River. The police will not let anybody go below Houston. The fire has resumed at 1 Financial Center and it is said the generator is burning, more big beige and brown clouds.
The army has started taking positions and the militarization of daily life is going to become visible, palpable.
At 10 o'clock, Bush made a new speech and called what happened on Monday the 11th "An Act of War"; which means the insurance companies won't have to pay for damages. Markets were immediately boosted, and the Stock Exchange too, though it is closed.
As I walked around this morning, I came across a nurse, she was calling from a pay phone as I was waiting; she seemed very worried, "This is a mess!" She later explained her patient had been evacuated from her house and the police was unable to tell her where to, but the lady needed treatment, "This is a mess, I'm hoping my supervisor will show up and help me help her!"
In a narrow, empty Village street, I saw a 4x4 Mercedes parked along the sidewalk, doors flung open; the driver arrives, an (India) Indian in his thirties, looking exhausted, elegant, small pony-tail. The car is blanketed with talc powder dust and with ashes, packs of them on the windshield. He had run away from his house, after the attack against the first tower. But he had left his dog. He had gone back there this morning, with the agreement and the help of the police, had brought his dog back and had just dropped him at some friends'. He then drove away at fullspeed in a cloud of dust and ashes. He said his apartment had been filled with them almost to the ceiling. The dog was sitting on top of the ghastly pile.
Listening to the news:
Bodies are NOT mentioned, the term is not pronounced and when some witnesses begin to mention them, they are kindly but firmly cut off; it is invisible unless you pay attention. In the same manner, no evaluation whatsoever has been made of the number of the victims (c.f., different from Baghdad/Iraq)
Also: they insist NY air is not polluted, no asbestos, no dioxin; it is also said asbestos breathed in for a short period of time is not dangerous, which C. says is bullshit.
Also: God is everywhere, on everybody's lips, amidst each sentence, and prayers are organized everywhere.
TV News: images focussing on the George Washington war ship now in front of New Jersey.
Noon: it is announced that the Pentagon was just evacuated, fire having resumed, no figures are given, but yesterday they talked of 800 dead. May be more, they say now
One of C's friend said after the 2 towers collapsed, she saw a Stealth bomber, you couldn't hear anything
On TV: a senator explains the current American situation by the fact that Europeans do not have the same policy as the US in the Middle East (Iran, Iraq). If the whole world maintained the blockade against them, everything would be over in one year.
6.30 pm, CNN/NYU = Part of the 1 Liberty Plaza building that went on fire today just collapsed. Majority leader Senator Daschle evokes Pearl Harbor. Another building is about to collapse. The FBI has arrested men in Florida and in Boston. There are no survivors in the Pentagon. The FBI says it has identified individuals who would have been implicated in the hijackings. Commercial flights have not resumed. 23 Israeli tanks rolled into Jericho (700 meters into Palestinian territory), now occupied. The number of the Pentagon victims would now be 200, not 800
The wind has turned and the smoke is flooding Manhattan. In my bedroom, tiny bits of grit and pungent smoke; we close the windows. I'm going to the police station to find if there's a way I can be authorized to go north beyond 14th Street. Yesterday, I had to cancel an appoint with M. and this quarantine is getting on my nerves.
Thursday 13
7 a.m : NATO has just agreed to a mutual defense treaty
Lines of young volunteers, to join the US Army
TV: Ashcroft announces the inquiry is making progress but refuses to give specifics
On TV, in the past few days: no COMMERCIALS!
Roads, bridges and tunnels have opened and the airports will follow suit (Newark and JFK only), but few planes will be allowed to fly. Schools below 14th Street remain closed; libraries and the Stock Exchange are still closed. Schools north of14th will not start before 10 in the morning
The barrier opens on overcrowded NY, howling traffic and traffic jams.
Gentrified Union Square, cleaned and sanitized.
10 a.m. in Union Square:
"An eye 4 an eye
A tooth 4 a tooth
Leaves me blind and toothless"
"Grant us the Serenity to accept
the things we cannot change
The courage to change those we can
The wisdom to know the difference"
"I'm not ready to kill
I'm not ready to die
To be honest, I'm hardly
Ready to live
And I'm running out of time"
"God is Love
Love is God
God Bless America
For those who seek justice
call 1800 Go-Navy"
"Peace" is the word that's most frequent.
"All thru the Night
The Sirens sang
With 1000 broken hearts
And a 1000 pangs
And all those who died
Staring into hateful eyes
Will be justified
When 10 000 on their side die?"
"And the smoke from the Tower
Filled our darkest hour
And in the clear blue skie
So many simply dred
To day
We cry"
"The chickens have come home to roust" (sic)
"No Hate, Stop hate
Love please Love each other
No revenge, No war"
The words of "Imagine" by John Lennon
"Imagine ther's no countries...
Nothing to kill or die for...
Living life in peace..."
are underlined
Quotes by Ghandi, from the Bible, Lao Tseu, prayers.
"Retaliation is not justice
War is not the answer
Hatred got us there
Hatred will not get us out"
At the foot of Washington's statue, a small memorial made of flowers, candles, letters, poems. Long sheets of Kraft paper have been taped to the ground, felt pens everywhere and people write, keep writing. The memorial started with a small plaster column, 2 meters, crowned with a flame-like wire mesh, at the bottom, a small American flag, another one, and that's it flag-wise. Lots of flowers and perfumed candles. On the right of Washington's statue, art-brut sculptures, representing the two towers. Like me, some people are taking notes, reporters are taking pictures with powerful zooms, interviewing and recording, capturing those who come to cry and to write, young people mainly. Photos are displayed of people who have disappeared, and bunches of flowers are piling up. On the steps, a black bum is sleeping, behind Washington and his horse, young drifters in their sleeping bags.
People are walking around with huge photos pinned on their T-shirts, reporters are registering and transmitting on the spot.
Numerous texts in Spanish, but also in Chinese, Russian and Hebrew...
NYU Library
None of the books I had planned on reading are in the stacks.
Go to the press-room
Washington Post op-ed: Bush failed, (compared with Giuliani who, surprise, surprise, has proved to be a field man). He ran away hour after hour, no image of the hit Pentagon was shown for a long time, and his first speeches were poor "An incident, a terrorist incident, by folks". For an incident, the White House and the Capitol were entirely evacuated via Cold War plans
WTC's architect= Yamasaki
At armorers', major show up of people who buy weapons and munitions; also at shooting clubs, to practice
NYTimes, Thomas Friedman calls this World War III
Friday 14,
Dinner with M. and H.
We talk about their work and mine, about the situation. We are in a very chic restaurant above 14th street (I don't need IDs any longer to go up and down 14th Street) But the restaurant is empty, like the one I went to with K. last night. On the way back, we stop by Union Sq., turned into an intense forum, filled with prayers and Tibetan monks, candles and discussions.
On Broadway and University Place, shop windows have been stacked with American flags. But depending on who you talk to, what they mean is not clear. Do they mean Go to War? Probably. But they don't know what kind of War that War might be
Saturday 15
With C., at 8.30 a.m, we quickly go to the bank
On a bus, an ad for a New TV show, called "Crossing Over"; has been due for quite some time; a huge caption says:
"What if you could hear a lost loved one more time?" Obviously, the market has taken over but the merchants have not grasped that the market is over.
On TV, we've gone from "America under Attack" to "America on Alert"
Sunday 16, Monday 17
Beautiful Greyhound bus ride to Ithaca. No police cheking anywhere, Grand Central Station, streets or on the road (tunnels, toll booths)...
TV news:
Monday 8 am: Kissinger, approving the Government?s ultimatum to the Taliban: hand Bin Laden over, "Dead or alive", within 72 hours. A Pakistani delegation is in charge of the message
Airlines are firing their personnel with no restraint. The economy is undoing at full speed, I'm sorry I left my savings in NYC. Go to bed, exhausted. Peaceful night, crickets are purring outside...
Monday 18th, ride to Boston
On the radio, we hear that, on Sunday, the Italian Government had informed the US government that its military basis and its army were not ready for action on its side. On Monday, the same Italian Government declared that of course, its military basis and its army were ready to go to war together with the US. Therefore, I suppose Europe will gradually abide; Chirac is due in Washington any time. And Germany will follow suit: three of the kamikaze pilots were students near Hamburg and had organized a small group, with its praying room etc...
The trip from Ithaca to Boston is gorgeous...
As we arrive near Boston, more and more cars with flags...
Dinner at S. Everybody is worried by the situation, but no panic. Upon re-opening this morning, the Stock Exchange went down by 7% only. But later? And what's going to happen after the Taliban have rejected the ultimatum?
...
At the travel agency, I learn that TWA has gone under and I'm now on United Airlines...
I feel lost, nauseated, disgusted by everything, not interested in anything, and certainly not by libraries, though that's what I came here for. Refusal? Overdose? Rejection? ...
I read The Bush Dyslexicon, Observations on a National Disorder, by Mark Crispin Miller
Wednesday, 19
MIT and its libraries, open to readers, no IDs required!
TV, 6pm: American Air Lines has fired 50 000 people; disaster in the making; the lowering of taxes hasn't done anything for consumption, by now negative; Congress has voted a $17 billion subsidy to airlines, but who would travel? The Stock Exchange keeps sliding down. A new question has cropped up, called "the insurance cost of terrorism", which according to some Trade Secretary should be borne by tax-payers and the nation. An ironical miracle: this government is wondering what it should do to "stimulate the economy". To-morrow, Bush is to give the answer about this issue. Also about money laundering and giving banks the right to check the sources of money, which the US had refused to do up to now. Some individual rights will be curtailed.
Thursday 20; Friday, 21
A day in Salem...
In the evening, reading by Grace Paley, magnificent, tender, very moving
... In a Harvard Square bar, three huge TV sets, to broadcast Bush's speech to Congress. Well structured, beautifully oiled and delivered -tone, rhythm, mimics, smiles, not one mistake, and 23 standing ovations, and roaring applause. A real ballet, choreographed by the Speaker, sitting behind the president (navy blue jacket and red tie). The content is clever and energetic: defense of Islam, of Muslims, of Allah, of democracy, whose representatives are elected, as opposed to etc... Coming from W., after the scandal of his own election! The analysis is Manichean and old-fashioned -Good against Evil, war of civilizations, Justice against Barbarians ("Infinite Justice", "crusade" of previous days have been dropped, after Arabs and Middle East Muslims expressed their anger). Promises of a relentless war, with escalating demands presented to the Taliban: no longer just Bin Laden but all terrorists; and the necessity to chose: "with us or against us". But no particular move is announced, and Saudi Arabia is not threatened with diplomatic break even though it continues to support fundamentalist warmongers; no mention of Algeria; as for Pakistan, hard times ahead. The Veep and the Whip are absent, hiding for security reasons.
Outside, it's raining and the night is muggy...
... What I find scary here: people are sheep (more than elsewhere?) To be a sheep is considered a civic virtue. To be a good American is to be a sheep. But, at the same time, it means to be individualistic, and to defend one's individual interests... There is little or no feeling of collectiveness. Since September 11, few measures in defense of collective security -J. says "give us time, we are learning"- Schools, stations, post-offices, subways, trains are left without any protection. People think retrospectively, not prospectively. They talk about security in planes and airports; a bit about Boston harbor...
Train station luggage are not checked, garbage cans neither... People like to say that American innocence has been hit, but as Blake said, or rather as Zazie said, "Innocence my ass". Americans killed so much and so many, how can such a lack of conscience be called Innocence? It is racial and cultural arrogance... What is criminal on the territory is recommended and approved beyond. Deadly cynicism...
According to W., there has been no war on the US territory since 1864!
Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein were trained by the US against US enemies: Iran, USSR
Religion is on everybody's lips, and business companies -Lehman, Merrill-Lynch, Vidaphone- pay for pages in the press where they pray for the victims while they fire the survivors. No sense of the sacred, no respect for anything but power, their own power; no contribution to solve the problems they are largely responsible for -pollution, under-development... One day, when they have devoured the planet, they will devour each other.
20% of Americans are obese
...
Sunday 23
Back to NY . Sunny morning, crystal clear, the City is shiny
...
Monday 24
B. calls, he feels miserable, anxiety has overtaken; for the first time in his life, he feels American, but he does not know in what way. Near his house in New Jersey, a big mosque, and shop-keepers have posted threats: "Get them all and God will sort it out". He says many of his friends feel that way and he is very upset...
I've been thinking about my student, Mohamed A. who is on an exchange program with New Orleans University and wondering how he is doing...
Tuesday 23
Went to Ground Zero and walked with J. to vote for the mayor's election. The neigborhood smells of smoke, a thick, sickening smell. As we get closer, flyers everywhere, poems, prayers, bunches of flowers, messages, shrines, "This ground is hallowed" says one. The place has become a pilgrimage place, where people pray, meditate. But also, already, a kind of theater decor, and staged views. A shop, its pull-overs and jeans and shirts blanketed with ashes, has re-opened as is, and everybody takes pictures
Thursday 27
"Enduring Freedom" has replaced "Infinite Justice" (In 1998, it was "Infinite Reach", against Bin Laden already)
No one-passenger car is allowed in Manhattan (Mid-Town and Lower Manhattan,; between 6 am and noon)
To-day, HMO has dropped 475.000 elderly people, too costly.
The NY Times says 100,000 New Yorkers are threatened with unemployment.
Bush made a speech, inviting the American people to fly to Disneyland and to the beautiful spots of the USA
....
Friday at the MET, which has re-opened
Saturday 29
Northwest and American Airlines have finally agreed to severance pay, under Congress pressure
JFK with the Super Shuttle
My luggage was designated at random for X-rays, the whole thing took about an hour, but altogether 3 and a half hours. In the Terminal, reserved for Europe and Latin America flights, not one foreign daily, "nobody buys them"
Aboard, on the flight screen, a recurring old ad:
"A lot can happen between take off and landing. Stay in touch with AT&T"
***
8 Sept. - 29 Sept. 2001
This diary was written by Nelcya DELANOE, Professor of American History at the University of Paris.
My field is American Indian history within U.S. history.
I hadn't been to New York for 5 years. I went there in September 2002 to do some research and to visit friends.
The goal of my travel diaries is to take factual notes, or specific thoughts generated at the time. They help me write formal texts later on.
This translation left out personal data that are irrelevant to the subject at hand.
September 8
TWA flight, half empty
Instead of Temesta, D. gave me some Stilnox.
This pill, taken on board, immediately made me sick, like an overdose, reality went crinkly, I became dizzy, nauseous with streams of saliva, run to the toilets with paper bags, but it's just saliva. I finally get three-hours of sleep.
Landing in NY with great weather, warm too. C. is waiting for me, am still dizzy. Went to bed at 8 pm.
Sunday 9th
I'm quickly finding my bearings again and admire the City -early eight o'clock walk this morning.
Saturday night, a stream of strange dreams (lost my house, my address...)
Brooklyn Museum.; gorgeous Amerindian pieces ( Woodlands' high rank prisoner, kneeling, his hands in his back; NW Coast, SW; Nez Perce, Peru etc...) ; Iranian, Japanese
In the Khmer Art section, some beautiful pieces, obviously from the temples: "Acquisition dates: 1991, 1990, 1992". As I realized what those dates meant, I was so outraged I had to leave the premises; such beauty for a few dollars and so much blood and cynicism for just a show made me want to run away and get some fresh air. To merchandise, to spectacularize and to dehydrate history to that extent... I walk by those Bodisattva heads as if by the pail where guillotined heads would be rolling. These are kept behind clean windows, hygrometrically supervised, in an air conditioned room. And nobody seems surprised. But run away from what? And where to?
In the Botanic Gardens, I breathed in and read Shakespeare's sonnets and lines, first thing first. Then, strolled along the alleys; a young Jewish orthodox couple, pallid and smiling; a flock of young Muslim women, draped in black, pallid and smiling; a band of Latinos, prim and chockfull of children, solemnly grinning at the camera; a young and handsome gay guy promenades with old ladies, bends by the rivulet pretending he is washing his linen; trees, trees, trees, catalpa, butterfly trees, bamboo in a peaceful Japanese garden, decorated with gray herons sculptures standing by the pond, striking.
In the inferno of the subway, trains roar by. Cars are air conditioned. People ask for the train to ? and check on the map that they are on the right track. On the platform, the heat is burning, stifling, sticky.
In the evening, dinner with K and J. I walked from Cooper Union to White St. and felt NY had become a caricature of itself.
Monday 10th
I walked my neighborhood, with a long stop at the Post Office, "Next!", and the bell rings and the light twinkles. Hot and muggy morning. Lunch with T., very pleasant, continued by a long conversation on his balcony. In the distance, we see the rain come from the tip of the island and rushing towards Wall Street Canyon. Around 7.30 pm, it turns into a storm with thunder and lightning, the night is thick, so is the rain, the streets are flooded and the taxis have turned into amphibious machines plunging up to their headlights into gigantic splashes.
Thanks to T. , I have access to NYU Library, an icily air conditioned Ali Baba's cavern.
Dinner with S. and T. ...
Tuesday 11
Jet-lag is almost over.
After the enormous storm, the night has cooled off and the atmosphere is much nicer (8.30 am) To-day, appointment with one of my Indian Studies students, M. D., who just won a Figaro grant for an article on New York Indians.
8.45
A plane is flying low over Manhattan and I mention it to C., since we never hear planes in this neighborhood. Followed by an enormous explosion, like the supersonic Bang, but also like last night's thunder. The telephone rings, and C. turns the TV on and we see the World Trade Center right tower in flames, belching smoke. We rush on to the terrace, on the 6th floor, huge black swirls of smoke, black-bellied clouds flown towards Brooklyn, regular, powerful; it looks like something is stuck in the tower, is it a plane? We stand petrified, facing the two towers from the terrace, in full sunlight. And then, we see it come in from the south, shining in the rays of the sun, a huge commercial plane, at full speed, circling low and then heading up towards the second tower, evidently heading into the Tower like an act of war, ramming into it deliberately, head-on. The Tower is immediately in flames, in an enormous spiral of smoky clouds and red flames. The building itself seems to burn both form inside and outside, its structure blackened from top to bottom as if streams of black ink were running down blotting paper walls, a horizontal black tide that runs down, down. It is clear the tower will collapse any time into embers, like a smoldering log. It does!
With C., after 9.15, we concluded it was "War."
At 10.00, we went to do some errands, some old people do the same, quick quick, while the shops start closing. I rush to the bank, to take my money out, too late, all transactions are suspended and clients withdraw cash with their cards.
The streets are swarming with rows of people who walk up north, faces are serious, some are crying but everybody is calm and very worried; long lines at the bus stops, and bridges. Tunnels have closed; subway lines too. People are going uptown.
We go back up on the terrace. The tower that was hit first has fallen, cut into two. It is now smaller than Woolworth, the perspective and the skyline have changed like a film special effect, at some point the smoke dissolves, the two tall towers are gone, almost completely volatilized, one completely, the other has been beheaded; is now a stump.
On TV, we gradually learn there has been an attack against the Pentagon and that the two planes that ran into the towers were hijacked by pirates, with the passengers, coming from Boston/845, from Dallas/915. Another plane, that was threatening Camp David, was shot down.
TV 12.30: we learn that Dick Cheney is in charge at the White House, that Bush is "most probably alive", that 6 other planes had been hijacked but lost track of except for the one that crashed near Pittsburgh, all airports are closed, and so are the borders, the National Guard is deployed in NY City and the Navy is sending ships in NY harbor. I did not go to my appointment with M. D. and feel guilty but C. insists he can call or come if he needs something since he has my name and my address.
Altogether, 4 planes (coming from Newark?) have hit targets -was only one of them shot down? At 1 pm, we are told that Bush has gone from Florida to Louisiana.
Since this morning, I can think of nothing else but Pearl Harbor, which the TV person is mentioning right now. C. says it's much worse in terms of the number of people who have been killed.
In any event, "they" have struck at the heart of the empire and of its symbols: World Trade Center, Pentagon, Camp David
I'll never forget what I saw this morning.
I fear something nuclear
1.30 p.m:
Banking transactions will not resume before a few days, and since big companies were based in the towers, the world market will feel the after-shock of millions of dollars vanished into smoke. They say the damage at the Pentagon is serious, and that damage to air lines is absolute (no flight is conceivable before quite some time, which never happened).
3.45 p.m
According to security sources, Bin Laden might be responsible for "America under Attack".
Bush is hiding in Nebraska, having a secret conference with the NSC
4.15 pm
Fire is spreading to another building, I'm scared
Why don' they have planes showering carbonic snow and water?
4.30pm
"A low tech, high concept operation", Jeffrey Beatty, President of Total Security Intell
5 pm, Building 7, which was part of the WTC, collapses
7 pm, on the terrace: the enormous clouds have turned orange in the setting sun, thick orange turning black when the light declines
At 6.30 pm, on TV, C. saw images of a bombardment over Kabul. A while later, the United States let it be known they have nothing to do with such bombardment. Nothing is ever heard of it again
8 pm: Canal Street is being evacuated. I feel like leaving the area; not C. who worries for the apartment, the workshop and its precious belongings. I try to call K. uptown but the phone is dead.
On TV, we see priests, bishops, commentators and journalists, all calling for prayers
8 30 pm, TV, Micah Helpern, "Terrorism expert":
"This happened because the United States is the greatest democracy and is opposed to fundamentalism. Nothing to do with supporting Israel"
8 45: Speech by Bush, "in defense of freedom and our lifestyle... and we will seek out the terrorists and those who harbor them"
This morning, the news mentioned 8 to 10 hijacked planes; this evening, they talk of 4 planes. The 4th one crashed near Pittsburgh -on its way to Camp David? (WAS crashed, but... how? who by? The military? NOTHING about it).
"Unbelievable " is the most frequently used term.
On TV, they insist on people's trauma, and how their need for psychological support will probably last for years. Shocked by the UNBELIEVABLE nature of the thing: the towers have DISAPPEARED and building 7 has slid down in a few seconds, from ground 17 to ground zero
At 9pm, risks of biological attacks are mentioned; also, foundations of buildings in the WTC neigborhood have been shaken; also: the towers' explosion might have been reinforced by explosives taken on board
The National Guard and plane carriers are sent to NY city
10 30pm
We learn on TV that two men who looked suspect were arrested near the George Washington bridge with a truck full of explosives, to blow the bridge.
The 4 planes with their passengers = 265 persons
Wednesday 12
8 am->12 30 pm: walk down to Houston and then west to the Pier and the East River. The police will not let anybody go below Houston. The fire has resumed at 1 Financial Center and it is said the generator is burning, more big beige and brown clouds.
The army has started taking positions and the militarization of daily life is going to become visible, palpable.
At 10 o'clock, Bush made a new speech and called what happened on Monday the 11th "An Act of War"; which means the insurance companies won't have to pay for damages. Markets were immediately boosted, and the Stock Exchange too, though it is closed.
As I walked around this morning, I came across a nurse, she was calling from a pay phone as I was waiting; she seemed very worried, "This is a mess!" She later explained her patient had been evacuated from her house and the police was unable to tell her where to, but the lady needed treatment, "This is a mess, I'm hoping my supervisor will show up and help me help her!"
In a narrow, empty Village street, I saw a 4x4 Mercedes parked along the sidewalk, doors flung open; the driver arrives, an (India) Indian in his thirties, looking exhausted, elegant, small pony-tail. The car is blanketed with talc powder dust and with ashes, packs of them on the windshield. He had run away from his house, after the attack against the first tower. But he had left his dog. He had gone back there this morning, with the agreement and the help of the police, had brought his dog back and had just dropped him at some friends'. He then drove away at fullspeed in a cloud of dust and ashes. He said his apartment had been filled with them almost to the ceiling. The dog was sitting on top of the ghastly pile.
Listening to the news:
Bodies are NOT mentioned, the term is not pronounced and when some witnesses begin to mention them, they are kindly but firmly cut off; it is invisible unless you pay attention. In the same manner, no evaluation whatsoever has been made of the number of the victims (c.f., different from Baghdad/Iraq)
Also: they insist NY air is not polluted, no asbestos, no dioxin; it is also said asbestos breathed in for a short period of time is not dangerous, which C. says is bullshit.
Also: God is everywhere, on everybody's lips, amidst each sentence, and prayers are organized everywhere.
TV News: images focussing on the George Washington war ship now in front of New Jersey.
Noon: it is announced that the Pentagon was just evacuated, fire having resumed, no figures are given, but yesterday they talked of 800 dead. May be more, they say now
One of C's friend said after the 2 towers collapsed, she saw a Stealth bomber, you couldn't hear anything
On TV: a senator explains the current American situation by the fact that Europeans do not have the same policy as the US in the Middle East (Iran, Iraq). If the whole world maintained the blockade against them, everything would be over in one year.
6.30 pm, CNN/NYU = Part of the 1 Liberty Plaza building that went on fire today just collapsed. Majority leader Senator Daschle evokes Pearl Harbor. Another building is about to collapse. The FBI has arrested men in Florida and in Boston. There are no survivors in the Pentagon. The FBI says it has identified individuals who would have been implicated in the hijackings. Commercial flights have not resumed. 23 Israeli tanks rolled into Jericho (700 meters into Palestinian territory), now occupied. The number of the Pentagon victims would now be 200, not 800
The wind has turned and the smoke is flooding Manhattan. In my bedroom, tiny bits of grit and pungent smoke; we close the windows. I'm going to the police station to find if there's a way I can be authorized to go north beyond 14th Street. Yesterday, I had to cancel an appoint with M. and this quarantine is getting on my nerves.
Thursday 13
7 a.m : NATO has just agreed to a mutual defense treaty
Lines of young volunteers, to join the US Army
TV: Ashcroft announces the inquiry is making progress but refuses to give specifics
On TV, in the past few days: no COMMERCIALS!
Roads, bridges and tunnels have opened and the airports will follow suit (Newark and JFK only), but few planes will be allowed to fly. Schools below 14th Street remain closed; libraries and the Stock Exchange are still closed. Schools north of14th will not start before 10 in the morning
The barrier opens on overcrowded NY, howling traffic and traffic jams.
Gentrified Union Square, cleaned and sanitized.
10 a.m. in Union Square:
"An eye 4 an eye
A tooth 4 a tooth
Leaves me blind and toothless"
"Grant us the Serenity to accept
the things we cannot change
The courage to change those we can
The wisdom to know the difference"
"I'm not ready to kill
I'm not ready to die
To be honest, I'm hardly
Ready to live
And I'm running out of time"
"God is Love
Love is God
God Bless America
For those who seek justice
call 1800 Go-Navy"
"Peace" is the word that's most frequent.
"All thru the Night
The Sirens sang
With 1000 broken hearts
And a 1000 pangs
And all those who died
Staring into hateful eyes
Will be justified
When 10 000 on their side die?"
"And the smoke from the Tower
Filled our darkest hour
And in the clear blue skie
So many simply dred
To day
We cry"
"The chickens have come home to roust" (sic)
"No Hate, Stop hate
Love please Love each other
No revenge, No war"
The words of "Imagine" by John Lennon
"Imagine ther's no countries...
Nothing to kill or die for...
Living life in peace..."
are underlined
Quotes by Ghandi, from the Bible, Lao Tseu, prayers.
"Retaliation is not justice
War is not the answer
Hatred got us there
Hatred will not get us out"
At the foot of Washington's statue, a small memorial made of flowers, candles, letters, poems. Long sheets of Kraft paper have been taped to the ground, felt pens everywhere and people write, keep writing. The memorial started with a small plaster column, 2 meters, crowned with a flame-like wire mesh, at the bottom, a small American flag, another one, and that's it flag-wise. Lots of flowers and perfumed candles. On the right of Washington's statue, art-brut sculptures, representing the two towers. Like me, some people are taking notes, reporters are taking pictures with powerful zooms, interviewing and recording, capturing those who come to cry and to write, young people mainly. Photos are displayed of people who have disappeared, and bunches of flowers are piling up. On the steps, a black bum is sleeping, behind Washington and his horse, young drifters in their sleeping bags.
People are walking around with huge photos pinned on their T-shirts, reporters are registering and transmitting on the spot.
Numerous texts in Spanish, but also in Chinese, Russian and Hebrew...
NYU Library
None of the books I had planned on reading are in the stacks.
Go to the press-room
Washington Post op-ed: Bush failed, (compared with Giuliani who, surprise, surprise, has proved to be a field man). He ran away hour after hour, no image of the hit Pentagon was shown for a long time, and his first speeches were poor "An incident, a terrorist incident, by folks". For an incident, the White House and the Capitol were entirely evacuated via Cold War plans
WTC's architect= Yamasaki
At armorers', major show up of people who buy weapons and munitions; also at shooting clubs, to practice
NYTimes, Thomas Friedman calls this World War III
Friday 14,
Dinner with M. and H.
We talk about their work and mine, about the situation. We are in a very chic restaurant above 14th street (I don't need IDs any longer to go up and down 14th Street) But the restaurant is empty, like the one I went to with K. last night. On the way back, we stop by Union Sq., turned into an intense forum, filled with prayers and Tibetan monks, candles and discussions.
On Broadway and University Place, shop windows have been stacked with American flags. But depending on who you talk to, what they mean is not clear. Do they mean Go to War? Probably. But they don't know what kind of War that War might be
Saturday 15
With C., at 8.30 a.m, we quickly go to the bank
On a bus, an ad for a New TV show, called "Crossing Over"; has been due for quite some time; a huge caption says:
"What if you could hear a lost loved one more time?" Obviously, the market has taken over but the merchants have not grasped that the market is over.
On TV, we've gone from "America under Attack" to "America on Alert"
Sunday 16, Monday 17
Beautiful Greyhound bus ride to Ithaca. No police cheking anywhere, Grand Central Station, streets or on the road (tunnels, toll booths)...
TV news:
Monday 8 am: Kissinger, approving the Government?s ultimatum to the Taliban: hand Bin Laden over, "Dead or alive", within 72 hours. A Pakistani delegation is in charge of the message
Airlines are firing their personnel with no restraint. The economy is undoing at full speed, I'm sorry I left my savings in NYC. Go to bed, exhausted. Peaceful night, crickets are purring outside...
Monday 18th, ride to Boston
On the radio, we hear that, on Sunday, the Italian Government had informed the US government that its military basis and its army were not ready for action on its side. On Monday, the same Italian Government declared that of course, its military basis and its army were ready to go to war together with the US. Therefore, I suppose Europe will gradually abide; Chirac is due in Washington any time. And Germany will follow suit: three of the kamikaze pilots were students near Hamburg and had organized a small group, with its praying room etc...
The trip from Ithaca to Boston is gorgeous...
As we arrive near Boston, more and more cars with flags...
Dinner at S. Everybody is worried by the situation, but no panic. Upon re-opening this morning, the Stock Exchange went down by 7% only. But later? And what's going to happen after the Taliban have rejected the ultimatum?
...
At the travel agency, I learn that TWA has gone under and I'm now on United Airlines...
I feel lost, nauseated, disgusted by everything, not interested in anything, and certainly not by libraries, though that's what I came here for. Refusal? Overdose? Rejection? ...
I read The Bush Dyslexicon, Observations on a National Disorder, by Mark Crispin Miller
Wednesday, 19
MIT and its libraries, open to readers, no IDs required!
TV, 6pm: American Air Lines has fired 50 000 people; disaster in the making; the lowering of taxes hasn't done anything for consumption, by now negative; Congress has voted a $17 billion subsidy to airlines, but who would travel? The Stock Exchange keeps sliding down. A new question has cropped up, called "the insurance cost of terrorism", which according to some Trade Secretary should be borne by tax-payers and the nation. An ironical miracle: this government is wondering what it should do to "stimulate the economy". To-morrow, Bush is to give the answer about this issue. Also about money laundering and giving banks the right to check the sources of money, which the US had refused to do up to now. Some individual rights will be curtailed.
Thursday 20; Friday, 21
A day in Salem...
In the evening, reading by Grace Paley, magnificent, tender, very moving
... In a Harvard Square bar, three huge TV sets, to broadcast Bush's speech to Congress. Well structured, beautifully oiled and delivered -tone, rhythm, mimics, smiles, not one mistake, and 23 standing ovations, and roaring applause. A real ballet, choreographed by the Speaker, sitting behind the president (navy blue jacket and red tie). The content is clever and energetic: defense of Islam, of Muslims, of Allah, of democracy, whose representatives are elected, as opposed to etc... Coming from W., after the scandal of his own election! The analysis is Manichean and old-fashioned -Good against Evil, war of civilizations, Justice against Barbarians ("Infinite Justice", "crusade" of previous days have been dropped, after Arabs and Middle East Muslims expressed their anger). Promises of a relentless war, with escalating demands presented to the Taliban: no longer just Bin Laden but all terrorists; and the necessity to chose: "with us or against us". But no particular move is announced, and Saudi Arabia is not threatened with diplomatic break even though it continues to support fundamentalist warmongers; no mention of Algeria; as for Pakistan, hard times ahead. The Veep and the Whip are absent, hiding for security reasons.
Outside, it's raining and the night is muggy...
... What I find scary here: people are sheep (more than elsewhere?) To be a sheep is considered a civic virtue. To be a good American is to be a sheep. But, at the same time, it means to be individualistic, and to defend one's individual interests... There is little or no feeling of collectiveness. Since September 11, few measures in defense of collective security -J. says "give us time, we are learning"- Schools, stations, post-offices, subways, trains are left without any protection. People think retrospectively, not prospectively. They talk about security in planes and airports; a bit about Boston harbor...
Train station luggage are not checked, garbage cans neither... People like to say that American innocence has been hit, but as Blake said, or rather as Zazie said, "Innocence my ass". Americans killed so much and so many, how can such a lack of conscience be called Innocence? It is racial and cultural arrogance... What is criminal on the territory is recommended and approved beyond. Deadly cynicism...
According to W., there has been no war on the US territory since 1864!
Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein were trained by the US against US enemies: Iran, USSR
Religion is on everybody's lips, and business companies -Lehman, Merrill-Lynch, Vidaphone- pay for pages in the press where they pray for the victims while they fire the survivors. No sense of the sacred, no respect for anything but power, their own power; no contribution to solve the problems they are largely responsible for -pollution, under-development... One day, when they have devoured the planet, they will devour each other.
20% of Americans are obese
...
Sunday 23
Back to NY . Sunny morning, crystal clear, the City is shiny
...
Monday 24
B. calls, he feels miserable, anxiety has overtaken; for the first time in his life, he feels American, but he does not know in what way. Near his house in New Jersey, a big mosque, and shop-keepers have posted threats: "Get them all and God will sort it out". He says many of his friends feel that way and he is very upset...
I've been thinking about my student, Mohamed A. who is on an exchange program with New Orleans University and wondering how he is doing...
Tuesday 23
Went to Ground Zero and walked with J. to vote for the mayor's election. The neigborhood smells of smoke, a thick, sickening smell. As we get closer, flyers everywhere, poems, prayers, bunches of flowers, messages, shrines, "This ground is hallowed" says one. The place has become a pilgrimage place, where people pray, meditate. But also, already, a kind of theater decor, and staged views. A shop, its pull-overs and jeans and shirts blanketed with ashes, has re-opened as is, and everybody takes pictures
Thursday 27
"Enduring Freedom" has replaced "Infinite Justice" (In 1998, it was "Infinite Reach", against Bin Laden already)
No one-passenger car is allowed in Manhattan (Mid-Town and Lower Manhattan,; between 6 am and noon)
To-day, HMO has dropped 475.000 elderly people, too costly.
The NY Times says 100,000 New Yorkers are threatened with unemployment.
Bush made a speech, inviting the American people to fly to Disneyland and to the beautiful spots of the USA
....
Friday at the MET, which has re-opened
Saturday 29
Northwest and American Airlines have finally agreed to severance pay, under Congress pressure
JFK with the Super Shuttle
My luggage was designated at random for X-rays, the whole thing took about an hour, but altogether 3 and a half hours. In the Terminal, reserved for Europe and Latin America flights, not one foreign daily, "nobody buys them"
Aboard, on the flight screen, a recurring old ad:
"A lot can happen between take off and landing. Stay in touch with AT&T"
***
Collection
Citation
“story7651.xml,” September 11 Digital Archive, accessed January 6, 2025, https://911digitalarchive.org/items/show/12921.