story6632.xml

story6632.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-12

I work at a local grocery store as a Health and Beauty clerk. My manager was on vacation with her family in Disney World. My boyfriend, whom I live with and also works as a Pricing coordinator, had to be at work at 7am. I didn't have to be there until 10:30am, but since I didn't have my drivers license at the time I had to ride in with him. I planned on sitting in the car listening to the radio until around 9am, when he had to leave to go to class at a college nearby. He would return to work after his class was over.
Shortly after 8:30, he came out to the car and I kissed him goodbye, telling him I would see him when he got back. I went in to go to the breakroom where we have a television planning to watch tv until I had to clock in to work. When I went in one of our baggers named Wally was sitting at a table in front of the tv. "A plane has hit one of the World Trade Towers." he told me. I sat down, thinking it was a small plane, and it was an accident. I think we were watching Good Morning America, something like that, and the anchor was speaking on the phone to a lady who was in a nearby buisness building. She was telling what she could see from her view, as we watched the towers burning on our screen from a similar view to hers.
Suddenly, we saw a speck off to the side and both of us said at the same time, "What's that?" You could then hear the lady and her coworkers screaming in terror, "Oh my God, another plane!" and boom, we saw it hit right before our eyes. Then I knew, this was no accident, and I began to long for my boyfriend. I needed to be near him. We watched in horror as the towers burned, and I began to cry.
I am only 20 years old, I wasn't alive during WW2, and I was only a child during the Gulf War. I can, however, remember seeing it on tv, and since I was so young I remember hiding underneath my bed thinking I was safe from all the bombing if it ever came here to Kentucky. I didn't know any better. Now its a little different. I know my bed won't save me from any bombs. But I am still terrified of the very thought of war. Seeing those towers burning made me realize this meant war, and although it may be a good reason for war, for some, I just dont want to go through what my parents went through in WW2. In fact I don't believe any one should ever have to go through that again.
Shortly after, we saw that the Pentagon had been the next target. I really got frightened, and began to pray to God to make these people stop. The plane then crashed in Pennsylvania, and people were saying there were others heading for Camp David and the Capitol. All these rumors were flying, then someone mentioned that Disney World had been closed and evacuated. I remembered that my manager was there on vacation and I became worried about her. I also had to laugh a little because I knew she was probably extremely mad; something always happens to her vacations!
My boyfriend then returned from class. He knew what had happened but didn't know any details, and was unaware of all the nasty rumors. (Lucky for him) Some of the older guys at my work had been around at the time of WW2. One had been drafted. And they all began talking about the draft, that they would take anyone over the age of 18. I know the draft was abolished, but it still bothered me. I have a 18 year old brother, my boyfriend is 22 years old, and I graduated with many boys and girls who went into the military. I have a friend who is pregnant and married to a man in the navy. My sister had just given birth to my nephew, and a coworker who was a very good friend was pregnant and due in a few months. It terrifies me to think that they could be drafted, or that my friends could have to fight in this war, or that these children would be brought into a world filled with war and be tagged as a war child like my mother. I guess I just cry for peace too much, but too much just doesn't seem to be enough.
For the rest of the day we were glued to the tv like flys on glue paper. We saw the towers fall, and the people cry. We saw tons of pictures of loved ones who were lost or missing. Out of an 8 hour work day I worked for about an hour total, all in between running back and forth between the tv in our breakroom, the tv in our pharmacy and the phone to call my mom. And for the next few weeks our television set was always on Fox News or MSNBC or CNN. Until finally I got tired of seeing the same thing over and over again. Either it was the towers falling, or the haunting image of the second plane slamming into the second tower. That will haunt me for the rest of my life, just like Pearl Harbor haunts others. I can actually say I saw the second plane hit. I may not have been there in New York, but I still saw it happen. And it still follows me and scares me. Soon I got tired of hearing that they were "Closing in on Bin Laden" "Bin Laden is most likely dead in a cave somewhere." to me it was all blah blah blah. I felt that the media and government were trying to ease all of our fears, but not many people are stupid enough to believe it after we heave heard it over and over again. Instead it was just creating more fear.
That is when I turned off the tv, and began to go on with life just as I should. I was still scared, but when the tv would show more coverage of 9-11 and Afghanistan, I would go walking or read a magazine, providing it wasn't filled with stories of 9-11. And gradually, things got easier. Yesterday, the anniversary of 9-11, I worked again just like last year, but did everything I could to stay away from the televisions. After work, I went downtown to a local memorial and left 3 votive candles, a red, white and blue. I then went to the most beautiful church I have ever been in and prayed. Then I went home and went to bed. And I felt much better this year, than I would have if I would have turned on my tv.