story1099.xml

story1099.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-19

I got to work by 8:00 on September 11, 2001. The last few months had already been pretty hectic for me. I was married in July and was in a pretty bad car accident in August. I was lucky to survive both events. All I wanted to do was get back to my regular work routine. That was hard to do since my work week now consisted of 3 doctor visits each week and a daily call to my lawyer and insurance company. The accident was not my fault, a lady pulled out and hit me when I was going 45 mph. I swerved just enough to allow both of us to walk away. If you have ever been in a car accident, you know how stressful it can be. You try to get healthy, you try to get your car replaced, you try to prevent the insurance company from taking advantage of you, and you are always trying to figure out what to do with the entire situation. It's always changing and nothing is ever easy.
I work in a cube farm for a big company. Have you seen the Dilbert comic strip? Well, that's how I feel at work sometimes. I'm a technical guy that tries to keep people's pets alive. If you got a sick fish, your snake won't eat, your pond has a leak, you call me and I try to help you. My job can be fun or it can be very stressful. Normally, it's not a problem but with the last few months, my edges were frayed. That morning, I was waiting for my bank to confirm my loan for a new car. My bank had not received confirmation that my old car was totaled and had been paid off. The car dealership was expecting me to come pick the car up after work. Once again, nothing seemed simple.
When one of my friends yelled over their cube that a plane hit the world trade center, I didn't pay much attention to it. I thought a 2 person plane must have hit it by accident. I continued making calls to my bank trying to get things taken care of. I was faxing information and calling my wife in a rant about the whole car thing. The radio confirmed a plane had hit the towers. They sounded very concerned about it but I didn't see the gravity of it. A small plane hitting the tower was tragic but not the titanic sinking. It would be in the headlines for a few days, the damage would be repaired, and that would be it. I didn't think it had anything to do with me. Then I heard other people talking about the towers. They were saying an airliner hit the tower. I figured it was the rumor mill blowing things up again. If you work in an office, you are either the person that spreads ehe rumors or the person that gets entertained by the rumors. Me, I get entertained by how far the rumor gets from the truth. Someone may have a flat in the parking lot but by the time I hear it, someone's tires were slashed by a jealous boyfriend that wants to kill Jane Doe. Then a few hours later, the truth pops up and you just shake your head. An airliner hitting the towers was hard to believe, an airliner hitting the towers on purpose just wasn't possible. When that rumor started, I chalked it up for paranoia. Then the second plane hit. I was staring out the window when I heard that. I wasn't thinking about the towers. I was thinking of how I was going to get my new car. I needed the loan approval by 3:00 today. I was thinking about my problems. I had been since August 16th. I guess that's why I just kept telling myself that the towers were really going to be okay. Maybe one plane hit one of the towers. A small two seater plane that some amateur pilot was flying. Then the calls stopped. I get about 50 to 75 calls a day. Everyone in my department gets that many calls. There is always a phone ringing but a little after 10:00, the phones just stopped. I could hear people mumbling about two jet airliners hitting the towers. There was talk of it being on purpose. I picked up the phone to make a call. Not to my bank or to my lawyer. I called my wife. She had been keeping up with situation in New York. She always started her day by listening to CNN. She said one of her employees, his dad works in the smaller trade center building. She told me the pentagon may have been hit by a plane. We didn't talk long. I just gave her the latest update on getting the car. I told her I would call her later. I called my bank again. I was getting closer to getting my loan approved. I just needed a little more time. I called my car dealer and told him i was having some trouble getting the loan. It wasn't I couldn't get the loan but I didn't have all the paper work done. I told him to bear with me and I would have the loan. I still planned to get the car today.
Then I started getting on the web to see what CNN was saying about New York. I couldn't log on, the site was busy. I tried MSNBC and MSN. There were too many users on their sites. One of my friends at work had been on the CNN site all morning, they e-mailed the story to me. I was able to log on through their e-mail. I say about the towers being on fire. I read about the airliners hitting and how many people had lost their lives. I saw the pentagon had been hit. Then the word terrorist started to pop up on every headline. That's when if first registered in my mind. It was real. I read every bit of information on the web page. It didn't seem possible. I called my mom. She knew all about what was going on. She told me that my uncle in the reserves was at the pentagon. She was worried about him and had been calling family all morning. She couldn't get in touch with anyone.
I called my wife again. She wasn't worried anymore. She was upset. The truth wasn't a flat tire in the parking lot. The truth was more than any rumor could fabricate. Two airliners had hit the world trade center. The planes had been hijacked by terrorists and turned into weopons against the United States. Another plane had hit the pentagon and a forth had crashed in Pennsylvania. It effected my mom through my uncle. It effectd my wife through her friend's father. And it effected me through them.
I heard about people jumping from the towers. I read about it on the website. Then the towers collapsed. I hoped the people inside had gotten out but the news reports were grim.
The loss of life was staggering. More information came in about police and fire fighters inside the buildings. I kept picturing it all in my mind but I just couldn't make a mental picture of it. I couldn't quite comprehend it. I needed to distract my self.
I called my bank and they told me the loan couldn't be processed. All the banks were locked up because of the towers. It was one more way I had been effected by the tragedy. I called my car dealer and told him it might take me a few days to get things done. I couldn't get my new car. I can go another day without a car. What did it really matter. Somehow new cars, lawyers, insurance companies, and medical bills just didn't seem as important as they did at 8:00. I have the things that really matter. I called those people that matter and didn't worry about the things that don't matter. No new car? So what. So what.
When I got home I watched the TV like every other American. I saw the horrible images over and over again. I felt angry and I felt sad and I felt this incredible loss for people I didn't even know. I was effected not just by the people connected to me directly but by those that were on that TV. I got that new car 2 days later. I bought my flag and put it on my car. I got my t-shirt with U.S.A. proudly written across the front. It suddenly wasn't corny to have these things. It was a matter of pride. It was showing support. It was cool to be American again. It was okay to show your american pride.
My brother-in-law is in the Middle East now. He has been for some time but there is talk he is coming home soon. The world is different for me this August. I laugh about how hard it was to get married. I don't think about the car accident much. I'm grateful for being healthy and for having my family. I enjoy talking to my uncle that was at the pentagon that day. I don't take my freedom for granted. I still grumble about the things that don't really matter. But at the same time, I tell myself to remember the things that are truly important. I'm different. Most of the people I know now are. But some things are still the same. Tell me a story about a flat tire, I'll still laugh about it. Still laugh about those ballooned up rumors. But, so what. I know what's really important.