story2910.xml

story2910.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-11

On the morning of September 11th I had a terrible feeling
in my heart and for a couple of days before that I kept
thinking that my boyfriend was keeping something from me.
Being a woman, it's the first thing that comes to mind when
you get that weird feeling in your heart. I had just gotten
off the phone with him when I hear my co-workers screaming.
When I walked to the back of our office I could see that
the first tower was in flames. (I work 3 blocks from the
Trade Center). My first reaction was to call my friend Sean
who worked on the 102nd floor of the first tower. A lady
picked up the phone and after asking if Sean was there she
said that he was, but they weren't picking up phones
anymore because a plane just hit their building. I told
her that I could see it from my window and I told her to be
safe. She said we'll try. Then she said she had to get off
the phone in order to evacuate. I never asked her what her
name was but I could never forget the sound of her voice.
My best friend called me and while I was on the phone with
her, the second plane hit. At that point I made the decision
to leave my building. I met up with some people from my department
downstairs and we just waited and watched. Then it happened.
Tower 2 collapsed. We heard another explosion and when I
looked up I saw just the top of the Tower coming down.
I remember trying to run and stopping to cry. Then a co-worker tripped
and fell and another lady trip and fell over her. So I went
back to get her off the floor and we just ran. I work across
the street from the Stock Exchange and as we ran down
Exchange Place and towards Broad Street a huge cloud of
smoke came towards us and a woman yelled "Oh my God, they
bombed the Stock Exchange!" We ran back in the direction that
we were coming from and the same cloud was coming towards us
from that direction. We were trapped. The cloud caught us from
all directions. I remember the feeling was like millions of
little needles pricking my skin. You couldn't even see your
own hand in front of you. Luckily we were holding hands so
the person in the front of the "line" lead us into a clothing
store on the corner of that street. We went in and I cried.
I cried like I've never cried before. I was so scared. I
thought I was going to die that day. I thought I would never
see my family or my friends or the love of my life again.
The people in the store were so wonderful. They gave us water
napkins to wipe our dusty skin, they let us use their phones
to call our families. They were just wonderful. We waited
and watched from the television in their basement as Tower 1
came crumbling down. A couple of my co-workers cried for their
siblings because they thought they were still in there. I
kept reassuring them that I had called Sean over an hour
and a half before and that they were trying to evacuate
so they had nothing to worry about. Five of us walked 2 hours
and a half back to my house in Brooklyn. We kept watching
on my TV and I had so many phone calls. The phone lines
weren't working so it was difficult for me to get through to
anyone. But I able to get through eventually. What worried
me the most was that I couldn't get through to my family in
Puerto Rico. My mother and sister and brother all live there
and I couldn't get through to them until about 5pm that day.
At some point my co-workers left to get themselves home. And
there I was. Alone. With no one to talk to. No one to hug.
No one to cry to. (Except over the phone).Then I thought to
myself, "I need to get in contact with Sean". I never did.
After watching an interview that the president of Cantor
Fitzgerald gave on a news program a few days later, I
realized that Sean never made it out. I called my mother and
cried. I was in a daze for such a long time. I couldn't even
smile. I felt like I lost my mind. Luckily my two co-workers'
siblings made it out alive. To this day the events of
September 11th, 2001 still effect me in the worst way. I
still cry for no reason. I still get depressed.
I still remember Sean. I still have nightmares. The memory
of the fear is still so strong in my heart. But everyday, I
am grateful. I am grateful that I'm breathing and that I get
to see another birthday. I get to call and see my loved ones.
I feel like I've gotten a second chance. So I started singing
again and performing. I'm following my life long dream. I love with
all of me. I wish with more thought. I don't stress over much.
I feel better about myself as a person. I'm able to give more
of myself completely. I am thankful for all things small and
large. Today, on the anniversary or these horrible tragedies,
I give thanks to all those who gave their lives for the rest
of us and I also give thanks to those who joined together to
help. Seany, I miss you and I will remember you always.