story10641.xml

story10641.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2004-06-09

Every moment of that terrible day is etched into my memory. I was at home, sleeping (west coast) and my younger sister left the house very early, so she was up. I could hear her getting ready to go to work. She finally came into our room and said that a plane had hit the WTC. I immediately thought it must have been a small, private plane, but got up to see what was going on. All 3 of us kids were born in Manhattan, and watched from CT as the WTC towers were built, yes, we are that old.

I remember being confused as there was a live picture of the towers, and the sky was clear, despite the black smoke coming from the tower, and you could see for miles and miles, so I could not understand how a plane could accidentally hit it. As soon as they said a large airplane I was concerned...and I became very much frightened.

I could not move from my place in front of the tv...I was mesmerized...I remember watching Katie Couric and Matt Lauer try to maintain their journalistic faces, but I could tell that they were also horrified...there were just no words to express what we were seeing. Chaos....if only that was the end of it.

What I so clearly remember next is seeing a large commercial airliner roaring and speeding into the tower. I was once again confused...thinking that someone had located video of the first plane, when it hit me that the other tower was already burning, so it was a 2nd plane...wow...we were under attack. I woke up my boyfriend and we all sat together on the couch in front of the tv. I had a terrible thought of what kind of world my 2 year old daughter would grow up in, if she even got the chance. I also immediately called my lifelong friend in Darien, CT...and she was in shock. My phone kept ringing...friends from CT, as well as my brother and his family, who were living in Berlin. My brother wanted info...the reporter in him...so I told him all that I was seeing. They did not get as much live video as quickly as we did...so I told him what was being shown on which station.

My brother had worked at AP Dow Jones for a few years, so I was familiar with the area. I would fly into JFK, take a bus to Grand Central and then take the subway to the WTC...I could not imagine what was going on on the ground. Fortunately, we mostly saw video from a distance, as I am not sure I could have handled seeing what must have been going on.

I work for a defense contractor (and dealt with lots of military personnel on a daily basis). I was concerned for some of them, who I knew would be involved in whatever came next. I called my boss and said that I did not want to come into work, but would if they needed me. My boss usually got to work around dawn, and even he had not heard what was going on...he said he would call some of our contacts, but did not want to bother them when they clearly had more important things to do.

Time seemed to stand still, and at the same time, race by. It seemed like a movie...special effects...

Then I remember hearing, but not seeing Jim Mizelchevski (sp?) the NBC Pentagon reporter saying that there had been some kind of explosion at the Pentagon, and that the construction workers were all running AWAY from the building. I was amazed that he sounded so calm, and kept saying that he felt something, but that no one had been able to confirm anything at the time. I then really started to fear for all of us...that this was quickly going to escalate.

We were watching the different channels I remember seeing all the emergency personnel running into the burning buildings...and thinking wow, what makes someone do that. While I was thinking about that, I was watching the South Tower, and it just did not seem right...it was smoky from the point of impact, but I remember saying that it was going to collapse, and right after I said that it did....I think I actually had to sit down...I honestly thought that I had just watched 20,000 people die in an instant...I cried...for them, and for their families, and for what we all faced next. When the south tower fell, I thought that the north would soon follow...I was surprised that it stayed up for as long as it did.

I do not think that I could tear myself away from the TV for 2 days. I felt so sad for us as a people...that we could do this to each other. To attack innocent, non-combattants, knowing and hoping that the casualties would be tremendous just went against everything I believed in. Of course there was lots of incorrect information, about the numbers, about who did it, why, etc. None of that bothered me until we started to hear the stories of average people making the supreme sacrafice to help others. New Yorkers are not typically known for their kindness...and what we witnessed that day was nothing short of a miracle.

The plane that did NOT crash into anything was filled with people willing to do all they could, including dying, so that others would be spared. To hear the stories of their phone calls, how they gathered information that helped them make the decision to take their fates out of others hands was incredible. I was also amazed at how many people were saved...despite the obvious problems and chaos that prevailed after the attack.

To help myself come to terms with the whole thing, I tried to imagine that most of the people who worked in the towers were males, a bit older (at least 40) and most had financial plans made for their families. I was also relieved that the Federal Government did what they did to help them all out. I later heard from a friend in CT that there were terrible news stories about the fighting between relatives about the cash...and that some people were really being held captive to take the money and not try to sue. The issue was who could they sue? The airlines would probably go bankrupt...who could possibly have imagined this could happen...even after the first bombing.

Something else that helped me was to read the individual stories of those who perished. They were so loved, so much alive. I have tried to read each and every one of their stories.

It has been nearly 3 years, and while we visited ground zero a few months after the 1st anniversary, I cannot tell you that these memories have faded from my brain. My daughter knows what happened, as I never tried to shield her from it. We visited the site, and her little toddler mind now relates it to the Statue of Liberty, which we could only look at from Lower Manhattan. She also has no fear of flying, which surprised me...and thinks that this was just a bad thing that happened because of bunch of bad people wanted to hurt us.

My cousin is now in Iraq. He has a wife and two young (18 months and 7 months) children at home. I hope that we do not have to sacrafice any more lives to live in peace. I know that is not very practical, but I tell my daughter about her great grandfather, Lt. Commander Grant, who was in WWII and a surgeon in Korea, as well as her grand-father, who also served in Korea. I explain that we have an army to protect us from bad people. We spent Memorial Day at a Scotish Highland Games Festival, which is a tradition, and we took time to remember all those before us who have fought for our rights and freedoms and all those who have given all.

I do not care about all the people who think that God has no place in American politics and government....I ask that God Bless the USA every single day and keep us safe.

Ingrid Kirschbaum